The Gold Chronicles Shorts
by CJ Moliere
Summary: A collection of short tales from the Gold Chronicles that take place at different points in time with romance, a little drama and a LOT of humor!
1. The Dust Bunnies Are Coming

Storybrooke, Maine

2014

When Hope watched her mother clean she always heard her talking about nasty little things called dust bunnies but she never saw them. They seemed to like living in her Daddy's office the most and her Mommy would chase them with her broom. Then when her Daddy came home her Mommy would ask him how many times she told him that he had to stop cluttering up the corners because the dust bunnies would pile up in there. Hope didn't understand how a bunch of bunnies could be comfortable piling up in corners as small as the ones in Daddy's office. How did they eat, sleep or go to the potty? She asked her Mommy this one day.

"Don't you worry, sweetie. You'll never have to see those nasty little things."

"Cause you chase em with the broom?"

"Because I chase them with my broom." her mother affirmed.

"Are they ugly, Mommy?"

"Very ugly."

"Then I'm glad I don't see 'em."

Later that night she had a dream that she heard something growling in the corner of her room. The little girl crawled out of bed and tip toed over to the corner. A big grey bunny popped out of the corner, saliva dripping from its fangs and its eyes glowing fire red.

"I'm gonna get you and I'm gonna eat you up," it taunted.

The child sat upright in bed and screamed, the noise bringing her parents running into the room. She threw herself into her father's arms while Belle turned on the lamp.

"Hope, sweetheart, what's the matter?" he asked worriedly.

"It was just a bad dream sweetie," Belle soothed as she stroked the little girl's back.

"No it wasn't," she wailed. "It...it said it was gonna eat me!"

"What was?"

"A...a...dust bunny!"

Rumple frowned at his wife. "Belle! Exactly how did you describe dust bunnies to our daughter that makes her afraid they'll eat her?"

"I didn't!" she protested. "I just said they were nasty and ugly and we wouldn't have them if you'd keep your office corners unclutterd," she reminded him angrily.

"It is nasty!" Hope cried. "It has fangs, red eyes and its fur sticks up and looks greasy like it doesn't wash it! We gotta get Mommy's broom so's she can chase it away and Daddy...you gots to keep the trash outta your office corner so's they go away!"

Rumple slapped his forehead with his hand. "I don't believe this! Hope, if I show you what a real dust bunny looks like I promise you it's not gonna eat you."

"O...Okay..." she said softly.

Rumple waved his hand, conjuring a dust bunny.

Hope gazed up at it. "Daddy...what is that?"

"This is what your Mommy calls a dust bunny. It's made up of a bunch of nonliving stuff...spider webs, dirt, hair, lint even trash and it is not going to eat you."

"Ewww!" The little girl wrinkled her nose in disgust. "That's gross! Daddy, you gots to keep your office corners clean 'cause I don't wanna see those nasty things."

"And I hate having to pick them out of my broom!" Belle grumbled.

"Huh? They gets stuck in your broom?" Hope asked her mother.

"Yes they do."

"Ewwww!"

"All right. Now that you've seen what they are, do you believe me when I tell you they can't eat you?" Rumple inquired.

"Uh huh."

"Now it's time for you to go back to sleep."

"We gotta get Mommy's broom first."

"Why?"

"Cause you got a dust bunny in your hand and we need the broom to make it go away."

Rumple made the dust bunny vanish. "There. All gone. Now get back to sleep."

"Ummm...Daddy if you can make 'em go poof, why does Mommy hafta chase 'em with the broom?"

"So I can tell Daddy he has to keep clutter out of the corners." Belle teased.

"Did he have lotsa cluttered corners in the big castle?"

Belle chuckled. "Yes he did."

"Didya yell at him?"

"Oh, all the time."

"If you two are finished, you should be getting back to sleep Hope Marie." her father said. They kissed their daughter goodnight and tucked her into bed. Once they were back in their own bed, Rumple scowled at his wife. "Wonderful, dearie! Now our daughter thinks I'm a slob!"

"Well if you would stop being such a hoarder we wouldn't have a dust bunny problem in the first place," she scolded. "I'm warning you Rumplestiltskin, one of these day I am going to call Blue and ask her to send her donation truck over here because I won't have any more clutter in my house. Thank the gods you don't have this problem in our house in Florida."

He cringed, dreading the day Mrs. Potts would tell her about the room in the summer mansion's third floor...


	2. Poof In Case of Emergency

Storybrooke Maine

2015

Hope Gold had to use the potty...badly. Unfortunately, she was in the mall with her big brother Bae and she didn't like going in the public potty because she'd heard her parents discussing how filthy some public potties were. They were in the Disney store and Bae was telling her to pick out something she wanted for her birthday. She couldn't decide whether she wanted the Little Mermaid shirt or the Belle shirt. She'd been fascinated with both fairy tales for as long as she could remember and. She didn't know how she knew but she knew her Mommy was the Belle from the story, only prettier and her Daddy was supposed to be The Beast. He wasn't a beast, except when he got mad and most of the time people made him mad because they did something stupid.

Hope was getting worried. She still couldn't decide what she wanted but she really had to go and it wasn't going to wait until she got home. Remembering that her father sometimes poofed into purple smoke, Hope concentrated until she did it herself and she was in the bathroom at her father's shop.

Rumple and Belle had just finished signing for new shipments to their shop when Rumple's cellphone rang. It was Baelfire and he was frantic.

"Papa...I...I can't find Hope!" he cried.

"What?!" Rumple exclaimed. "Bae...where are you?"

"I'm in the mall. Papa, I swear to God I only took my eyes off her a second and she was gone. I'm looking for her and I called Wyatt. He and Emma are on their way over here to look for her now. Papa, I'm so sorry."

"Rumple...oh my God...we have to find her!" Belle cried.

"We will, sweetheart, we will," he assured her although he was terrified himself. Storybrooke grew in the years since his daughter was born bringing refugees from the other realms and there were some of them he didn't trust, especially with his precious children. "Bae, I want you to call me immediately if you find her!"

"I will Papa."

Rumple grabbed his coat and he and Belle were about to leave the shop when they heard the commode flushing in the backroom, both confused as they were the only ones on the premises. They went to the backroom to investigate and were shocked when their daughter walked out of the bathroom.

"Hope!" Belle sobbed and threw her arms around her daughter and Rumple embraced both of them.

"Hope, sweetheart, how...how did you get here?" Rumple inquired.

"I had to poof," the child answered.

"Poop?"

"Not poop...poof. Poof!" she corrected. "Y'know...like this," she said and vanished into smoke, then reappeared. "I poofed like you do." she declared proudly.

"Don't do that again. You have your brother worried sick!" Rumple scolded. "Why did you vanish like that?"

"I had to potty and the public potties are nasty. You and Mommy say so."

"Next time young lady, you go to the potty where you're at...and have someone put one of those covers on the seat. No more poofing! Understand?"

"Mommy..."

"You heard Daddy. No poofing," Belle said sternly.

A police siren was heard outside and Bae entered the shop followed by Wyatt and Emma.

"Hope?" Bae gasped when he saw his sister and hugged her. "H...How did you get here?"

"I poofed," she announced.

"She what?" Wyatt said.

"Y'know Mister Cain...I poofed like you, DG, Az an Archie." she said.

Wyatt glanced over at Rumple. "Poofed? Ummm...what does she mean by that?"

"She teleported using magic. Which she will not be doing again. Isn't that right, Hope?" Rumple demanded.

"Uh huh."

"Now you apologize to Sheriff Cain, Emma and Bae," Belle instructed.

"Umm...M'sorry Mister Cain, Emma...Bae." she said nervously.

"Rumple, you really do have your hands full now, don't you?" Emma teased.

"Don't remind me," he muttered.

"If your child can do that at her age, I don't even want to think about what my kid is gonna do!" Wyatt cried. DG was six months pregnant with their second child and the child was likely to be like they were.

"Be prepared, dearie, because a magical child will keep you on your toes. Trust me...I have two of them and two others who can use it when they want to...plus my grandson."

"And Dottie and I have dragon blood..." he moaned.

"Oh God, Papa, is this what I have to look forward to with any more kids I have?" Bae groaned.

"They would be Strogoffs so yes." Rumple reminded him.

"I need a drink."

"Make that two. Emma, you're in charge for the rest of the day...we're going to The Rabbit Hole," Wyatt informed his deputy and the three of them left.

"Vile joint," Rumple muttered under his breath. "Come on, let's go home." he said as he picked up Hope.


	3. Why Don't You Get a Job?

Now that he was sixteen and had his license, Henry Mills Gold wanted his own car and had plenty of people in the family he could ask to get one. The first person he asked was Regina. She didn't feel he was ready for a car of his own yet and refused his request. The next person he asked was Emma. She was in complete agreement with Regina...he wasn't ready to have his own car. Desperate, Henry approached his father whose response stunned him.

"Why can't I have my own car? A lot of other kids have their own cars now!" Henry protested.

"Why don't you get a job?" Bae countered.

"What for?"

"What for? If you get a job you can buy your own car and learn to be responsible. You're not a child anymore Henry. It's time you started learning to live like an adult. In two years you'll be one and believe me, nowadays, you want to start working early How do you expect to become a chef if you sit around on the computer or play on the X-Box all day? You need experience and you can't learn all of that at home."

"I'll just ask Grandpa to get me a car."

"And they'll both tell you the same thing, at least I know my father will." Bae said confidently. "You want a car, you get a job. End of discussion."

Henry didn't feel he was ready to start working but he did want a car so that he could take Grace out on dates. He was almost positive his father was right about what Rumple's response would be to his car request but he decided to try anyway.

"Grandpa, I'd really like a car." he began.

"And how are you planning on paying for it?" Rumple asked.

"Well, I was wondering if you would..ah...get it for me."

"Seek employment and we'll talk about it."

"Aw, come on! Not you too!" Henry whined.

"Yes, me too. Did you honestly think you could get me to undermine your parents on this issue? I think not. And don't even bother trying to wheedle Snow and Charming into getting you one either. I'll make you a deal: if you can get a job and I receive good reports from your employer for...let's say six months to start, I'll give you a loan towards the purchase of a car that you can pay back in installments every month. If you miss a payment, I take the car until the payment's made. You miss too may payments and you don't get it back. Deal?"

Henry shook his hand. "Deal."

Henry focused his job search on restaurants and the first place he went to was Granny's.

"I'll start you out as a busser. That means you have to set tables, clean them off, and bring the dirty dishes back here to get washed. If we're backed up in the kitchen you'll be expected to run them through the dishwasher and make sure they're clean and dry before you put them away. I expect you to be doing something your entire shift. I don't pay people to stand around. Nor do I pay them to chit chat with their friends when they come in," Granny said sternly. "If you can flap your gums fast you can move your feet even faster. Aaron, can you come in here, please?"

Aaron was one of the Lost Boys his parents and grandparents brought back from Neverland. Now that he was no longer living in Neverland, he and his fellow Lost Boys were aging normally and the boy was now eighteen and had been working for Granny for two years.

"Aaron is going to be your trainer for your first two weeks. After that, you'll be on your own. Our servers wear uniforms but the bussers need only wear red shirts and black slacks. You can purchase those anywhere. As for shoes, your sneakers will do."

"C'mon Henry," Aaron said and led the boy back to the lunchroom. "Granny has a locker for each of us to keep our stuff in while we're working. You'll have to buy your own padlock though."

"Okay," Henry mumbled. It was a lot to take in but he kept reminding himself that he was doing it to get the car he wanted.

Aaron took him back to the break room and handed him a stack of papers, explaining what each one was. He was also informed he would have to have a drug test done. He was stunned. Surely Granny knew he wasn't involved in that but as his mothers pointed out, as the people of Storybrooke were still adjusting to living in this world, some of them tended to pick up its bad habits as well and there were rumors that kids were getting drugs from Boston or getting high off common household items. The last time his uncle Diego was in Storybrooke he suggested expanding the police force to include a vice unit and offered to train the officers along with Victoria and Julianne.

He filled out as many of the papers as he could but the one called a W-4 confused him. His grandfather asked him to stop by his shop on the way home from work that and he decided he would get Rumple's help filling the complex form out. After he finished, he followed Aaron into the kitchen as the other busser explained where all of the equipment he would use was and how to operate them and then it was time to go out on the floor.

Nearly all of Granny's regular customers were surprised to see Henry actually working a blue collar job when most of his family, especially his father's side was considerably wealthy. When Rumple and Belle walked into the diner, Happy actually asked him about it.

"He's learning responsibility and what it means to work for what you want, not have it handed to you," Rumple explained. "It's how his father grew up, how I grew up and how his mother Emma grew up." When he saw Granny, he asked to meet with her in her office, asking her to send him regular reports on his grandson's job performance. She agreed, pleased that Rumple and the rest of the family was making sure the boy wasn't a spoiled brat unlike most of the other moderately wealthy kids in town.

His first day on the job he learned quickly that some people were worse than pigs and he was having a hard time trying to keep the tables clear of dirty dishes as they were constantly piling up since Granny had her buffet installed. It cut down on the wait time from food from the kitchen but when he saw how much food people stacked on their plates at one time or how many plates they had at one time he had to wonder where they put it all. And they spilled anything and everything on the tabletops. It was not easy to disguise the disgust on his face.

"Oh you think that's bad...wait til you get put on bathroom duty," Aaron was saying whole they loaded the dishes into the dishwasher. "And...believe me, the ladies room can look just as disgusting as the mens' room."

Since he was still a minor, he was only scheduled a short shift but he was exhausted by the time he got home. Thankfully he'd gotten his homework done before he went to work or he would've been rushing to get it done before school the next morning. He stopped by Rumple's shop the next day after school to have him help him fill out the W-4 form.

"You mean I gotta pay taxes?"

"You may not make enough during the year that you'll need to but eventually you'll join the rest of us who have to make our kickbacks to the government and if you aren't paying in enough by the end of the year, you'll be paying a huge kickback. You get taxed three ways...by the state...this town and by the federal government and all of them come out of your paycheck. Then you'll need to start thinking about getting life insurance, medical, dental, vision, starting a 401k...and those get deducted too."

"Holy crap Grandpa, if I get all that taken out in one check, do I have any money left?"

"You should...and if you pay too much in taxes during the year you can get a refund at the end of the year. That's what most people do. Now then, if you budget your money wisely, you should be able to build up a hefty savings for the things you want to do."

He'd been working at the diner a month when he was assigned bathroom duty over the weekend. The other servers and bussers gave him sympathetic looks as he rolled the mop cart into the ladies' room along with the cart that held his cleaning supplies. When he opened the first stall he understood what his coworkers were talking about. It was an absolute mess as it appeared someone either lost control of their bodily functions or just decided to be a smartass. Either way the boy was gagging as he wiped down the walls and scrubbed the commode. Ever since outsiders started coming to their little town, they brought their bad manners and filthy habits with them. The horror only got worse when he went to change the trash, nearly choking on the stench of a dirty diaper...and other things that should have placed somewhere else! When the ladies restroom was clean, he rolled his mop cart into the mens' room and cringed when he saw the mess that awaited him. Someone had clogged one of the commodes with paper towels and the bowl was filled with filth. Also someone had missed the urinal and now there was a puddle of urine on the floor. He managed to get the commode unclogged and the rest of the room cleaned again but he was incensed by what he'd seen. Aaron warned him this was typical of people who came in during the weekend...after they'd been at the bar of course. He said it was usually worse for the overnight shift. When Granny was still in change of the diner it closed at 10 PM. Now that Ruby had taken over, she kept it open all night except for holidays. Profits increased but so did the problems caused by the drunks staggering out of the Rabbit Hole with huge appetites and loud mouths. Henry vowed he would never work an overnight shift in the diner if he could help it.

Except for a few bumps in the road, such as the time he accidentally spilled something on a customer while he was trying to clean the table, overloading the cart and breaking a few dishes, swearing on the floor loud enough for customers to hear and being late once, his grandfather was receiving good reports from Granny about his job performance. When his six month trial period was up, his parents and grandparents took him to purchase his first car. It was an emotional day, mostly for Bae, Emma and Regina as they realized that their little boy was becoming a man. Henry had also taken his grandfather's advice to heart and budgeted his money carefully, making certain he set aside enough to make his loan payments to Rumple as well as have some left over to buy things he wanted or needed and to take Grace out.

Once summer rolled around and it was time to go to Florida, Henry was faced with a decision. He didn't want to leave his job at Granny's because he needed the money to make his loan payment but he also enjoyed spending the summer months in the sun. Ruby assured him that he would still have his job when he returned but she also suggested he try to find a job in Florida as well. There were plenty of restaurants in Juno Beach but most of them served alcohol and he wasn't allowed to work in them until he was twenty-one. He finally decided to work at Dunkin' Doughnuts. It was different and its customers were different but still a learning experience for the teenager.

"I'll tell you what," Miranda Santanna, one of his grandfather Rumple's friends proposed when she was at their summer home one night for dinner, "when you turn eighteen why not spend the year here in Florida and I'll start teaching you the restaurant business at Casa Miranda?"

"That's an excellent idea," Regina said.

"Will you?" Henry asked hopefully.

"Of course. I realize it is a long drive from here to Miami..."

"I don't care. I want to learn."

"It's nice to see a boy born into wealth learning to make his own living," Miranda said to Rumple. "It will also make him a more responsible adult."

"That was the idea, dearie but the credit's not mine. His parents were the ones who pushed him to get a job."

"Hey, we all had to do it...'cept for Regina," Bae said.

"Excuse me? And you think taking care of a horse isn't work?"

Emma laughed. "Picturing you shoveling horse crap...is just hilarious."

"Oh you wait. Catch me at the wrong time and you may find said horse crap on your head!"

Although Henry was starting to miss the excitement he had during his childhood years, he was certain his family would find ways to make his adulthood just as interesting.


	4. Archie's Adventures In Gardenland

Some of these one shots like this one are told in first person.

Chapter Text

I rarely use my magic when I'm tending my garden but the changing weather wreaked havoc with my plants in the spring and summer months. The poor things were either too hot or too cold and needed extra care. Some I needed to bring inside but to do that I had to use a spell Dellia was more skilled at; shrinking.

I waved my hands over the plants I wanted to shrink but a car backfired on the street breaking my concentration and suddenly I was Alice or in this case Archie in Gardenland and too exhausted to reverse the spell myself. I was also feeling a bit like Tony Nelson in that episode of I Dream of Jeannie and did not want to become Stray Cat Lunch.

I couldn't even call Dellia because I left my phone in the house and trying to use it when I was no bigger than an app button on it would be a nightmare. Still I was hoping she would sense something was amiss through our bond and come looking for me.

My garden was now a jungle I had to try to navigate my way through to get somewhere safe until Dellia came home. I could hear some of the flowers laughing at me and yes they do laugh, while I walked by them. I would forgive them this time.

"Are you hungry? You can share my dirt pie," a worm offered.

"Ummm...thanks but I just ate."

"If you change your mind I have that and some dirt roast."

"Maybe later."

"Hey move over! You're blockin the road!"

I suddenly found myself in the middle of an ant traffic jam. There were at least a dozen of them marching along the path I was on carrying crumbs they found either on the sidewalk or by rooting through my trashcan.

"Why don't you guys make two lanes or split up instead of bunching up like that?" I suggested.

"Why don't you mind your own business?"

"Look all I'm saying is you'll get where you're going faster if you make two lines or go in opposite directions."

I felt like my younger brother for moment but I don't recall David ever mentioning whether he worked traffic duty as a cop and if he did I don't know how he managed it if the drivers were as stubborn as these ants.

A few of them started talking and what I said must've sunken in because they formed two lines and started marching in opposite directions. I left them to their business and continued my journey through my garden Amazon wishing my spell shrunk Hendrix for me to drive through it.

"Hey Archie, one of your spells mess up again?"

"Ha ha very funny Otis!"

Otis is a spider who could make a career for himself as a stand up comic if he would take me up on my offer to make him human once in a while but he's happy doing his routines on Friday nights under my windowboxes. Most of his jokes are about the group of flies he calls the Pink Elephants. I guess they got the nickname after they flew into my beer during one of my backyard cookouts this summer and forgot that you don't drink and fly.

"You comin to the show on Friday?"

"Yeah if you make it for after the twins' bedtime."

"I always do. Been workin on new material. And you gotta see the new web! Right up your alley. Psychedelic colors."

"You been stealing Az's thread again?"

"A piece here and there."

"It better BE thread too because if you get me stuck again Dellia is gonna stick you to flypaper!"

"They don't make that stuff anymore do they?"

"She can."

"No thanks. Don't wanna make her mad. Sorry, gotta run. Got lunch waitin in the old web! I'd share but you'd freak out."

"I don't feel like eating flies today. Or any other day for the matter. See you Friday Otis."

Now that my grass was twice my size I had no idea where I was and how close I was to the house and though I was a great shape, magical drain puts as much strain on the body as an actual workout but now was not the time to take a nap.

I spotted one of the bees flying overhead and flagged him down.

"Ummm...would you mind giving me a ride back to the house?"

"What do I look like? Cricket wannabe taxi service? Fly yourself back."

"I would if I could. Come on Benny, it's not like you're doing anything important right now."

"Yeah I am. See ya later," he laughed and flew away.

"Oh yeah, well your honey tastes like crap!" I yelled back. He cursed. "Same to you jerk!"

Benny was the nastiest bee in his hive, so nasty that even the Queen couldn't stand him and sooner or later she was going to toss him out on his butt.

Moments later I heard footsteps and turned around to see my now tiny wife standing beside me.

"Archie, what are you doing?"

"Umm honey, I shrunk myself!" I quipped.

"How many times have I told you not to do that spell unless I'm here?"

"More than I can count but I got distracted by someone's car backfiring. Probably Grumpy's. Needs to have it fixed."

"We need to get back to the house so you can rest."

"Will you be joining me?"

"I...oh you know I can never say no when you look at me like that. I just put the twins down for their nap."

"So Mommy and Daddy will take one too."

She clapped her hands and teleported us back to the house in our normal sizes. Once we were in our room I was so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open but the last image I had before closing them was my Dellia lying beside me, her hand on my chest. I couldn't think of a better ending to my little adventure.


	5. Perfect Enough

Even before he was born, Nathaniel Strogoff Gold was a quiet soul. The time before his birth had been an easy one for Belle as he was not a very active baby and even his birth itself had been quick with very little pain. It seemed that while his eldest sister possessed the devious sides of their parents' personalities, Nathaniel had their more gentle traits. Of course, once in a while his devious side would come out but only if he was upset or he wanted to impress his big sister.

Belle and Rumple, knowing that Nathaniel like Hope was a pure true love child, had no reason to believe there was anything wrong with him. When he was learning to walk, he did stumble a bit and had a tendency to bump into things but so had Hope when she was learning but Nathan, as his parents called him did it all the time. And if either of them was standing right in front of him, Nathan would walk right past them and hug whatever he came face to face with thinking it was one of his parents.

"Belle...I think there's something wrong with his eyes," Rumple said worriedly one day when he reached for his son just before Nathan was about to jump off the sofa.

"It could just be..."

"No, sweetheart, I don't think so. We've been so wrapped up in thinking he's perfect that we've been missing all the signs. It's not just that he bumps into everything or walks right past us when we try to get him to come to us. His hand to eye coordination is off. How many times have we watched him eat and saw that he misses his mouth...it's all the time."

"All right. We'll go have him seen by a doctor."

They took him to a specialist in Boston. The couple waited anxiously while the doctor performed his examination on their son. When he was finished he handed the child back to his father.

"Nathaniel has what is commonly known as crossed eyes or strabismus. Basically while most people's eyes line up at the same time to focus on objects...his do not because the muscles in his eyes are not working together as they should which leads to one eye looking at one thing while the other eye looks at another and confusing his brain. Children tend to ignore what their seeing in their weaker eye because that is the command the brain is sending to them," the doctor explained.

"How did it happen?" Rumple asked calmly while inside he felt that somehow it was his fault...another punishment for his past.

"I'm convinced he was born with it but don't be alarmed. His muscle control issues can be corrected."

"Does he have to have surgery?" Belle asked fearfully. "He's just a baby...only a year old."

"I'd like to try glasses on him first and if that doesn't help to correct the issue then yes, surgery will be needed."

"Oh Rumple," Belle sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Do what needs to be done," Rumple said.

When they returned home Rumple retreated to the basement to spin at his spinning wheel. He was so focused on his work that he didn't notice the wheel was stopped and he looked up to see Belle standing there, frowning. "This is not your fault and it is not a punishment so I want you to stop thinking it right now!" she scolded. He lowered his head. "Rumple...look at me," she pleaded, cupping his chin in her hands. "Not everything can be perfect darling and neither can everyone but Nathan is perfect enough for us. We have to be strong for each other and especially our son."

He stood up and kissed her then followed her upstairs to find their son in the middle of a temper tantrum, his glasses on the floor and his toys thrown everywhere.

"No sooner did you leave that he tore them off and started howling like a banshee on fire," Evangeline explained. "My lord, I expected a fit like this from Hope, not him."

"Nathan, you need to wear these...come on dearie," Rumple said gently catching the boy in his arms and attempting to put the glasses back on. "Nathan...owwww!" he cried when the child bit him in arm and escaped only to be caught by Belle who gave the child a swat that stopped him in his tracks.

"No more biting. It's bad!" Belle scolded gently. The child looked over at his father and burst into tears then hugged him. The child was still learning to talk but his actions often said more than his words, just like his mother.

Later that night as they had during the Christmas season since Hope was born and even before her birth Rumple and Belle would bundle their children and themselves into their warmest clothing and drive around Storybrooke looking at the decorated houses at night. Hope was excited and pointed out everything she could see at each house while her small brother sat in silence. Now that his parents knew the reason for it, it broke their hearts even more for some of the houses were decorated beautifully. It seemed that even with the glasses, Nathan's eyesight showed little improvement and he was scheduled for surgery months later. He didn't dare attempt a magical remedy out of fear of doing worse damage to his precious boy.

"You're going to be all right, dearie," Rumple said softly as he gently kissed his son's cheek shortly after he'd been put to sleep for the surgery. "Mommy and Daddy will be right here when you wake up."

"He's gonna be fine, Papa," Bae assured him while he and Emma sat with them in the waiting room.

"Thank you...for being here. I know you have a lot to do."

"Doctors here can work their own magic, Papa. Nate's going to be okay. He's a strong kid like you and Belle."

Although the surgery process hadn't taken long, their young son's recovery was not so. he had to be closely monitored after the surgery so that he didn't rub his eyes, a habit he had since he was a baby and he fussed when they tried to put his eye drops in so that he didn't develop any infections. There was some improvement in his eyesight after the surgery but he still needed to wear his glasses. Once the child realized he saw better with them, he stopped fussing.

"Nathan, Hope...come on, get your coats on! We're going to see the lights!" Belle called out. It was Christmastime again and several houses in Storybrooke already decorated for the season. "Come on, Daddy's waiting!" she urged. The two toddlers raced down the hall and grabbed their mother's hands. When they got outside their father was already sitting in the driver's seat of the Cadillac with the heater turned on.

"Why we goin' out in the cold?" Nathan asked.

"Cause we're gonna see the lights." Hope answered.

"Huh? Where lights?"

"Daddy's gonna take us to 'em."

"Where lights Daddy?"

"All over Storybrooke, dearie," he said softly.

"They pretty?"

"You'll see," Hope said with a grin.

The first stop they made was to Mifflin Street. Regina and Robin Hood finished decorating the house that morning and turned the lights on as soon as darkness fell. Rumple stopped the car and got out holding Nathan's hand while Belle held Hope's. Hope had been instructed to keep quiet until her brother showed some response to what he was seeing.

"Daddy...lookie...snowman!" Nathan exclaimed, pointing at a light up snowman in the yard.

"Yes..." Rumple croaked as he wept. "There's a snowman in the yard."

"Oooo...tree..." he went on, leading his father over to a lighted tree."See Daddy? Pretty!" He let go of his father's hand then ran over to his mother and Hope. "Mommy, you see the tree?"

"I see it sweetie," Belle murmured, in tears herself.

"You see it?" he asked his sister.

"Uh huh. Can I take him around, Daddy?"

"Yes but you both stay where Mommy and I can see you," he cautioned his daughter.

"I will. C'mon Nate!"

When the children walked away, their overjoyed parents embraced each other while they cried. That was how Regina found them when she opened the door to see who was at her house.

"Rumple, Belle? What's wrong?"

"My boy...he can see your lights now, Regina. He...never could before." Rumple answered hoarsely.

"I didn't know...I'm sorry," she said softly. "That's quite a big secret to keep Rumple. I knew he must've had some sort of eyesight issues when I saw him with glasses and but I had no idea it was that severe. I just assumed that since he was a true love baby he was perfect."

"He's perfect enough for us," Belle said softly and Rumple couldn't agree more.

"Auntie Gina, you got snowman here!" Nathan exclaimed when he and Hope returned. "An a deer, an trees an Santa...an the mean ole Grinch!" he said, indicating an inflatable Grinch.

Regina smiled. "So you like my decorations, Nathan?"

"Uh huh! Pretty!"

"There's more inside too," she said.

"Can we go an see Daddy? Huh? Can we?" Nathan asked.

Rumple smiled as he picked up his excited so. "If Auntie Regina says we can."

"Of course you can. I'll even make some hot chocolate."

"Goody!"

Nathan was racing around the room pointing out every decoration he saw as soon as Rumple set him on his feet inside the house, dragging his older sister behind him. Rumple watched him, smiling softly. Yes, he was perfect enough for them and loved just as much as the rest of his siblings.

Author's Notes: This story is inspired by events in my own childhood as I have the same condition young Nathan does.


	6. Nathan's Special Gift

The summer Hope was five and Nathaniel three Rumple and Belle resumed one of the plans they made when they married: Rumple wanted his beloved wife to see as much of this new world they now called their home as possible. They had already been in England at the request of Diego, only it was to do a little ghostbreaking first. Still, they managed to find some time to do some sightseeing. Belle's Facebook timeline showed post after post of their travels complete with beautiful pictures as well as videos. Rumple had been a bit nervous about being in front of the camera during their first vacation in Florida but now he was used to it. They had at last made the trip to their best friend Fiona's grand castle in Scotland named Ballyloch but before they did, they spent some time in Perth, mostly at the Active Kids Adventure Park. It was during their visit there that the 'D' word had been brought up by both of their children. They wanted a dog. Belle already knew her husband was a dog person after seeing him interact with Pongo and he'd told her he'd gotten to know a sheepdog in the Forest years before. They made a family agreement before leaving Scotland that they would visit the Storybrooke Pet Shelter and find a dog to adopt.

"Well, look who's back!" Charming exclaimed as the family walked into the pet shelter. He'd gone back to work there a year after Emma and Bae's weddng.

"We're here to get a doggie!" Nathan said excitedly.

"Oh, are you? Well, we have plenty of dogs here that need good homes and I know any one you choose will be well taken care of." He looked up at Rumple. "Are you sure you're ready for that, Rumple?"

"Well, I can never say no to my children...or my wife for that matter," he answered. "All right imps, let's go find a dog."

Charming led them to the room where they kept the dogs. Hope and Nathan looked each other sadly as they saw the dogs in cages, not thinking it was fair. The dogs hadn't done anything wrong, they didn't need to be in jail. They wished they could take them all home but their father was firm in his decision that they could only get one dog.

While they were all standing in the middle of the room Charming explained that all of the animals the shelter had taken in came from outside the town line. Rumple wasn't in the least bit surprised by this bit of information. Storybrooke was becoming a safe haven for all sorts of beings now. Belle was horrified as she looked at some of the dogs and saw that they showed signs of being mistreated. Charming pulled her and Rumple aside and informed them of some of the things he'd seen that disturbed him.

Something strange was happening to Nathan. He could hear dozens of voices in his head again as he did at the Adventure Park in Scotland and sometimes when he passed Archie and Pongo on the street but didn't know where they were coming from. They weren't coming from his parents, sister or Uncle Charming...he knew that at least.

Please don't think that just because we're in cages, we're not happy here. Charming and his assistants take good care of us. And we'd all like to go home with you but I'm sure there are other people who can take us to their homes too...we'd just have to visit you.

"Huh?" Nathan asked allowed. "Who's talking to me?"

Look over here...in the corner by the door.

Nathan could see a chocolate labrador in a cage by the door as the voice indicated.

"You...you're talking to me...in my head?"

Yes. You are a true love child Nathan and all true love children have special gifts. Yours is the ability to communicate with us...the animals. You inherited it from your father...and your mother to some extent. Even when he was under the curse, he was always kind to the animals and learned to communicate with them. Now he has passed the gift onto you.

Nathan sat down in front of the cage. "Do you want to come home with me?" he asked the dog.

I would like to but I'm not meant to, dear child. The pets that are meant to be yours will make themselves known to you.

"You mean I'm gonna have more than one? Daddy only said we could have one."

He will change his mind. Nothing is more important to your father than your happiness and these pets will make your home complete. He will understand and that is why he will change his mind.

"What's your name?"

Hershey.

"Like the candy?"

The Lab barked aloud in response. Like the candy bar.

"Nate, are you talking to the dog?" Hope asked as she approached.

Hello, Hope.

The five year old jumped back. "Nate, did you hear that? He talked to me!"

"Uh-huh. He talks to me too, in here. Says Daddy can do it too." Nathan said, tapping his head. "An he also says they don't feel like they're in jail here 'cause David takes good care of 'em."

"Does he wanna come home with us?"

"He says he's not meant to but others will."

"Daddy said one dog."

"He's gonna change his mind...that's what Hershey thinks."

"Hershey? Like the candy bar?"

"Uh-huh."

They spent a few more minutes with the dog, chatting back and forth, the two children promising Hershey that they would speak to everyone they could to try to find the dog a good home before they moved onto to the next cage. They almost didn't realize there was a dog in there because he was so small but as soon as the brown Chihuahua spotted them he lifted his head and his small tail wagged back and forth in excitement. The dog stood up. Upon closer inspection the two children noticed that the dog's front paws were disfigured yet he seemed to be able to walk with them. He ran over to the front of the cage and stuck his head out between the bars to brush against Nathan's hand.

Hi! I want to play. Will you play with me?

The two children laughed. "Aww he's cute!" Hope giggled. "And look Nate...he gets around real good even if his front paws don't work right!"

I can do all sorts of stuff! I'll show you.

"Why don't your front feet work?" Nathan asked curiously

I was born this way but I can still play. You have any toys? I like toys!

Nathan smiled and waved his hand, a toy bone appearing in it. He stuck the bone into the cage. The dog picked it up with his teeth then set it down, sitting back on his haunches and looking up at the two children. They smiled.

"Daddy, we want this one!" they cried out. Rumple and Belle walked over to the cage.

"Oh, Rumple! Look at his legs! What did they do to him!?" Belle asked in horror.

"He says he was born that way, Mommy," Nathan explained.

"Nathan, does he talk to you?" Rumple asked softly as he kneeled down beside his children.

Hi! I wanna go home with you! Will you let me go home with you, please? I'll be good and I'll make sure no one hurts you. I may be little but I'm real loud and you'll know when someone comes in your house.

Rumple smiled at the small Chihuahua. The dog looked to be no more than a year old but like all animals he had a wisdom beyond his years. He glanced over at Belle. She was already trying to befriend the small dog.

"Do we want this dog to come home with us?" Rumple asked his family.

"Yes!" they all cried in unison.

Rumple waved his hand and the cage unlocked. The dog jumped into Nathan's arms and began licking his face.

Thank you! I told your daddy I'll be good and I'll make sure no one hurts you!

Nathan laughed. "Do you have a name?"

Taco.

"That's the name of a food."

Yeah but I like it. Lucky gave it to me. He's my best friend.

"Rumple, why is Nathan talking to the dog?" Belle asked.

"Because the dog can talk back to him."

"Like Dr. Doolittle?"

Rumple smiled. "Yes, sweetheart. It looks like our boy is going to be Dr. Doolittle. Why are you surprised? He is after all the son of Rumplestiltskin the Beast and Belle the Beauty as well as a true love child. All true love children have special gifts. Nathan must've inherited my ability to talk to animals. Even you can communicate with them to some extent. I noticed that when our cat Lucky came to us in the Dark Castle."

Belle smiled sadly. "What did happen to him?"

"It stayed behind when the curse was cast I'm certain," he said sadly. "And now...he's gone...with the Forest..."

Nathan stood up and walked toward the door.

No! We can't go yet! What about Lucky!? I can't leave without him! Please...I promised him we'd leave together.

Nathan paused. "Daddy, we gotta find Lucky. Taco doesn't want to leave without him!" he cried urgently.

"Taco? You're naming the dog after a food?" Rumple asked with a frown. "And Lucky?"

"Lucky named him that. C'mon Daddy, he promised Lucky they'd leave together and I don't want him to have to break his promise. Please!" Nathan begged, looking up at his father with tear filled eyes and soon the dog, his wife and daughter followed suit. Rumple sighed. He never could say no to any of them when they looked like that.

"All right. Charming, do you know where this Lucky is being kept?" Rumple asked.

"Sure. Follow me." David led them down the hall to the cat cages.

"Lucky's a cat? And he's your friend?" Nathan asked the dog.

Uh-huh. Charming took us from the same place where some of the other pets came from. The people who had us were mean. Charming lets us play together all the time and I told Lucky if we ever had a chance to go to a real home we'd go together.

David led them over to a cage where a grey and white cat lay sleeping.

Lucky! Get up!

What? I'm sleeping.

I found someone to take us home!

The cat opened one eye and found his puppy best friend behind held gently by a small boy. Standing behind him were a little girl and three adults. The cat could sense strong magic coming from the two children and man. It sat up and focused its gaze on the man.

Rumplestiltskin. Long time no see. And I also see you finally came to your senses. About damned time too, you stubborn jackass!

How did you get here? Rumple asked unable to believe his eyes. His old friend had returned to them!

Surely you didn't think humans were the only ones who could cross realms. I just hitched a ride on Hook's ship when he came over with Cora but you weren't ready to see me yet so I went travelling and ran into Taco here.

But...how have you lived this long?

Don't you remember? You touched me with your magic while you were still the Dark One and it gave me a few more lives along with the nine I already went through.

Rumple smiled. "Belle, you won't believe who Lucky really is."

"Who?"

"Our Lucky," he said with a smile.

"What? The same one that we...but how?!"

"Nine lives, dearie...or in his case probably eighteen."

"Daddy, are we gonna take Lucky home too?" Nathan asked hopefully.

"Yes we are."

Taco barked excitedly. Rumple waved his hand and the cage opened. Lucky vanished in a puff of black smoke and appeared in Belle's arms, purring as he rubbed against her.

"Lucky, baby...I've missed you," Belle murmured.

And I've missed you, my beauty. I even missed this stubborn jackass.

"Very funny furball," Rumple muttered his breath.

"He can poof!" Nathan cried.

"How can he poof, Daddy?" Hope asked.

I'm the cat he and your Mommy took care of at the big castle Nathan. He gave me a bit of his magic while he was healing me. I just can't use it to heal Taco. No one can. It would be too painful for him. Besides, he's happy the way he is.

Uh huh. I can still play and now that I have Lucky with me we'll all play together.

As the family was walking out of the animal shelter, Nathan asked to stop at Hershey's cage one more time.

"Thanks Hershey. I'm taking Lucky and Taco home with me, just like you said."

Lucky's been looking for his old mistress and master a long time and Taco just needed a good home so it worked out for both of them.

"I'm still gonna find homes for all of you."

I know you will, the dog said confidently.

When they got to the house, Nathan insisted on carrying Taco because the dog informed him that it was hard on his front paws to walk on anything that wasn't soft and Lucky confirmed this.

You have rugs...I can run on those. You can put me down now, Nate.

"You sure?"

The dog barked in response. Nathan gently set him down on the ground and he started racing around the room. Lucky followed him, sniffing the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Wow...you're really fast, Taco." Nathan conjured the bone again and tossed it. The dog picked it up in its mouth and ran it back to the child, depositing it at his feet.

Throw it again! Lucky, why aren't you playing yet?

This place isn't my castle. Let me get used to it first, okay?

"Your castle, Lucky?" Rumple demanded. "Since when did it become your castle?"

Since I had to put up with your cranky ass.

Would you mind your mouth around my children!? I'm not above washing it out with soap you know.

Bring it on!

Nathan laughed. "Lucky's picking on you, Daddy."

"Oh, I'm used to it. He's got cattitude with a capital C."

And don't you forget it either.

Nathan, Hope and Belle took turns amusing the small chihuahua by playing fetch with him. Finally Lucky got tired of sparring with Rumple and gave in to the dog's demands to play.

"I'm so glad we found Lucky again...and found Taco with him," Belle murmured as she sat beside her husband and watched the children playing with their new pets. "Not many people like to take in disabled animals but I don't understand why. They have as much of a right to be loved as any other."

"Yes they do."

"Daddy, I made a deal with Hershey that I'd find him and the other animals good homes...and I can't break it," Nathan informed his father as he crawled onto his lap. "Can you help me?" he pleaded.

"We do owe him that, don't we little imp? All right. I'm sure we can all come up with something together."

The next day the Strogoff Gold family plus two drove over to the television station. The producers of Storybrooke Tonight were getting used to seeing them. They'd been in the station months ago to do a segment announcing the town wide yard sale that was held to raise money to build the large memorial to the victims of the Great Realm Destruction that now stood in the town square.

"It's a wonderful idea," Sidney Glass said. He divided his time between managing the station and running The Mirror. "We can even put an article in The Mirror. Rumple, do you mind if we do an interview with all of you and get some pictures of Lucky and Taco?"

"No, it'll be fine. That's what Nathan wants to do anyway."

"Uh huh. Cause I promised." Nathan reminded them.

Everyone in Storybrooke tuned in to Storybrooke Tonight because it was the source for information in their town and most of them weren't surprised when they heard they were going to be airing an interview with members of the Strogoff Gold family.

"What is that imp up to now?" Regina muttered while she and Robin Hood sat on the sofa watching the program while Roland sat on the floor in front of them. Sidney Glass was shown talking to three year old Nathan who was holding a Chihuahua puppy in his arms whose front paws were disfigured.

"Nathan, why did you choose to adopt this little guy here?"

"Because I like him. He can still run and play like other doggies. Watch!" Nathan threw a plush bone and set Taco down on his feet. The puppy raced over to the bone, picked it up and brought it back.

"That was very good."

"Uh huh. And he can jump on the couch an chair since they're not too high...we just gotta put a pillow down so he doesn't hurt himself jumping off," Nathan said. "The doctors said they could fix him but he'd have to have his legs broke and all kinda pins put in em and that would hurt! I like him the way he is! I think all animals should have a good home, no matter what they are!" the child said firmly.

"Now who is this?" Sidney asked as he turned the camera on Hope who had Lucky sitting on her lap.

"Lucky. He's Taco's friend. He's different too, see? He's got seven claws on his front feet and four on his back feet." Hope said as she held up the cat's paws to demonstrate.

"And you found both of these pets at the animal shelter?" Sidney asked Belle.

"Yes. We were told they both came from a place where animals were abused. It's appalling. Rumple and I used to take in injured and stray animals all the time, at least until we found them suitable homes back in our country. We'd discussed getting the children a pet before but wanted to wait until they were both old enough to understand the responsibility that comes with it. There are so many animals at the shelter that need a good home and I feel a house is not a home without a pet."

"Mama Gina, Daddy? Can we get a pet?" Roland asked her when the segment ended. "Please!"

"All right...but you heard what Belle said. Having one comes with responsibility."

"I'll take care of it!" the child vowed.

The same thing was happening all over town. Parents were being flooded with requests by their children to adopt a pet and even some of the adults wanted to get one.

A week later while Rumple and Nathan were out for their morning walk they spotted Zelena carrying a cat

"Hi Zee!" Nathan greeted.

"I've got to hand it to you, Nate. Every pet we had in the shelter got adopted," she said proudly. "And I have a familiar I adore, don't I baby?"

Yes you do. Thank you Nate. Zee will be a great mistress.

"All of em? He was curious to see who adoped Hershey and looked around but he couldn't see the Lab anywhere. When they passed the sheriff's office the door opened and Sheriff Wyatt Cain walked out, whistling.

"Hershey! Come on boy!" he called out. The Lab ran out the door and when it saw Nathan it barked excitedly and ran over to him, licking his face.

"I told you I'd find you a good home!" Nathan said to him as he hugged him. "An now you living with my cousin DG and Wyatt so I can see you a lot more!"

Yes you can.

"He's a special boy Rumple," Wyatt murmured.

"Yes he is," Rumple said proudly. "My own Dr. Doolittle."

"You mean he can actually...talk to animals?"

"Knowing who we are Tin Man, how could you doubt it?"

"Sometimes I forget who we are."

"That makes two of us," Rumple agreed, smiling when he saw his son embracing both dogs while they licked his cheeks affectionately.


	7. A Magical Valentine's Day

Rumple found no reason to enjoy Valentine's Day until he was reunited with his true love, Belle. He thought he'd been the only one who didn't enjoy the holiday reserved for lovers until he had a discussion with his in-laws, Fiona and Cattie McDermott. Cattie's daughter Channon was married to his adopted son Diego and Fiona was Cattie's mother, still a very fiesty woman even though she was in her late eighties. Rumple and Belle were paying a visit to the woman at their castle in Scotland called Ballyloch.

"Are you going to Channon's ball, ladies?" he asked them.

"Yes," Cattie answered.

"NO!" Fiona shouted. "I hate Valentine's Day. That damned girl knows that so why in all hell does she even bother inviting me?"

"Mum..." Cattie began.

"Don't you 'Mum' me, girl. I'm not going and that'll be my final word on it!" the elderly woman snapped and stormed back into the castle.

"What was all that about, Cattie?" Belle asked worriedly. "I've never seen Fiona so upset."

"I forgot..." Cattie said sadly.

"Forgot what, dearie," Rumple inquired softly.

"My father...he passed away on Valentine's night. Oh, she may act like she's been around since then but...she hasn't. She tried. The first date she went on was ten years after his death and she cried the whole time. And if Mum doesn't go to the ball, I'm not either because I don't want her to be alone. I...I'm going to go see if she's all right." Cattie stood up and followed her mother back into the castle.

"Oh Rumple, there has to be something we can do!" Belle cried.

He sighed. "What Fiona wants, I can't give her. I can't bring Ian back."

"You're one of the most powerful mages in all the realms, Rumplestiltskin. You've always found a way to make things happen. Maybe there's some sort of magic in your Ozian heritage that can do it. If you remember, your cousin brought DG back from the dead."

"She surrendered part of her life force to do it Belle and that spell only works immediately after death. Ian McDermott has been dead thirty years."

"And when we were in England you made King Richard III and Henry VIII appear in physical form by using Aramon's Talisman," she pointed out. Rumple's help had been called for by his adopted son while he was in England searching for the missing fathers of the children of his two best friends. They were hiding out in Mayford, an ancestral home of the other branch of Channon, Fiona and Cattie's family. The mansion was being haunted by the two former kings of England who had history with the family. Rumple was able to banish Henry VIII from the house but Richard III kept returning, watching over the property and those who stayed there.

"They were ghosts, dearie," he pointed out.

Rumple suspected there was a ghost at Ballyloch as well and this one didn't like him one bit. Twice he felt like someone tried to trip him, someone switched the shower from hot to cold while he was in it, several of his suits had been torn to shreds and his cane disappeared when he seemed to need it the most. It never attacked him when he was with Belle but he expected some kind of prank being pulled on him when he was alone.

He sent Belle to make sure Fiona was feeling better while he went for a walk, taking both Aramon's Talisman and the Strogoff Emerald with him as protection. While he was walking past the lake he felt a sharp kick to his backside that sent him flying into the lake.

"That's it!" he growled when he surfaced, waving his hand over the talisman. "I command you to show yourself!"

"Well, aren't you a sight," he heard a thick Scottish brogue eerily smiliar to his chuckling from the shore behind him. The sorcerer turned his head and gasped in shock when he saw a man who could be his twin standing at the edge of the lake. "Don't just stand there gawking lad, get out of the damned water before ye freeze yer ballocks off."

"Who the hell are you?"

"I might be asking you the same question. Who the hell are you and why are you here with my wife and daughter?"

Now Fiona's fascination with him made perfect sense. Every time she looked at him, she saw her late husband.

"Ian McDermott?"

The other man nodded. "Now that I've answered your question, you'd best be answering mine. Who the hell are you?"

"Rumplestiltskin Strogoff Gold."

"Rum...what? What t'hell kinda name is that?"

"Rumple, why are you all wet...oh my goodness!" Belle gasped as she looked at her husband then Ian McDermott and back to her husband again. Ian McDermott flashed a charming smile at her.

"My name's Ian McDermott. And who would you be?" he asked silkily.

"She's my wife Belle," Rumple grumbled as he crawled out of the lake and pulled Belle to his side protectively.

"Cattie said Fiona admired you so much because you reminded her of her husband, not that he looks exactly like you!" Belle cried. "How is this possible?"

"I have no idea," the sorcerer muttered. "Look, Ian...I don't have that kind of interest in Fiona and Cattie. They're good friends of mine..and my in-laws so would you please stop shredding my clothes, freezing me out in the shower, trying to trip me and hiding my cane? I need it to walk, dammit!"

"I just don't like seeing other men pawing my wife. Never did."

Belle giggled. "She paws him, not the other way around."

Rumple waved his hand over his clothing and dried himself. Ian backed away.

"What are you...a wizard?"

"Yes. How do you think I made you appear in physical form, dearie?"

"I need a drink."

"No, you need to see your wife."

"I do see her...but she doesn't see me," he confessed sadly. "And when I try to touch her...my hands just pass right through her!"

"Now you can touch her," Belle reminded him.

"I'd scare the daylights out of her at her age and possible send her into a heart attack and I don't want to do that."

"Rumple...the spell you used to accelerate Wendy's age...can it be reversed?" Belle inquired of her husband.

"Why?"

She smiled. "Because I think I know how we can get Fiona to go to the ball...and here's how I want to do it."

The two men listened with interest as Belle laid out her plan. Having part of her husband's heart inside her and living with him allowed her to learn a lot more about magic, especially true love's magic. She'd seen what it could do firsthand and unlike the other magic her husband performed, it would not extract a physical price from him.

While Belle hid Ian in their suite at the castle, Rumple teleported back to Storybrooke to borrow Blue's wand and an Ozian spellbook. Ian was close to pacing a hole in the floor by the time Rumple returned with the magical items.

"Are you sure this will work?" Ian asked worriedly.

"Casting it requires a lot of love and belief," Rumple explained. "From you most of all."

"You won't have any trouble with that from me."

Later that night they put their plan into motion. Rumple held the Blue Fairy's wand over Fiona's sleeping form while the Strogoff Emerald glowed around her neck. Ian and Belle watched with amazement as her short silver hair transformed into long, curly red locks. Her body and facial features changed from those of an elderly woman into the beautiful twenty year old woman she'd been in the photograph beside the bed. Ian knelt beside the bed and took her hand in his, cradling it against his cheek.

"She looks just the way she did when I first met her," he murmured.

"She'll only be like this until sunrise the day after Valentine's Day and then you'll go back to being a ghost...until next year or when she finally joins you. I know it's not much..."

"It's enough," Ian said as he looked up with tears in his eyes. "Thank you...both of you."

"Well, let's get you ready for the party," Rumple said as he and Belle led Ian out of the room.

Fiona awoke on Valentine's Day on her husband's side of the bed as she always did, shocked when she saw a nest of long flame red hair fanning about her face. She hadn't worn her hair long since Ian's death and even then it had some silver strands in it. She sat up and screamed when she looked in the mirror above her dressed, seeing her younger self staring back at her.

"Cattie...Cattie!" she cried out. The door flew open and her daughter raced into the room, still the same age as she'd been the night before.

"What...Mum!? Is...Is that you?"

"I...think it's me...oh my god Cattie...what happened...I look like I'm twenty. Is this a dream?" her mother asked frantically.

"Oh I don't think it is. RUMPLESTILTSKIN STROGOFF GOLD YOU GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" she bellowed out into the hallway. A cane was heard tapping on the marble floors and Rumple walked into the room. "What the hell did you do to Mum?" she demanded as she delivered a hard smack to his backside.

"It's part of her Valentine's Day gift," he explained calmly. "I reversed her aging process from the night before Valentine's Day until sunrise the day after. Your mother now looks the way she did years ago."

"Why?"

"It's a surprise, dearie."

"It better be a damned good one lad or I am taking the Bruiser to your ass!" Fiona threatened as she jumped out of bed. "I don't even know why I'm calling you a lad now since I look younger than you!"

"And probably as spicy at that age, weren't you?" he teased.

"You bet I was!" she snapped.

In Rumple and Belle's bedroom Ian chuckled as he listened to his wife's tirade. "Ahhh I missed getting a good tongue lashing from her. I expect I'll be getting one as soon as she sees me."

"I think she'll be so glad to see you that she'll forget everything else," Belle said softly. "You remember what you're supposed to do, don't you?"

He smiled. "I'm reliving the best day of my life. How can I forget?"

Hours later the group minus Ian teleported to the Oasis Club in Miami, Florida. Rumple would bring the ghost himself later. When he walked into the ballroom with the three woman beside him, none of them recognized Fiona at all...except her shellshocked grandchildren when they approached.

"G...Grammy?!" Channon Rivera stammered.

"That's impossible Channon. That's not Fiona. She's twenty if a day," her husband spoke up.

"She looks just like she did in her wedding picture," Diego clarified. "Is it really you?"

"What's this tell you, lad?" Fiona asked as she stepped behind her grandson-in-law and smacked his backside.

"It's you all right, but how...?" Diego asked as he massaged his sore bottom.

"Ask him," she said, pointing at Rumple. "He says its part of my Valentine's Day surprise."

"I reversed the aging process on your grandmother until sunrise tomorrow," Rumple answered.

"Why?"

"You'll see."

"That's all he keeps saying...you'll see," Cattie grumbled. "This better be good because Mum hates today."

Several wives and girlfriends started feeling jealous as their men began to approach Fiona to dance with her. There was no denying she'd been a beauty at age twenty and had a headstrong personality to match.

"Mind if I borrow your partner?" Robin asked Diego.

"I don't but your wife I'm sure does."

Robin laughed. "She'll get over it. Come on, Fiona," he said as he took her hands in his and led her into the next dance.

"When the hell is she going to stop being the center of attention?" Emma hissed to Belle while she danced with every man in the room.

"Right after Rumple starts the second half of her surprise. Emma, please don't be angry. Valentine's Day is difficult for her and all we wanted to do was make her happy."

"What's the big deal?"

"It's the anniversary of our grandfather's death, that's what!" Channon snapped. "Now shut the hell up and let her enjoy herself!"

Finally it was Rumple's turn to dance and he'd changed into his black leather outfit knowing it was her favorite. He bowed gracefully. "Are you ready, my lady?"

She grinned. "I always am when you're dressed like that." She held out her hands for him and he led her back out to the dance floor while Belle looked on with a small smile on her lips. "Your lassie is the only woman in this room who doesn't want to kill me right now."

He chuckled. "Belle's gotten used to having to share me with you and Cattie. Are you having a good time?"

"Oh yes...reminds me of the old days at Ballyloch. Mum used to host big parties and invite anyone who was everyone. Of course if we got a little business that evening, that was even better. People would dance til their feet fell off part of the night then spend the rest of it in bed. Sometimes she held a companion auction just to spice things up a bit."

"A little birdie told me one of those auctions involved you."

She smiled wistfully. "It wasn't supposed to. That was actually the night Ian and I met. One of his mates brought him to Ballyloch to have a good time with one of the girls but he was more interested in getting drunk. I was walking past his table when the lout pulled me onto his lap and tried to kiss me so I smacked him a good one and walked away. Then when the auction started, he brought the whole house to silence when he offered a million pounds for me. Me. Still a virgin. Nothing interesting happened that night...we just talked but I was his from that night on...even if he was married at the time. I'm surprised Belle didn't already tell you this."

"She did. I just wanted to hear your take on it."

"I miss him Rum...I miss him so much."

"I know, dearie. Come on...it's time for your other surprise."

Fiona shook her head. "I can only imagine what's going on in that head of yours."

Belle stepped out into the center of the ballroom, her blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "All right, ladies and gentlemen...as you all know Rumple and I have decided to do something special for Fiona for Valentine's Day. The first part we already did. Right now her aging process has been reversed so that she is twenty years old again. Now then, back in her castle at Ballyloch, her Mum used to have what she called a companion auction. The highest bidder gets to spend the rest of the evening with this lovely lady...what happens is up to her. Shall we start the bidding please?"

"Rum!" Fiona cried.

"A thousand dollars!" Hatter shouted out.

"Two thousand!" Whale added.

"You are both pathetic! Five hundred thousand!" Rumple called out.

"One million pounds!" boomed a male voice similar to Rumple's with a thicker Scottish accent from the back of the room. A collective gasp of shock went up as a man dressed like Rumple and even looked like him made his way through the crowd while Fiona stood still, her hand pressed to her heart.

"D...Daddy?" Cattie croaked.

"No...it can't be," Diego and Channon said in unison.

"Would you repeat your bid sir?" Belle asked.

"You heard me...one million pounds." the man said firmly as he approached Fiona.

"I...Ian..." she moaned, her limbs giving out. Her husband took her into his arms as she fainted.

"What's going on?" Cattie inquired. "Is that...is that my father?"

"It's me, baby," Ian said softly.

"But..you're...you're...dead!"

"I am poppet but Rum is able to keep me in physical form until tomorrow so I can be with you and your mum. After that...I go back to terrorizing any man who tries to lay a finger on you or your mum at Ballyloch."

Cattie sobbed with joy and threw her arms around her father, her children followed suit.

"I was right!" Channon exclaimed. "There was a ghost at Ballyloch! It was you the whole time, Pappy?"

"Why d'ye think every man who had his hands where they weren't wanted had so many accidents?"

"Me included," Rumple muttered.

"You?" Bae laughed. "I would loved to have seen that!"

"Oh, I just bet."

"What did he do to you, Rum?" Cattie asked through her tears.

"Oh, I made him take a spill in the lake."

"That was only the end of it. You destroyed my suits, made me freeze to death in the shower, hid my cane and tried to trip me!" The others laughed. Rumple waved his hand over Fiona and roused her from her unconscious state.

"I...Ian...tell me I'm not dreaming...tell me you're here," she sobbed.

"Does this feel real to you," he said and kissed her.

"You have got to be kidding me! Fiona's husband could be the crocodile's twin! Does he really look like that or was a spell put on him?"

"No, he really looks like that," Cattie confirmed. "Daddy...Mum! Come up for air!"

"Oh, you hush up!" Fiona said, reluctantly breaking their kiss. "I haven't been able to kiss your father in thirty years so I'm making up for lost time." She glanced over at Rumple. "But...I thought you said...you couldn't bring him back."

"He's only here until sunrise tomorrow, Fie. Then he'll go back to what he was...the ghost who puts the fear of God into any male in Ballyloch...until next Valentine's Day or ..." He hesitated to add the last bit hoping it would be a long time before he would have to say goodbye to one of his dearest friends. Knowing her, however, he suspected she'd find some way to come back and haunt him. Fiona reached out and caressed his cheek.

"This is the best Valentine's gift I've had in years. Thank you Rumple."

"It was my pleasure dearie."

"Well Ian...you won the bid...she's yours," Belle spoke up. "What are you going to do with her?"

"Oh I know exactly what I'm doing with her," he said as he stood up. "Channon, lass, where are the bedrooms in this place?"

"Ummm...first staircase to the right, Pappy."

"Now if you'll all excuse me, I'll be taking my wife to bed now. And you bloody perverts can keep your eyes and your hands to yourselves from now on!" he added to the men in the room as he walked out of the room carrying a giggling Fiona.

"Papa, that had to have been one powerful spell for you to do. Why aren't you worn out?" Bae inquired of his father.

"True love's magic doesn't require a price, Bae. Once we found out how difficult today is for Fiona we decided to do something special for her. I already knew I could trap a ghost in physical form using my talisman from the ghosthunting I did in England but reversing Fiona's age was a bit more difficult. She'll go back to her normal age tomorrow but I've found a way to make the spell work every Valentine's Day."

"How?"

"By combining strands of their hair with the hairs of a couple who are already united by true love's magic and have a strong connection to one of them...Rumple and me," Belle explained.

"That is so romantic," Snow said dreamily.

While the others went back to dancing Rumple turned to his wife with the same seductive grin on his lips as Ian had for Fiona earlier. "What do you say we find one of those bedrooms and have our own celebration?" he suggested.

"Lead the way darling," she whispered. He linked her arm in his and escorted her out of the room.

It wasn't long before the rest of the couples started making excuses and finding beds for the night. It was Valentine's Day after all, the only holiday in the world made exclusively for lovers.

Hours later as they lay in each other's arms, Rumple kissed his wife softly on the lips.

"Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart."

"Happy Valentine's Day darling."

In the room beside theirs, Fiona McDermott smiled softly as she curled up beside her sleeping husband. Things would go back to the way the were in the morning but she knew she had something to look forward to next year thanks to her two dearest friends ad a little of true love's magic...to be with the man she loved on that special day...and not even death could separate them again.


	8. Not Your Average Baby Shower

There were times when Bae wondered how his father did it. The moment he found out Emma was expecting their second he was nervous as hell. He hadn't exactly been Father of the Year with Henry but in the three years they'd been reunited he was trying to make up for that. His own father, who made his own mistakes with Bae, showed little signs of being nervous at all when his younger brother and sister were born because he knew what it was like to actually be a parent and the responsibilities it entailed. His daughter would also be part sorceress and part fairy which added to his anxiety since Tinkerbell had gifted her godchild with fae magic. His sister Hope was already getting into mischief with her magic, disappearing from the Disney store and scaring ten years off him the worst of it...so far.

Emma was equally knew she would have plenty of sources for advice from the women of Storybrooke who were mothers, particularly those in their family. She would be raising this child from birth, something she was unable to do with Henry. Belle decided to throw her daughter-in-law a baby shower and invitations were sent out all over town. Soon Storybrooke's shops were crowded with women buying gifts for the expecting mother. They all knew she was having a daughter thanks to Rumple and all the gifts that were purchased were things the women thought would be perfect for a little girl.

While his wife was holding her baby shower for Emma at the house, Rumple was holding his own shower for the father to be at The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille. He opened the pub shortly after Nathan's birth and it tended to attract a much better crowd than the infamous Rabbit Hole. He still owned that vile joint, only going in there when Dove was not available to collect the rent.

Regina was the first guest to arrive at Rumple's Victorian, her arms loaded with bags.

"Good gods Madam Mayor!" Evangeline exclaimed. "It looks like you bought out half the town!"

Regina laughed. "Close enough. Is Emma here yet?"

"Not yet but Belle is waiting in the living room. Chip! Grab Regina's bags and take them into the living room!" she instructed her grandson while Lumiere took Regina's coat and hung it up in the closet. Regina walked into the living room and found Belle sitting on the sofa reading a book. When the younger woman noticed she had company, she quickly marked her place in her book and closed it.

"Hello Belle," Regina greeted. "I know I'm a bit early."

"That's fine. We can just relax until everyone gets here."

"Where's Rumple?"

"Oh they're having a father shower down at the pub."

Regina snorted. "And they'll all come home wasted I'm sure."

"That's when we exile them to the sofa dearie," Belle said with a grin.

"Oh you mean you've actually done that? I'm shocked," Regina gasped.

"Rumple and I have our disagreements like any normal couple and believe me, a sofa exile works every time."

"That it does. Hi Regina," Emma greeted her friend warmly.

"Getting a bit of a bump there I see," Regina said, pointing at Emma's abdomen. Emma smiled and sat down in the recliner across from them. Minutes later the other women started arriving, their arms loaded with gifts for the new mother. She wondered how she and Bae were going to fit all those things into their apartment. It was large enough for them and a new baby but she didn't want too many things piling up in the house as they did in Rumple and Belle's house. Belle was still trying, with little success, to break her husband of his hoarding habit.

"Who did the bouquet of lilies come from? They're beautiful," Az murmured.

"I brought them from one of the best shops down in Miami," Channon said. "I figured they'd be fitting since Emma's already decided to name the baby Lilly."

"I'm naming her after Rumple's mom and Belle, with Mom's approval of course." Emma nodded at Snow, brushing back tears. "Do all women get this...emotional while pregnant a second time? I wasn't when I had Henry. Scared shitless was more like it."

"That...morning sickness...odd cravings...it's different for all of us," Snow spoke up. "I had more anxiety while I was pregnant with you."

"Oh go on and say it...because you didn't know what I was planning," Regina muttered.

"No, we didn't but that's in the past," Snow said, not wating to start a war.

"I was rather calm while I was pregnant with Nathan but with Hope Rumple said I was worse than him sometimes with my temper," Belle said. "I would go from hot to cold in seconds flat. Still, I would do it again."

Every woman in the room who already had a child agreed heartily with that statement.

"Okay, its time for games," Regina announced and asked all the women to go into the dining room. They all started laughing when they found bingo cards at their places. Regina was known as a high roller in Las Vegas and Atlantic City and she thrived on the popularity it brought her. "Now here's the catch: Emma gets half of whatever money prizes you win to purchase items she will need for the baby...but I have an idea she won't need that much," she added with a chuckle.

Down at The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille, most of the tables had been pushed together to form a large one while packages of diapers were stacked on three others. Bae laughed when he saw it. He wouldn't need to buy the things for at least a year...or two.

"Hey Will!" David called out to Will Scarlet. "Tell them to make sure the tv's turned up loud enough for us to hear, will ya? World Series is coming on!"

"They know. Most of us have money on this game." Will said as he sat down beside Cyrus. "Hey! Rumfather! You gonna get off the phone or what?" he yelled over at Rumple.

Rumple was seated at the end of the table with his cellphone on his ear and a notepad in his hand. "You're just in time. Okay that's one hundred on Boston? Okay..talk to you later. Do you mind?" he demanded of Will. "I was conducting business."

"I'm still surprised you weren't a bookie during the curse, Papa." Bae said and laughed. "And I blame you for getting him into it," he added, glancing in Diego's direction.

The former vice detective laughed himself. "As long as he doesn't go assault with a deadly cane on someone for not paying up I'm okay with it and betting on sports is a given, you know that."

"Well I'm not taking any more bets." Rumple informed them, motioning for the server to bring them their drinks. He held up his beer mug. "To Bae and my new granddaughter Lilly!"

"To Bae and Lilly!" the men called out and clinked their mugs together.

"I gotta admit guys, I'm scared half to death. I mean, I wasn't there with Henry and I know it's not gonna be easy." Bae said nervously. "And raising a girl is different from raising a boy."

"Plus she is going to have fairy blood, Bae," his father said. "But you're going to be fine. And don't forget, Emma is probably as nervous as you are, even more so since she's going to be the one giving birth. You are going to her childbirthing classes, aren't you?"

He nodded. "I hope to hell I don't pass out. What good would I be to her if I'm passed out on the floor."

"She'll just zap your ass to wake you up," Diego joked. "Now, before the game starts, let's play a little game." He opened a duffle bag and took out a supply of baby bottles handing them to Rumple, Edgar Navarro, Robin Hood and Cyrus. "Fill these up with what you're drinking to here," he said, pointing to a line on the bottle. "Here's the rules...no biting the nipple, no squeezing bottle...and no magic Pop! The first one with an empty bottle wins."

Rumple scowled. "You actually want me to suck beer out of a baby bottle?!"

"What's the matter? Afraid I'll be done before you even get half done?" Robin challenged.

"Oh we all know you could drink Jack Sparrow under the table," Rumple retorted.

"In his mind, maybe," Robin said and smirked. "Ready to lose again Navarro?"

"Not on your life!"

"Don't count me out, boys." Cyrus said.

"This is going to be hilarious," Bae said and chuckled, taking out his cellphone and setting it to record.

"Okay, on the count of three..start sucking! One...two..three!" Diego yelled. The men grabbed the bottles and got to work while their friends cheered them on.

"Come on Papa! You can do it!" Bae encouraged.

"Show em how it's done Rob!" Little John bellowed.

"Come on Navarro, you gonna let them beat you?" David asked.

"You're falling behind, Cyrus...get your mouth moving!" Will coached. Soon everyone in the bar was hollering at the contestants and pumping their arms up and down.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!"

"Diego, who's winning?" Bae asked, keeping his phone focused on the group while Diego circled them and checked the bottles. Robin was in the lead with Navarro in a close second, Rumple in third and Cyrus in last place. Diego pointed at Robin. The other men started working harder to catch up.

"Okay Robin's our winner!" Diego announced, setting his bottle down. He took the bottles from the other men and leaned down to see how much each had. "Pop comes in second...Navarro third and Cyrus...last."

"What? How did you get past me?" Navarro demanded.

"You were too busy watching Robin that I noticed you slowed down...so I seized my opportunity," Rumple answered.

"Okay, we're gonna do another round and the winner of this round gets to compete against Robin for the prize. Wyatt, Elmer, David and Will, you're up!" Diego informed the spouses of Rumple's cousins, Wyatt Cain and Elmer Gulch and David and Will Scarlet.

"Watch and learn Cyrus!" Will informed his friend as he filled his bottle.

"Ready to lose again, Wyatt," Elmer challenged his former Tin Man partner and current sheriff.

"Not this time El. I got pretty good at drinking contests in the Resistance camps." Wyatt said confidently.

"Make me proud David," Archie said to his brother.

"Okay boys. You know the rules. One...two..three...GO!" Bae shouted while their friends started cheering them on.

"Who's winning, Papa?" Bae asked Rumple who was acting as a referee for the second round.

"Wyatt, Elmer and Will are all too close to tell!" Rumple announced.

"Come on, Molky!" Navarro cried. David was struggling to get even to the halfway point. Diego and Rumple stood behind the three men watching them closely. They still seemed to be head to head until Wyatt pulled his bottle out of his mouth and held it up.

"Awww shit!" Will cursed. His still had a small amount in it as did Elmer's.

"All right, Dad!" Jeb Cain exclaimed.

"Robin, Wyatt...you ready?" Bae asked the two men. They nodded. Diego counted off and the contest began. As with the previous round, the two men were equally matched, forcing Diego and Rumple to strain their eyes to see who was inching ahead. Finally Robin slammed his bottle down on the table.

"Robin Hood is our winner!" Diego declared and pulled a wooden plaque out of his duffle bag, handing it to him. It had a pacifier on it with the words "BIGGEST SUCKER" written on it along with the date. The men burst into laughter.

"Who made that?"

"Marco," Diego replied.

"Game's starting!" the bartender called out. Scraping was heard as all the chairs in the room were turned toward the big screen TV.

Back at Rumple's Victorian the women were back in the living room for the next game. There were several tables set up with dolls from Hope's room on them along with diapers.

"All right...this one is called Sloppy Diaper Relay," Belle explained. "I'm going to split you all up into teams and you'll both have to change the baby's diaper and put a clean one on...before the timer goes off."

"That shouldn't be too hard," Regina said.

Emma smirked and held up a blindfold. "Try doing it blindfolded and no magic from those of you who have it."

"Oh I can diaper a baby blindfolded," Fiona bragged. Cattie giggled.

"She thinks," Regina muttered. She was partnered with Tink and of the two of them Regina had more experience changing diapers. Belle placed an egg timer on the coffee table and sat down while the women walked over to the table. Evangeline blindfolded all of the contestants and set the timer for the expecting mother who would record the event on her phone.

"All right ladies...go!" Evangeline called out.

Emma was giggling as she watched the women stumble over themselves and each other as they tried to diaper their dolls as fast as their opponents. Diapers went flying everywhere and quite a few of them were put in the wrong place, such as the doll's head.

"And our winners are...Fiona and Cattie!" Evangeline announced. The other women removed their blindfolds and glanced over at the last table where the two elderly Scotswomen stood with identical grins on their faces. They'd only used two diapers, one for each partner while the others went through the entire stack.

"How the hell...?" Snow demanded.

"When I say I can diaper a baby blindfolded, I mean I can diaper a baby blindfolded," Fiona boasted. "I may be old but I've still got my wits about me."

Evangeline and Lumiere cleaned up and moved the tables out of the room then started handing each set of partners a roll of toilet paper. Emma laughed.

"They gonna go TP people's houses?" she asked.

"No. The object of this game is that you have to create an outfit for your partner out of the toilet paper...and the most original one wins a prize," Belle explained. "Everybody ready? Go!"

She sat back down and watched the women go to work. Nearly all of them made dresses out of theirs except for DG who used hers to turn Azkadellia into a living mummy and Regina who used hers to make a halter top and thong on Tink. Once all the outfits were done, Emma walked around and studied each one. She thought they were all hilarious but the object was to make something original.

"DG and Az...you win!" she said. "I said original and you gave me original."

"All right!" DG crowed.

Later that night the women were still at Rumple's Victorian but none of them were happy. It was after two AM and the men still hadn't returned from the bar. Finally they could hear voices and looked outside to see the men staggering up the sidewalk, all of them laughing and singing loudly.

"Why don't we get drunk an' screw?

I just bought a waterbed, it's filled up for me an' you

They say you are a snuff queen

Honey, I don't think that's true

So, why don't we get drunk an' screw?"

"In their dreams maybe," DG hissed while Az gave the door a look that was even more terrifying than Regina's Evil Queen one.

"Belle...why's the door locked?" Rumple slurred as he pounded on it. "C'mon sweetheart...lemme in..."

"Oooh is he gonna get it..." DG sang while Belle stalked over to the door and yanked it open.

"Oh, don't worry sweetheart...we'll be right home after the game," Belle said mockingly as she glared at her husband. "Seven hours late and you smell like you crawled out of a damned brewery!"

"Awww...come on...was jus celebratin' being a grandpa again...my boy's gonna have a lil girl...and maybe we can start on another one..." he added, winking at her.

"Oh no! You're not touching me until you're sober! And you'll be sleeping outside!"

"I jus had a drink…or two...or three...Bae...y'know how many? Lost count."

"Dunno," Bae mumbled as he approached Emma. "There's m'girl...havin' my girl..."

"You're just as drunk as your father!" she exclaimed. Her husband was practically hanging onto her. "And you'll be joining him outside too I might add!"

"Deeeelliiiiaaa...wanna go make love in my Chevy van..." Archie crooned to his furious wife.

"You won't be making love to anything until you get that crap out of your system, Commander Ozopov!"

"Hate when you call me that!"

"Too bad!" she retorted. "Outside, cricket!"

"Dottie, how 'bout we go out to the woods..."

"How about you go out in the woods by yourself, Tin Man!"

"Aww have a heart Deege."

"That goes for you too...Daddy!" DG glared at Ambrose.

"As a matter of fact...you'll all be sleeping outside tonight," Regina informed the men.

"Hey, I'm not drunk! Beth!" David protested.

"You know better!" added his wife.

"You're excused but the rest of you are O.U.T!" Regina said firmly.

"Hey...why's he get 'scused?" Charming demanded.

"Because he obviously isn't drunk while you are, moron!" Snow snapped. "Out!"

"Can't make me..." Rumple taunted.

"Oh, can't we? Henry!" Belle called out to her grandson. He emerged from behind Belle with Aramon's Talisman around his neck. The stone was glowing meaning that he'd already used to remove his grandfather's powers temporarily so that no magical chaos could ensue. He'd also cast a binding spell on the other magical men.

"Et tu, Henry?" Bae demanded of his son.

"Sorry Dad," the boy said with a grin and waved his hands conjuring a series of tents out in the yard. "And you won't be allowed back in til they give me permission to release the barrier."

"You wait...you just wait til you get older," Bae mumbled. "You won't be laughing when you get kicked out of the bed."

"Off you go," Henry said with flourish as perfect as his grandfather's Rumple shook his head as he and the rest of the men trekked over to the tents, complaining that their plans for their women for the night had just been ruined by a kid, no one smarting more over it than Bae and Rumple.

While the women slept peacefully, the men had a more difficult time of it. Most of them had terrible hangovers but the worst part was being awakened by people driving past the house honking their horns and laughing at them and the sign that had been put up in the yard by Tink reading: DRUNKEN STUPIDITY= BEDROOM LOCKOUT.

Although there were no more crazy villains running loose, the most prominent families in Storybrooke were still finding ways to liven up the town. People just didn't know what to expect from one day to the next but one thing was for certain, it wasn't boring.


	9. The Spaghetti Incident?

Prompt from The Library Post

Finaqua Palace

Lilly and Archie Strogoff's Estate

Fall, 2019

"Gramma, what're ya doing?" Meredith inquired of Lilly when she walked into the kitchen to find her spreading flour on the table.

"I'm making spaghetti. Want to help me?"

"Why don't you use some from the box?"

"Loki is coming and he likes his spaghetti homemade." Lilly smiled. "That reminds me of a very funny story."

"Oooh I wanna hear this one! You always have funny stories about Loki when you were a kid!"

"I'll tell you while we work. Go wash your hands."

"Okay!"

"I think you remember that Loki taught me how to cook. One of the things he taught me how to make was spaghetti. Now mind you, mine doesn't look like what comes out of box because back then we didn't have all these fancy gadgets, we used what was available. Loki always held my cooking lessons every other Sunday...that's why he comes to dinner every Sunday now. Anyway...I was still learning control over my powers when we had this lesson and what happened that day is known as the spaghetti incident."

"Ummm...Gramma, isn't that the name of an album you have on your phone?"

"Yes," Lilly laughed. "And this story comes to mind every time I listen to it!"

Lilly began rolling her dough while she talked.

Oz (The Outer Zone)

Finaqua Palace

Centuries earlier

"Godfather, what are we making today?" Seven year old Lilly inquired excitedly.

"We are making a dish I've acquired a taste for during my travels." Loki spread some flour on the kitchen table and poured some more into a bowl. "I'll need some eggs or have those chickens been too flighty to lay them?"

"No we have some fresh ones." She handed him three eggs. He cracked them against the side of the bowl.

"Next I'll need water."

She handed him a cup and he began mixing the dough together with his hands.

"Godfather, your hands are all messy!" she laughed.

"Always expect a little mess Lilly," he said while he put the dough on the table."Rolling pin."

She watched in fascination while he rolled the dough out, turning it over several times and sprinkling it with flour.

"Your dough needs to be nice and flat Lilly so you have to put some pressure on the pin and roll in every direction. Sprinkle some flour to keep it from sticking."

Once he had the dough rolled out he washed his hands and summoned a knife, cutting the dough into thin strips. A mischievous smile crossed his lips and the dough strips floated off the table and began to dance, several of them spelling out Lilly's name. She clapped her hands excitedly.

"Let me try Godfather! Please!"

"Your wish is their command, darling!"

She giggled and gestured, all the noodles flying off the table and wrapping around the god leaving only his eyes visible.

"I made you a mummy!" she boasted.

"Yes you did," he chuckled when he released the spell.

He cleaned the noodles with another spell and sent them to a tray while he started cutting another set. Lilly, eager to try another prank waved her hand over the trays he'd finished and they floated out the window. Loki turned around to count how many trays he made and to his horror they were empty.

"Lilly, where are the rest of the noodles?"

"Ummm...out there," she said nervously.

"LOKI, YOU GET US OUT OF HERE NOW!" they heard the Wizard yell.

"Oh I cannot wait to see this little prank, darling!" he laughed and teleported them out to the garden. The Wizard, Glinda and some of their courtiers were bound to the apple trees with the noodles! Glinda was amused, the others were not.

"In a bit of a tight squeeze, are we?" he quipped.

"Very funny! Now let us out!" the Wizard demanded.

Lilly was giggling beside him. "Now they look like mummies too!"

"This is your best one yet," Glinda praised.

"Oh you can give your daughter credit for this one."

"Lilliana!" The Wizard exclaimed. "What will you teach her next?"

Loki grinned. "Any mischief she wants."

"You're impossible Laufeyson!" The Wizard grumbled.

"Oh don't be such a stick in the mud Alexander!" Glinda chided. "You've played your share of pranks.

"Yes I have. But if this was dinner I'm not eating it! It's dirty!"

Loki rolled his eyes. "I should just leave you in there. In fact..."

He waved his hand and everyone but the Wizard vanished.

"Hey! Don't leave me out here! Loki! LOOOKI!"

Finaqua Palace

Fall, 2019

"...So how long did Loki leave Great-Grampa out there?"

"Oh, just until dinner was over and Papa wasn't happy about that because he missed out on a delicious spaghetti dinner!"

"I want to try the trick with the noodles!"

"We can," Lilly grinned. "What do you say we play it on Loki when he arrives. He'll enjoy it."

A few minutes later they heard Archie talking to Loki in the living room. Lilly nodded to Meredith and she waved her hand over the noddles. They floated out of the kitchen.

"Lilly! Loki's trussed up like a mummy with noodles!" Archie exclaimed.

Lilly and Meredith laughed hysterically.

"Get a picture!" she called back.

"I did!"

Lilly and Meredith walked into the living room to see Loki still wrapped in noodles and stuck to the wall, baby Glinda staring at him with wide eyes from her father's arms. Lilly waved her hand and released the spell, her godfather grinning at her.

"Who do I congratulate for this one, darlings?"

"Me!" Meredith admitted.

"So your gramma told you about the spaghetti incident, did she? You do me proud Lilly. Always have so do you, Merri!"

"We gotta teach Lindy when she gets older!"

"Now what are we having for dinner since Loki wore it?" Archie chuckled.

"Spaghetti," Lilly replied. "Merri and I will make more noodles."

"Just don't be trussing me up with them!"

Grandmother and granddaughter grinned at each other.

"You might as well prepare yourself Archie. It's coming. You never know when or where but it's coming!"

"Well with you for a mentor I'm expecting it Loki. Come on. You can play with Lindy while we wait."

"And I have just the thing to entertain her." He gestured and the noodles started dancing and spelling out words, Baby Glinda trying to grab them with her tiny hands. She was having so much fun with them that Loki used his magic to transform them into a plush toy.

"Every time I look at that thing I'm gonna remember seeing you tied up like a mummy!"

"How do you think I feel? Every time I eat spaghetti I see Glinda and half her court tied to apple trees!"

"Any other pranks I should know about?"

"Oh, I have thousands, Archie, thousands!"

And he had two new students he was eager to teach every one.


	10. Come Fly With me

While Emma was at the station Bae stayed at home with their three year old, Lilly. Since she was part sorceress and part fairy by her godmother Tinkerbell's gift, her parents had to watch her closely in case her magic started to manifest itself as it did often with his brother and sister, Hope and Nathaniel. He knew before Lilly was born that it wasn't going to be easy having a magical child; his father already had to deal with quite a few situations, most of them caused by his sister Hope. She had a nasty habit of teleporting or "poofing" when she wasn't supposed to and when she was upset she used her magic to throw things. Nathan rarely used magic on anything except taking care of animals. He was the family's Dr. Doolittle. So far they hadn't seen anything unusual with Lilly.

One thing he did notice was that Lilly insisted on watching every movie that featured Disney's version of Tinkerbell, the only exception was Peter Pan. Anything featuring Peter Pan was banned in the Strogoff Gold households for good reason. None of them had fond memories of the real one...he was appropriately named the "Father From Neverhell" by Emma. They never mentioned him to the child at all and made certain she never learned about him. It was better that way.

Lilly was sitting on the living room floor with her dolls scattered around her watching one of the Tinkerbell movies while her father was on the couch. He'd gotten tired of watching those cartoons every day but he didn't dare turn them off and risk his little girl's wrath. She had quite a temper on her when she was angry, just like her parents did.

"Lilly, honey, why don't we go outside? It's nice out."

"I wanna watch this," she wailed.

"It's almost over."

"I wanna fly like Tinkerbell. Like Mommy. Like Miss Blue."

"Honey, Mommy doesn't fly unless she has to and you're too little to fly."

"No I not!" she protested.

"Yes, you are." he said. The end credits to the movie start playing. "Okay, c'mon princess. Let's go outside," he said, scooping his daughter up and carrying her out to the backyard. "What do we want to do? Play hide and seek?"

"I wanna fly!" she cried.

"You can't fly." her father said firmly.

"Yuh huh. All I gotta do is believe...an I can do it!"

"Lilliana Belle Strogoff-Gold, we are not having this discussion. You. Can't. Fly."

"Yes I can!" the girl declared and closed her eyes. To his horror Bae could see tiny wings poking out from behind her back and her hands glowing green with fairy dust in them. She blew on her hand and the dust surrounded him. "We fly Daddy." she said, flapping her wings, her small body rising up in the air, along with his from the fairy dust.

"Lillybelle Strogoff-Gold...put us down! Now!" Bae cried, trying to keep from looking down because if he did he was going to throw up. He hadn't been this terrified since the Shadow first took him to Neverhell so many ago. His daughter was laughing while they flew over the town.

"Daddy, lookie...I see Auntie Gina's house!" Lilly exclaimed, pointing down at the mansion on Mifflin Street while she flew beside him him, her wings flapping.

Don't look, Bae...don't look...don't...oh hell!

"Daddy...why you all white? You look like a ghost."

I'm gonna puke.

"Lilly, please...put us down!" he begged.

"Ooooh...that's pappy's house...an he's outside. PAPPY!" the little girl yelled.

"PAPA...HELP!" Bae screamed.

Rumple looked up in the sky and dropped the flowerpot he was holding when he saw his son and granddaughter in the air, Bae surrounded by fairy dust.

"Bae! What the hell are you doing? Get down!" he yelled and then felt incredibly stupid for saying it when he knew his son couldn't get down or he'd end up a chalkline on the pavement because he was under the control of fairy dust.

"I can't get down!" Bae cried. "Can't you do something? I'm trying to get her to put us down and she won't listen!"

"Pappy, come fly with Daddy and me!" Lilly cried.

"Lillybelle!? Good god...honey...did...did you sprinkle Daddy with fairy dust?"

He got his answer when his little granddaughter blew on her hands and he suddenly found himself surrounded by it and floating up to where his son and granddaughter were.

"Oh great Papa, just great. You were supposed to get her to put us down, not join us!" Bae complained.

"I would try to counteract her magic but I have no idea what kind defense it would throw at me and besides, I won't do a magical attack on my own grandchild!" Rumple exclaimed. "Lillybelle...come on...put us down." he pleaded.

"We go flying, Pappy," she insisted.

"Oh Jesus," Bae moaned.

"All right Lillybelle, I'll make you a deal. Daddy and I wil fly with you if you take us to Tinkerbell or Mommy. Okay?" Rumple suggested.

"Deal, Pappy! I take you to Tinkie. Mommy busy chasin bad guys."

"I hate you right now. You know that," Bae grumbled to his father.

"Now you know what I go through with your brother and sister. Thank the gods they don't fly! Hopefully once we get to the convent she'll put us down. Why Tink ever gifted her with fae powers is beyond me!"

"Hopefully I don't throw up my insides before that!"

"Just...think about something else."

"Yeah...how much trouble she's gonna be in when we get down."

Lilly took her unwilling companions through another arial tour of Storybrooke. As she passed Regina's house again, she called out to the mayor, whom she thought of as an aunt. Regina looked up, shocked to see the child flying along with Rumple and Bae under the control of fairy dust. She laughed and walked over to the garage, calling up to Robin.

"Robin, we've got a beautiful little fairy princess and two unidentified flying morons at five o'clock!"

"Oh, real funny Regina!" Rumple yelled.

"Auntie Gina, wanna fly?" Lilly asked.

"NO!" Bae and Rumple yelled in unison.

"Some other time, honey."

Robin poked his head out the window of his man cave. "What the hell...? Oh my God...I am recording this!" he exclaimed and aimed his cellphone's camera at the trio while they flew past them. Word spread quickly throughout the town and soon there people gathered around looking up at Bae and Rumple and laughing hysterically and oohing and ahhing at how cute Lilly was when she told them she was taking her pappy and daddy flying. They eventually reached the convent. Tinkerbell was outside with her class when one of the students pointed up.

"Lilly! What are you doing?!" she cried.

"I flying an I got Pappy an Daddy to fly with dust!"

Tinkerbell took flight and appeared beside her goddaughter. She waved her wand, breaking the spell of the fairy dust, bringing all of them slowly back down to the ground. Bae raced for the nearest bathroom while Rumple for the nearest bench to rest. He'd been using his magic to try to keep Bae calm and it drained him.

"Lilly Belle Strogoff-Gold, you and I need to have a talk," Tink said firmly.

"Tinkie mad?"

"Tinkie is not happy right now. What did I tell you about flying?"

"I not 'llowed...til I'm older?"

"And did you listen to me?"

"No..." the child said, bowing her head in shame.

"Sweetie...you could've gotten hurt...or you could've gotten Pappy and Daddy hurt. I want you to promise me you won't do that again unless you're given permission. Do you promise?"

"I promise Tinkie."

"Now you need to apologize to Pappy and Daddy."

The little girl shuffled over to where her grandfather was sitting, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "I sorry Pappy...you mad at me?"

"Oh no, sweetheart," he said, picking her up and embracing her. "I'm not mad. But you have to listen to Tinkie, Mommy and Daddy. When they tell you not to do something, don't. Okay."

"Kay. I sorry Daddy." she said when her father sat down beside him. Bae smiled and took her from his father's arms, kissing her small cheek.

"You're forgiven...just...don't do it again..please," he begged.

"Cause you get all white an havta puke?"

"Ummm...yeah..." he said, trying not to laugh. He must've been quite a sight.

Later that evening after Bae put Lilly to bed, he walked into the bedroom to see Emma sitting at the computer laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny...awww come on!" Bae groaned. Sure enough Robin recorded them flying over the town and posted it on their Facebook page for just the Storybrooke residents and their trusted friends to see. Soon the page filled up with comments. Adding insult to injury, someone recorded him making a mad dush for the bathroom at the convent. "Modern technology sucks!"

"Next time I'm taking you flying."

"No way in hell," he growled.

And he had a feeling that this was just the first of many incidents of magical child chaos he had to look forward to.


	11. A Man's Cave is His Castle

One of Bae's favorite projects as an interior designer was building the perfect 'man cave'. Now that he'd established himself in Storybrooke he wanted to introduce his fellow fairy tale counterparts to the concept of the man cave since none of them actually had one, surprising since they'd been living on this side for more than thirty years now. The town itself was still a bit behind the times in many respects but Regina was working on that alongside the town council.

The first thing he did was survey the house he and Emma urchased shortly after their wedding. It was a one story house with five bedrooms although at the moment they only needed four: one for them, one for Henry when he stayed over, one for Lillybelle and the other for guests. The fifth room was unoccupied but filled with nothing but junk, leading to Emma accusing him of having the same hoarding problem his father did until Belle finally broke him of the habit and she did it in a very creative way: forcing him to watch an Extreme Hoarding: Buried Alive marathon then springing the news on him that she was pregnant again so they needed the room anyway. So his father gathered up all his junk and followed his childrens' suggestion that they have a yard sale. It ended up being a townwide yard sale as everyone in Storybrooke followed suit, donating the money raised to finally build the memorial to the victims of the destruction of Nonestica.

Bae desperately wanted to make the fifth room his 'man cave'. Emma wouldn't have it.

"We need that room in case we have another baby. You want a man cave, you put it somewhere else," she said firmly.

His only other choice was to add a second level to the garage where he could have his man cave, enlisting the help of Robin and the Merry Men, who now operated their own construction company called Sherwood Builders. Their first major project had been to build new homes for themselves and all the survivors of the realms falling. Bae helped them learn everything they could about modern building and home design and now they were a success. Regina also had them working on modernizing all of the buildings in town.

"So, Bae, what is this man cave of yours going to have in it? Hopefully a big screen TV so we can watch games," Robin said after the addition was complete and the group of them stood in the newly built room admiring their handiwork.

"No man cave is complete without one, buddy. I'm going to have a kitchen in here too so we can make what we want to eat and of course to keep the beer cold. Plus a pool table and I'm moving all my gaming consoles in here too."

"Any chance you can design one for me?"

"Yeah, we can do that. Now where are you gonna have it? I doubt Regina will let you have a man cave in the house."

"No, she won't. Already told me that when I said you were making one. If I want one, I have to partition the garage. I was doing that anyway to make a workshop but I want a man cave instead."

Bae spent nearly every day going from store to store purchasing items to put in his man cave. While he was in the furniture store he ran into his father.

"Hi Papa. You shopping for the nursery?"

He nodded. "We gave the old furniture to DG and Wyatt a year ago. What are you shopping for?"

"The man cave," Bae answered proudly.

"So that's what you added a level to the garage for! I thought so."

"Next I'm going to help Robin get his done. You should have one too Papa."

"I do...it's the basement."

"No offense, Papa but its not a real man cave. You may have cleaned it out but it still looks like a junk room. Give me a week in there and I'll turn it into a spinning wizard golfer's paradise," Bae proposed.

"You are already busy," his father pointed out.

"I can get man caves done pretty quickly. You'll see. Wait til you see mine."

Word spread quickly that Bae was a man cave expert and he was getting requests to do one for nearly all of the men in Storybrooke. He informed them he would full the requests in the order her got them with Robin's being first, followed by his father's. He was anticpating doing his father's. Finally the day approached when he could reveal the masterpiece that was his own man cave. He hung a sign above the garage that read The Bae Shack.

"This is fantastic mate!" Robin crowed as he and a group of people walked into the room and studied the decor. Instead of one big screen television, there were two, one with his gaming consoles hooked up, the other hooked up to his Chromecast, BluRay player and satellite box for watching sports, TV shows and movies. There was a complete kitchen as he promised with a microwave, stove, refrigerator and deep freezer. He had a series of brown leather chairs set up in front of the first TV the way they would be arranged in a movie theater and black leather gaming chairs lined up in front of the second tv equipped with microphone headsets. He also had a pool table as well as a card table. There were pictures of his favorite sports teams on the walls that he purchased through FatHead as well as a blue neon sign that said The Bae Shack: Always Open For Business as well as a poster listing the rules for the 'cave'.

1\. No whining or bitching, except when our teams lose

2\. Bae controls the remote, no exceptions

3\. No chick flicks and no women's TV stations...EVER!

4\. Toilet seat stays up unless needed to put down

5\. Belching, farting and scratching permitted

6\. Junk food only!

7\. Whatever happens in the man cave, stays in the man cave!

"Wait til you see mine," Robin said. "He was helping me with mine while he finished his."

"Well, Bae, I'm impressed with this bit of magic of yours," Rumple said proudly. Bae smiled. He never got tired of seeing his father being proud of him.

"It looks great Bae," Belle added.

The group walked down to Mifflin Street. Regina was waiting outside, smiling herself.

"Ready to show off your cave?" she asked her husband.

"Of course."

Like Bae, Robin decided to put a sign up for his man cave it read: The Outlaw's Hideout. Several people laughed, remembering Robin's former profession as the Enchanted Forest's resident outlaw and thief. There was a wall length poster on the wall with him dressed in his Enchanted Forest garb with his name on it reading: Robin Hood: Wanted Dead or Alive by order of Queen Regina! Regina had it custom made by Fathead. She also ordered large cutouts of some of his favorite Robin Hoods from the movies and TV. Other items on the walls were his collections of bows and crossbows, including the magical one Rumple returned to him once he arrived in Storybrooke as well as sports memorabilia he and Roland collected. He also liked Bae's idea of having two televisions and had one set up for gaming consoles and the other the movie and sports theater. His man cave also included its own kitchen, pool table, card table and on one of the opposite walls was a dartboard with the Sheriff of Nottingham's picture in the center. They saw each other around town once in a while, glaring at each other mostly. Then everyone looked at the sign listing Robin's cave rules.

1\. Leave your issues at the door!

2\. Entertainment TV goes on what I say it does

3\. Keep the toilet seat up! Unless you need to do something else.

4\. If the smell of gas, the sound of belching or seeing some scratching bothers you, go somewhere else!

5\. This is not a health place, so expect lots of grease, fat, alcohol and smoke

6\. The only bitching permitted will be if our teams lose

7\. What happens here, stays here!

"Okay, now we're going to Papa's!" Bae announced. His father's cave was the one he was the most proud of because it was his biggest challenge. They all headed down to Rumple's Victorian. Hanging over the door to the basement was a sign that read: Rumple's Dark Castle and 19th Hole: Deals and Bets Made, Stress Relieved and Appetites Satisfied.

Rumple's basement had been divided into three portions. The first portion was made into a miniature Dark Castle room with his potions and books lined up on shelves complete with labels as well as his spinning wheel. There was a stone sign on the wall that read: Caution: Wizard At Work: Disturb at Your Own Peril! The door to the Dark Castle portion was similar to the one in his dungeon. They then entered the next room. There were some similarities to Robin and Bae's rooms as Rumple also had full kitchen in his man cave as well as a pool and card table. Regina grinned when she saw a series of video slot machines lined up against one of the walls. All of them had been given a fairy tale name: Rumplestiltskin's Lucky Threads, Beauty's Cups of Cash, Baelfire's Flames of Fortune, The Evil Regal's Reels of Riches, Jiminy Cricket's Wishes and Hope and Nathan's Toybox of Treasures. He also had a small movie theater setup and to no one's surprise there was a punching bag hanging up as well as an assortment of canes, ball bats and sticks on the wall and of course a large paddle with the words Rumple's Bruiser written on it.

1\. All anger issues must be addressed to the punching bag.

2\. You mess it up, you clean it up!

3\. If you don't like my food or beverage choices, bring your own!

4\. All sports wagers must be made prior to game time and payments due after.

5\. No cheating at the poker table!

6\. Take responsibility for your own belching and stench! No blaming the man next to you and blaming the host gets an immediate ban!

7\. What happens here, stays here...and don't think I won't find out if you talk.

There was also a place where his guests could sign and agree to his rules.

The group was then escorted into the third portion of the basement. There were Fathead pictures of some of the world's top golfers on the walls including signed ones from legends like Arnold Palmer that were either given to him by the golfers themselves when he went to see them or he bought them at auctions. He also had a high definition golf simulator that was designed to make the players feel as if they were on an actual course where they could practice their game or compete in online tournaments.

"I need to get one of these. How much did it cost you, Rumple?" Archie asked.

"About 70 grand. You can afford it now," Rumple answered.

"Bae, you mind working on a man cave for me?"

"Not at all. Hippie Golfer Theme?"

"You got it. Plus I need a workroom for my outdoor crafts."

"I want one too!"

All heads turned to DG. When she first came to Storybrooke a lot of people were surprised to see that a woman who was a direct descendant of Dorothy Gale was more of a tomboy and all of the men agreed that she would be one of the few women allowed in a man cave since she acted like one most of the time. Hers would be easy. As well as being an artist, DG was a skilled mechanic and motorcycle enthusiast.

Even the other women were asking for his help to design their own little hideaways since they knew that woman caves were now becoming popular.

Emma chuckled. "You've opened the floodgates, Bae. Lilly and I are never going to see you now."

"I always have time for my girls."


	12. Craft Store SOS

**This story was originally posted on my tumblr blog based off my OUAT/Murder In The First roleplay but rewritten as part of my Gold Chronicles series. It is told in first person as Beth Molk and takes place while she is pregnant with DJ and living in Juno Beach.**

"Honey, can you take me to Michaels please? I just need to pick up a few things." I asked David one morning after breakfast. He was doing most of his work at home now that I was pregnant again and didn't want me driving unless I absolutely needed to.

"Ummm….okay…gimme a few minutes to finish this up." He turned off his laptop and grabbed his wallet off the desk. We drove down to Palm Beach Gardens and I grabbed a cart as soon as I walked in. "Thought you said you just needed a few things."

"Yes, but I want to see what's on sale."

I could almost hear him adding things up in his head while I shopped. He teased me constantly about my spending, wanting to know if he needed to start looking in the want ads for a second job.

Along with my writing I was also doing several crafting projects with my sisters in law to keep me occupied while David was working, our oldest were at tee ball practice and Elsa napping. I started going down each of the aisles looking for things I would need using lists I made on my phone. It was easy for me to lose track of time while I was in the craft store because there were so many things I wanted to buy.

"Beth, the cart's getting full…"

"I just need a few more things."

We were in the aisle with the large wooden letters. I picked up some of them and put them in the cart along with a few other items with my back turned to my husband.

"Let's go down the next aisle," David suggested. Suddenly we heard laughing.

"That sounds like Archie," I said.

"Yeah…uhhh….Archie said he had to pick up something. Here, didn't you say you needed paint?"

"Yes! Thank you honey."

Archie was still laughing a few aisles behind us.

"I wonder what he's laughing at."

"Could be anything knowing him. You get everything you need?"

"Yes."

We started hearing more laughing in the store.

"What the heck is going on in here? Are people on crack?" I asked. Archie approached us grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What's so funny?" I asked him.

"Oh nothing….just this!" He held up his phone. Someone had rearranged the wooden letters in the aisle to spell out WIFE WONT LEAVE.

"Let me guess. You did that." I shook my head. It would be just like him.

"Nope. Wasn't me…this time." He was still grinning.

"Oh, then who was it?"

"Probably just some other guy," David said.

"Really?" Archie handed me his phone and played a video of David rearranging the letters while my back was turned and then trying to get me into the other aisle before he was caught.

"Thanks a LOT Archie!" David groaned.

I leaned against the cart laughing hysterically. "That's a rather unique SOS, Detective!" I joked.

"That's what happens when a husband gets bored at the craft store," he countered with a smirk. "But I'm gonna be paying for it when we get all this added up, won't I?"

"Oh yes."

"Oh boy!" he sighed.

Archie's incriminating photos and video went viral the next day.


	13. A Little Message Mishap

**Prompt featuring the characters from the Mishap series and Storybrooke Two's Belle. Gold Chronicles/Mishap Crossover**

**The story references A Second Little Mishap and A Little Fishing Mishap**

**By CJ Moliere and Snapegirlkmf**

**The United Realms**

**Fall, 2019**

Once their practice merged with the clinics owned by Archie Bordreaux and Jiminy Ozopov, Bae Gold and Archie Hopper from the former Storybrooke Six decided to follow Jiminy and Archie Connor's advice and start seeing patients in their homes. They discovered that their patients enjoyed the less formal setting and those with younger children never needed to worry about a sitter when Belle of Storybrooke Two was willing to offer her services, bringing her own son Gideon to play with them. Having her in the house was also a godsend now that two of his three children were at home with bad colds.

"I'll be in my office most of the day Belle. Would you mind staying until Emma gets home?" he asked her when she arrived that morning.

"Not at all."

"Killian and Aria are in bed. They've got bad colds so you might wanna keep Gideon away from them so he doesn't catch it."

"That won't be easy! He is a Nevenger and will want to see his friends."

"Crap! I forgot about that." He handed her a bottle. "Papa left this for me to give to them every six hours. It tastes like crap but it works."

Belle laughed. "It's a Rumple thing. My ex-husband's potions taste the same but they knock the colds out of me and Gideon faster than any medicine the doctors give me."

He looked around. "Gods this place is a mess! I am so sorry. Emma and I have been so busy we haven't been doing much cleaning!"

"Not to worry. I'll have this house spotless in no time. I cleaned the Dark Castle and believe me that used to take days!"

"Still kinda odd seeing one of you not with a version of my father."

"It just wasn't meant to be Bae but we did try."

"I know. There's still someone in this realm for you. I know there is."

"Are you playing matchmaker Mister Gold?" she teased.

"Blame your other self. She helped get me and Em married and Archie and Selene."

"Well now that I've learned not to base my opinions of a good man on books, I might have better luck. Is there anything else I can do to help out?"

"Taking care of the kids is a big help! Be lucky you didn't have to deal with my dad, Regina and Belle as their younger selves. It was fun but oh gods...I probably drove my father as crazy as they drove me!"

She laughed. "I read those stories! My favorite one was the one where the kids were cooking and made such a mess in the kitchen!"

"Ahhh...the meatball incident. Yeah, we all had a good laugh over that one and I can still see my dad in his little Batman PJs catching me and Emma doing 'the nasty" as my son calls it in the bathroom!" He glanced up at the clock. "My first appointment is in a hour but I want to spend some time with Killian and Aria before then."

She handed him a mask. "You'll need this. No sense in Daddy getting sick."

Bae rapped twice on his youngest son's door to alert the boy to his arrival. Killian huddled under his Loki covers. Once he met both versions of the Norse God he'd become obsessed with having any and all merchandise related to him and his brother Thor. Emma was going to be picking up Thor and Loki Funko dolls at the store on the way home from work and another Ariel doll for their daughter.

"How ya feel buddy?"

"Like crap," Killian grouched. "Hate bein sick."

"I know you do but you're gonna get better soon. Look who came to sit with you today."

"Hey Miss Belle! You bring Gid?"

"Yes I did honey. He's out in the hall."

"Hi Killy!" Gideon yelled.

"Gideon, not so loud. You'll wake Aria."

"Sorry Mummy."

"If I wasn't feeling like crap we'd be doin' Nevenger stuff."

"S'okay. Mummy might let me watch stuff wif ya but I gots to wear a mask so's I don't get sick."

"Long as you don't wear one of those dull blue ones."

"Nuh-uh. Mummy got me Mickey ones!"

"Cool!" He stuck his tongue out when he saw the bottle in Belle's hands. "Yuck! That's Grampa's crap tasting stuff!"

"Yes but you gotta take it to feel better. You don't want to miss any more school, do you?" Bae asked him.

"Nope. The Nevengers are gettin my homework for me so I don't get behind when I go back. Dad, do I really havta stay in bed all day. I wanna go downstairs and watch that new Loki show!"

"You can come down for a little bit but you have to be covered up."

"Okay."

"And you have to wear the mask."

"Awwww!"

"You want your grampa sending the wipey army here?"

"No!"

"Then you wear the mask and keep your hands clean."

"Okay."

Bae ruffled his son's hair. "I'll see you in a little bit, buddy."

"You got patients coming?"

"Yeah, most of the day but I'll be with you during lunch and we can watch one of the Loki show episodes."

Killian nodded. "Glad our Loki decided he wanted a show of his own on our network. Bet the Disney one isn't gonna be as funny!"

"We'll see buddy."

Aria was already awake when they went into her room holding her plush Ariel.

"Daddy I don' feel good," she moaned.

"I know sweetie. Miss Belle is gonna take good care of you while I'm in the office."

She smiled. "Can we watch Beauty An The Beast Miss Belle?"

"We can watch anything you want sweetie. Gideon is here too."

"Oooh, hi Giddy!"

"Hi sweetie!' he called back. Belle and Bae gaped at each other.

"Did...did he just call my daughter 'sweetie'?" Bae sputtered.

"Uh-huh. I like Ria. She's my sweetie," the toddler declared.

"Uh-huh. Daddy, I wanna marry Giddy when I get big."

Belle shrugged. "I'm as surprised as you are Bae. I know they're the same age and all but..."

Bae cleared his throat. "Ahhh...okay, well you guys got a long time for that."

Emma is gonna have a conniption, he thought.

The couple was currently trying to have another baby but Emma had been experiencing some issues that Belle Bordreaux believed might be endometriosis and suggested she visit her ob-gyn Dr. Jo. Emma had her appointment earlier in the week and was waiting for some test results to come back, instructing Dr. Jo's office that if they couldn't reach her, they could leave a message with Bae.

Aria grinned. "I wait Daddy. Can I go downstairs?"

"You can as long as you stay covered up and wear your mask too. We don't want Gid getting sick, do we?"

"Uh-uh or Grampie will come over and make his wipies wipe everything. They weird Daddy!"

Bae had to agree with that statement. His father would summon the disposable wipe army every time he walked into the house and thought it was too dirty. The most recent incident had been a few weeks ago.

"How do you expect to keep the kids healthy when you can't keep the house clean, Baelfire! Dirty houses breed germs and germs lead to sick kids. Either keep up with the housework or hire a housekeeper. There are enough people in the realm now that could do the job!"

He thought about asking Belle but she already had a full schedule as a sitter and helping her counterparts out at the library.

He carried Killian and Aria downstairs and sat with them while Belle made everyone breakfast. Bae intended to cook himself but she insisted he relax and spend time with the children.

"You got a boyfriend yet Miss Belle?' Killian asked her.

"Ummm, no."

"We can help ya find one."

"Killian, don't even think about it!' his father warned.

"Why not? We got Archie and Selene hooked up on Match!"

"And you got lucky on that one! There are a lot of creeps on Match too!"

"There's a coupla things you gotta make sure of...he's gotta have a job, not be a deadbeat, not have any priors with a house and a car."

"Giddy you better get job or you not be my sweetie when we get big!" Aria shook her spoon at her surprised toddler sweetheart.

"I not a deadbeat! Daddy says I gonna own the shop when I get big, so there!" Gideon huffed.

Their parents laughed.

"Dad, the Realms' Match isn't like the outside Match. Creeps ain't allowed on there," Killian reminded his father.

"Belle can find her own boyfriend when she's ready."

An hour later Bae had to go to his office for his first appointment. Belle took the children into the living room and opened the sofa bed Bae and Emma bought recently on a suggestion from the Molks. Their counterparts from the original Storybrooke always had one in their living room.

She turned on the TV and Killian used the remote to change the channel. The familiar strains of the theme song to Legends of Asgard began to play. On screen the show began with the usual starring Loki Laufeyson, Thor Odinson, Miri and Astra Laufeyson, Modi Thorson, and various guest stars from the Norse pantheon and the Realms. Today's episode was called 'Dustbunnies Under the Bed" and featured an exasperated Loki trying to get Miri, Modi, and Astra to clean their rooms.

Killian laughed. "They shoulda got Hope Strogoff to star in this one! She says her dad gets dust bunnies in his office all the time!"

"Mummy says I gotta learn to cwean my room when I get bigger," said Gideon.

The kids giggled as they watched the Laufeyson children try and trick Loki by shoving everything in the closet under a blanket. . . or sweeping the dust under the Persian carpets in the bedroom.

"I did that before and Grampa nearly had a bird. His wipies found it all!"

"If you make our house dirty you cwean it!" Aria informed Gideon.

"Yeah sweetie."

"Wonder how he's gonna get 'em to clean it all up," Killian mused.

"Do they gets to use magic?' Aria wanted to know.

"Doubt it."

Once the children finished hiding their messes the show paused for a commercial.

"Glad we don't have as many commercials as regular TV," Killian mumbled.

"Hey that's Grampa! HIIII GRAMPA!" Aria yelled and waved at the TV when her grandfather appeared on the screen for an ad for his pawnshop.

Killian laughed. "Grampa really hates havin to be in front of the camera but Gramma says his sales doubled now that he's been on TV!"

"Daddy does those too wif Melnie," Gideon said.

The show was back on and Loki reappeared on screen announcing a room inspection while his nephew and children were confident he would never be able to find their messes.

Killian shook his head. "They really oughta know better. He's gonna find it all!"

Sure enough, the God of Mischief located the dust bunnies under the rug in Astra's room. "What's THIS?" he demanded, tapping his boot on the floor and pointing to the dust and dirt. "How did that get there, Astra?"

The toddler shrugged. "Maybe it was born there!"

Loki turned and faced the camera and facepalmed himself.

KIllian, Aria and Gideon laughed.

"That's dumbest one I've ever heard from Astra!" Killian giggled.

Belle pulled the show up on the Realms Network mobile app and took several screenshots of Loki.

She was about to lock her phone when Killian peered over her her arm. "Hey Miss Belle, why you have Loki on your phone screen? You have a crush on him or something?"

"Oh, ahhh...that's the actor who plays him on the outside!" she said quickly. It was, but now her secret was out.

"Yeah, Mummy really likes him," Gideon added.

Belle groaned,

"Uh-oh...lookit! Now it's Modi's turn!" Aria pointed to the TV.

The children watched as Loki entered his nephew's room, the teen confident his deception would not be discovered.

After inspecting the rest of the room Loki walked over to the closet and opened the door. The second he did he was hit full force with a pile of junk!

"Ha ha ha now he's gonna get it!" Killian sang.

"Modi Thorsson, what do you call this?" the god demanded of his nephew, tapping his foot.

"Ummm...ummm..."

"Well?"

"Ummm...stuff."

"Junk is more like it! Whatever you don't use, get rid of it."

Loki watched his nephew like a hawk while he sorted through everything in the closet, bagging up the trash and throwing everything he wasn't using in a small bin.

Loki picked up the bin and held it out so that everyone watching could see what was inside. "These clothes Modi hasn't worn in a while are still in good condition so we're going to donate them to kids that need them."

"Yay!" Aria clapped her hands. "Mister Loki learning how to 'cycle like Mister Bordreaux and Mister Ozopov say we should cause it keeps stuff outta the water and ground."

Meanwhile Bae's patient left the office after their session and made some notes on the session while he waited for the next patient. He'd just finished his notes when the phone rang.

"This is Anne from Doctor Jo's office. Is Deputy Gold available?"

"Ummm no, she's at work. This is her husband."

Bae began writing down the message the office left, having been given permission to do so by Emma but Bae decided he was going to have a little fun with his wife.

He wrote: _Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. Your Pabst Beer was normal. I didn't know you liked Pabst Beer._

He tore the page he'd written the message on and took it out to the kitchen, sticking it on the refrigerator.

"...Miss Belle, can we get some more juice?" Killian asked her.

"Okay but you guys stay right here."

She went into the kitchen and as she was about to open the refrigerator door she saw something written on a Post It and began to read. Seconds later she was leaning against the wall laughing hysterically.

"Hey MIss Belle, what's so funny?" Killian asked when he came into the kitchen.

"Something...something...your dad...wrote to your mom!"

Killian glanced up at the Post It and began to read, frowning. "Ummm Miss Belle, I never heard of no Gyna College and Mom says Pabst Beer tastes like crap!"

Belle was still laughing.

"Mummy, why you laughin? Did Killy make a funny?"

"No Gid I think my dad did."

Belle took a picture of the message on her phone and messaged it to her ex-husband and Melanie

_MelanieMagestrix: OMG! And the kids saw it?_

_They don't know what it means_, Belle typed back.

_RumpleMagestrix: I can just see the looks on their faces now...send that to Rumple. He'll laugh his ass off!_

"Hey Miss Belle you better quit laughin or you're gonna pee yourself and I'm not cleanin it up!" Killian exclaimed.

Belle got the kids their juice and returned to the living room, her phone beeping every few seconds with another notification that someone had seen her message.

"Belle!" she heard Bae laugh when he opened his office door. "Did you post that on Facebook!"

"Ummm...yes..." she giggled.

"Hold on...Em's on the phone."

A puff of white smoke appeared in his office revealing his wife, tears of mirth in her eyes.

"That is one of your best ones Bae!"

She held up her phone showing Belle's Facebook post.

"Thanks babe but look at all these comments!" He scrolled down to show one written by his father.

_And that, dearies is why I NEVER let my son take MY messages!_

Emma giggled at one from Loki.

_LokiofAsgard: Are you SURE you're not related to me? Sigyn and I nearly wet ourselves laughing!_

_I don't know, _Emma typed back._ I think Belle peed her pants!_

"Hey Mom! I think Miss Belle needs a change of clothes!" they heard their son yell.

"Mummy! You need a pull up?" Gideon scolded.

Emma nearly fell over when she read the next comment, this one from Persephone.

_WickedGodesssoftheUnderworld: Maybe Bae needs to take classes at Gyna College on how to take a message_

"Giddy, you gonna leave me notes that make me laugh?" Aria asked him.

"Uh-huh an ones with little hearts on when Mummy teaches me how."

"I think I need a beer. We got any Pabst in the house?"

Bae laughed. "No but we've got plenty of Coors, Em!"

"Oh my God...I can only imagine what kind of message you'd leave me with a Coors reference in it!"

"Hey Mom, Dad! Mister Glass is on the news with a special report!"

Bae and Emma ran into the living room just as Sidney Glass from the first Storybrooke appeared on the screen from behind his news desk.

"A Facebook post by Belle Gold has people laughing from pawn shop to the palaces in the mountains this morning. Here is a picture of the post."

"Holy crap! It went viral!" Killian exclaimed.

They could hear laughing in the newsroom.

"The post has thousands of likes and the comments keep coming in by the second. Hats off to Bae Gold for our laugh of the day. And now we return to our regularly scheduled program."


	14. Country Club Chaos

**Country Club Chaos **

**I'm alright**

**Nobody worry 'bout me**

**Why you got to gimme a fight?**

**Can't you just let it be?**

**Kenny Loggins – I'm Alright (Main theme from Caddyshack) **

**Author's Notes: Inspired by one of my favorite classic comedy films, Caddyshack and also references some of the events of Seasons 1 and 2 of Murder In The First. **

**The United Realms **

**The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille **

**Fall, 2019 **

It's was guys' night in The United Realms and most of them were gathered at what was considered the biggest hot spot in the realms, The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille, the bar owned by Rumple Strogoff. They were gathered in the main dining room and had pushed all the tables together to form one large one, but it wasn't just United Realms residents that gathered at the bar. Loki Laufeyson was a frequent visitor along with his brother Thor and now their counterparts from the alternate Asgard were stopping in to enjoy the food and drinks and converse with their counterparts and new friends.

"It's storytime boys!" Bae Strogoff announced, slamming his bottle of Michelob Ultra down on the table.

"Please, please please tell me you're finally gonna tell us about the Caddyshack thing! I've been bugging you for months!" his counterpart from the former Storybrooke Six pleaded.

"So have I!" added Bae Laufeyson.

"What Caddyshack thing?" asked Loki Odinson. The other men started laughing.

"How familiar are you with this part of Midgard's culture?" Loki Laufeyson inquired of his counterpart.

"I'm learning. Caddyshack is a movie, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah," his brother laughed and nudged his counterpart. "We watched it last week. You gotta watch it Loki or you're not gonna understand what Bae's talking about."

"How do you know about it?" Bae demanded. Thor scowled.

"Who am I engaged to again?"

"Yeah but Seph wasn't around for that."

"She heard about it!"

"So quit stalling and tell!" ordered Bae Weaver.

Rumple chuckled as he took his seat at the head of the table. "My son acts like he played the lead role in this little incident but at the end of the day the big winners were Archie and me, or Jiminy as the rest of you lot know him."

"We still played our part Papa."

"Oh verra well. I'll gie ye that one."

"Why don't you all tell it?" Loki Laufeyson suggested.

Rumple cleared his throat. "After our Miami and Vegas vacations a good number of us decided to make Juno Beach our home permanently but we'd come back to Storybrooke One for the winter. We were determined to fit in as much as possible so I had the idea that we should join the country club. A few of our friends proposed us for membership at Greenhaven."

"They didn't know it at the time, but Greenhaven has a rather dark history," David Molk spoke up. "In 1982 a girl named Linda Foxworth was found on the golf course raped and strangled. The killer was Peyton Daniels, son of Warren Daniels. You know who he is," he said to his former Storybrooke Six counterpart. That David Molk, now using the name Jasper Knight, snorted.

"Too well. He got the head of the corrupt cops union in the SFPD four freakin years when he should've gotten life. "Warren Daniels was a hotshot attorney in San Francisco who also got that tech giant Eric Blunt off on the murder of his girlfriend, but we got his ass on another murder. Daniels' wife was from a powerful political family that was called the 'Kennedys of Palm Beach.'"

"Holy hell!" Bobby Weaver exclaimed. "Are you telling me YOU were the ones who brought the McCallisters down?"

Edgar Navarro nodded. "And Warren Daniels. The Foxworth murder and another tied to it were our last cases with the cold squad at the Juno Beach PD."

"Had you known the club's history would you have asked to be members?" Archie Bordreaux wanted to know.

"Hell no!" Jiminy and Rumple exclaimed in unison.

"That club was the Bushwood of Juno Beach, so we decided to give it the Bushwood treatment," Bae said with a grin.

**Juno Beach, Florida **

**Summer, 2016**

Although the Strogoff Gold family and their closest friends spent the summer months in Florida, they mostly kept to themselves in the first two years but now that they knew this world was their permanent home, they also knew they would have to try to integrate into society. Rumple started making more contacts through his antique business as did Belle. Bae was already well known in the interior design world and Regina had her circle of gambling friends.

The party that would be travelling to Florida three years later was much larger because it now included Rumple's cousins DG, Azkadellia, Zelena their spouses and friends Ambrose and Tinkerbell, Bae and Emma's daughter Lilly, Cyrus and Alice and Will and Anna. The former genie and his wife were fascinated with the Golds' tales of life in what seemed like a tropical paradise and wanted to experience it themselves as did Anna and Will. Rumple offered to have Cyrus and Alice stay at Avonlea since there was more than enough room to accommodate them in the grand mansion. Regina invited Will and Anastasia to stay at Rocinante.

One of the first families on their street that made an effort to befriend them was the Sullivans. Allison and Gilbert Sullivan were part of the noveaux riche portion of society like the Golds while many others made their money the old-fashioned way: inheriting it. One night while Rumple and Belle were having dinner with them Allison suggested that the couple and their friends and family join the same country club they did, Greenhaven.

"Do they have golf?" Rumple asked. He'd played a primitive form of the sport since his days of living in the Dark Castle by hitting balls into holes he conjured all over the palace. When Belle went to live with him, it nearly drove her insane because she was constantly having to be on the lookout for balls or holes on the floor. He kept asking Regina to build a golf course in Storybrooke and she was still trying to make a place for it without Archie staging another protest at the town hall. Now that outsiders were coming to the town, all the magicians avoided using magic in their presence and the children of the town were well coached to keep their secret.

"Yes, also tennis courts, swimming pools, spas...you name it, we have it. You'll need to be sponsored by another member to get in but we'll be happy to do that and so can our other friends once we introduce you around. I have to warn you though...some of the members can be a bit...snobby." Allison said.

"The worst are Rupert and Phoebe Hallivand and Stewart Morrisey," Gilbert added. "They're what we call 'the old guard'. Inherited money and look down on those of us who actually work for it. Rupert and Morrisey own a huge portion of the club and are not above making someone they don't like miserable until they withdraw their membership, or they get kicked out."

"Oh I've dealt with some difficult beings in my life and a pack of spoiled heirs should be a walk in the park," Rumple said.

"Great. We can go tomorrow if you're not too busy."

"No, I can have Ken run the shop for me." His stepson Jon Darling ran his antique shop in Storybrooke while the former owner helped him run his shop in Florida. Later that night after they got home, Rumple discussed the idea of joining the country club with Bae.

"This place sounds like Bushwood," Bae spoke up.

"Where?" Rumple asked his son.

"Oh, just some place in a movie," Bae replied. His father wasn't a big movie watcher and when he did sit down to watch a movie, it was usually a childrens' one, an action movie or a mystery. He also begrudgingly watched chick flicks with Belle. Thankfully his friends and even his son shared his taste in comedies and could understand him when he referenced one. "I'll even join. It'll give us all a chance to spend some time together. I suck at golf, but they probably have other things to do."

The next day the Golds, Hoppers, Hoods and their friends and relatives set out to Greenhaven. Bae's suspicions about the club being a carbon copy of Bushwood from the movie Caddyshack seemed justified when he could see people staring at them with their noses so high in the air it could've snowed on them. He and his father had gotten used to that back in the Forest when they were poor, but it still made him angry. While he and his father were sitting in the office of one of the owners the Rupert Hallivand, Bae was having a difficult time not asking his father to go Dark One or Rumfather on the man. Hallivand insisted on standing up while he talked to them and his voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

"We are very selective about who we allow to join our club," Hallivand informed them. "And we don't really know all that much about your family except that you stay here three months out of the year."

"My son and I both have successful businesses here and in Maine." Rumple said calmly. "And...we haven't had much time to socialize in the last few years due to some...family issues."

Hallivand didn't seem all that interested in making an effort to be polite, something that stuck in Rumple's craw. His knuckles were gripping the handle of his cane so tightly that they were turning white. All he really wanted to do was swing it and teach this upstart a good lesson in just who he was dealing with and it sure as hell wasn't a simple antiquities dealer. Still, he couldn't let his temper get the best of him. The last thing he needed was to spend another night in a jail cell.

"Yes, well...since you seem to have the support of the Sullivans, I suppose we can propose your membership to the committee."

"Thank you," Rumple said politely. Pompous bastard, he thought as he shook the man's hand, tempted to crush it or just turn him into a snail and crush him under the heel of his shoe. He was trying very hard to keep his former Dark One impulses under control but he wouldn't stand for people insulting him, his family or his friends without being taught a lesson.

He was still fuming when he returned to the room he and Belle had been given at the clubhouse. She was unpacking their things while Hope and Nathan were taking their afternoon nap. Rumple conjured a soundproof dome over the bed where the children were sleeping and tossed his cane in the corner.

"I take it the meeting didn't go well," Belle said softly.

"I cannot stand it when people talk down to me!" he raged. "It makes feel like I'm still that crippled, cowardly spinner and I do not want to feel that way anymore!"

"Darling," Belle placed her hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. "Don't let them make you feel that way," she advised. "The only people whose opinions should matter to you are those of your family and friends...and we love you."

"I know sweetheart but since this is the only world we have to live in now, I want to be accepted because these people know nothing about my past."

"Not at the cost of your own dignity darling," she said.

"Oh, it won't come to that dearie, but I am getting in that club whether that upstart likes it or not."

The senior members were furious when the Golds and their friends had been able to secure enough votes to gain membership into the club.

**The United Realms **

**The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille**

**Fall, 2019**

"…So you got in?" Bae Weaver asked. Bae Strogoff smirked and nodded.

"And that, boys, is when the fun started!"

**Juno Beach, Florida **

**Summer, 2016**

"Henry, do you want to play golf with me today?" Rumple asked his grandson.

"Sure. Don't I need a bag?"

"No, no. You can use my clubs."

"I wanna go too. See, I have my own stick!" Nathan cried, holding up a gold club and swinging it in front of Henry, who backed away before it hit him.

"Nathan, Nathan, careful with that!" Rumple scolded the toddler gently. "What did I say about swinging your clubs like ball bats?"

"Not supposed to do it," the child answered and lowered the club.

"That's right. And why did I say that?"

"Cause I could hit somebody an hurt 'em."

"Yes. All right, you can play golf with Daddy and Henry."

"Yay!"

"Rumple, are you sure? I can take him with us when Hope and I go to that estate sale," Belle suggested.

"Don't wanna shop. Wanna golf!" Nathan pouted.

"All right but you behave for Daddy."

"I'll be good Mommy." he promised.

"Let's get you dressed in your golf clothes, little imp," Rumple said, picking up his son and setting him down on the bed while he opened the closet and took out the golfing outfit he bought for the boy on a website called The Littlest Golfer which sold clothing and golf equipment for children. Belle had no interest in the game and neither did their daughter but Nathan had been asking to learn how to play after seeing his father putting golf balls into cups back in Storybrooke and it gave Rumple a chance to have some father-son time with his youngest. The outfit consisted of a white hat, khaki shorts and a t-shirt with a picture of a turtle standing in front of a hole with the words Daddy's My Caddie written on it. Once his son was dressed, Rumple picked him up with one arm, held his cane with the other and they left the room, Henry carrying his small uncle's little golf bag.

Adam drove to the front of the clubhouse in the golf cart with Rumple's bag loaded on the back.

"Hi Nathan!" he greeted.

"I gonna golf with Daddy today!" the little boy bragged.

"With him teaching you you'll whomp the butts off the other kids in the club in no time," Adam assured him. "Hop in guys!"

Archie drove up next to them in his own golf cart with Andy. "Oooh I like that shirt Nathan has on. Can I get one Daddy?" Andy asked.

"I'll get you one before we go back to Maine," Archie promised his son and the group drove out to the golf course. Unfortunately, Hallivand and Morrisey were already there when they arrived.

"Mr. Gold, Doctor Hopper, we don't allow anyone under the age of twelve on the golf course," Morrisey informed them as they approached.

"It's not in the rulebook, dearie," Rumple reminded him icily.

"Yes it is."

"Since when?" Archie demanded. "Just now?"

"Your youngest grandchildren cannot be on the golf course," Morrisey reiterated.

"These are our sons!" Rumple said through gritted teeth. "And since this so-called rule is not in writing, we'll have them here on the course if we want to!"

"Daddy, I wanna play golf." Nathan cried.

"You can be quiet," Hallivand barked at the toddler.

"Don't you ever talk to my son like that again!" Rumple threatened.

"Or you'll what?" Hallivand challenged.

Rumple flicked his wrist behind his back and sent an invisible energy blast at the other man, knocking him off his feet. "Oh, lose our footing, did we?" he asked and chuckled as did Henry, Adam, Archie and Andy and Nathan. Hallivand glared at him as he got back on his feet and dusted off his pants, unaware that he had two large grass stains on his backside courtesy of more of Rumple's magic.

"I don't know what you're up to Gold but come hell or high water you and your little band of miscreants will be out of this club before the summer's over!" he snarled, spinning on his heel and walking away with Morrisey at his heels.

"Oh man that was awesome! I don't know how he tripped but it was freaking hilarious!" Adam laughed. "And did you see his as...uhhhh butt...he has two big stains on it!"

"He just had a little accident, that's all. Happens to the worst of us." Rumple said nonchalantly. Nathan, are you ready to play golf now?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay, let's get one of your clubs out and I'll show you how to tee off."

Adam handed the little boy a small club while Rumple took out his and stuck a tee in the ground, placing a golf ball on top of it.

"Okay...now watch Daddy for a second. You swing your club back like this...and then bring it forward and hit the ball," he instructed, demonstrating.

Shit!" Henry cursed when he swung his club and missed again.

Rumple spun around. "Henry Mills Strogoff! Watch your language!" he snapped. "There are toddlers here."

"Sorry Grandpa, I forgot."

"Next time you get a soap mouthwash. I'm not kidding."

"What's 'shit' mean Daddy?" Nathan asked.

"Nathaniel!" Rumple cried. "It's a bad word and your nephew knows better than to be saying it around you!"

"Shit, shit shit!" Andy mimicked. Archie dropped his club and scowled at his six-year-old son.

"Andrew Tyler Ozopov-Hopper, I hear that come out of your mouth one more time and it gets washed out!" Archie warned his son. His son lowered his eyes to the ground.

"Sorry Daddy."

"Has he figured it out yet?" Diego asked Bae while they were playing a few feet away.

"No. " Bae answered, glancing over at his father who was close to having a breakdown.

"Turds!" Henry grumbled when he missed his shot again. Bae and Diego snickered.

"Turds!" Nathan mimicked. Rumple groaned. Did his grandson not remember little pitchers had big ears?

"Turds!" Andy repeated.

Archie slapped his forehead. "Rumple, what on earth..."

"I don't know!"

"Double farts!" Henry called out while his father and uncle laughed hysterically and his grandfather threw his club down and turned around again, hands on his hips.

"Double farts, double farts, double farts," Nathan chanted, swinging his own club and not hitting his ball.

"Aww shiiiiit!" Andy whined.

"Andrew!" his father snapped. The toddler clapped his hands over his mouth.

Henry doubled over laughing.

"Henry! Nathan! Knock it off! And just what is so funny over there?" Rumple demanded of his older sons.

"Ummm...nothing Papa," Bae muttered.

Rumple threw up his hands in frustration. "I'm surrounded by lunatics," he complained. "Come on, Adam lad," he instructed his caddie. "C'mon Nathan." The boys followed him down to the next hole while Bae, Diego and Henry lagged behind laughing. Angelo, Robin and Charming who were playing a few yards away approached them.

"What's going on?" Angelo asked.

"I just did Spaulding's scene from Caddyshack and Grandpa still doesn't get it," Henry explained.

"And he won't either. Doesn't watch stuff like that," Robin reminded them.

"Did you see Nathan and Andy...it was hilarious." Bae said.

"No, we missed it. What did they do?" Charming asked.

"Oh, just mimicking me."

Further down the green they could see Havilland and Morrisey. Suddenly Henry started laughing again.

"I dare one of you to hit them right in the nuts!"

"Oh, come on! Do you really think we're good enough to pull that shot off?" his father demanded.

"Who commands the winds?" his son countered. "Dangerfield did it."

"That was a camera trick! Someone threw that ball and hit Ted Knight!"

"You chickening out, Dad?"

"I'm game!" Robin laughed.

"Oh, what the hell. Go for it," Bae chuckled.

"This I have to see," Diego mumbled and turned his phone's camera on.

"Fore!" Robin and Bae yelled and swung their clubs. As their balls soared through the air Henry gestured and a gust of wind blew them toward the spots where Hallivand and Morissey were standing. Seconds later both men were groaning and clutching their groins.

"Shoulda yelled two!" Bae giggled.

"Daddy, why're they holdin their winkies for?" Nathan asked his father. Rumple shook his head and started walking to the next hole.

"Ewww that's gross! You're not 'sposed to hold your winkie in public!" Andy made a face.

"Which one of you did it?" Hallivand demanded of Archie.

"Did what?"

"Hit us in the groin you bastards, that's what!"

"I didn't do it!" Archie protested.

"Neither did I!" Rumple said angrily. "Look at the evidence, dearies. Those balls are orange. We're using white balls. Accidents happen."

"I'm warning you Gold…." Morrisey growled.

"Warn all you like. We've done nothing wrong. Come along Nate."

"Love to know who pulled off those shots," Adam chuckled.

Up on the hill Henry, Bae, Robin, Diego, Charming and Angelo decided that it was time to out Phase Two of "Annoy The Hell Out of the Snobs" into action. Henry summoned His Ipod and docking station and turned it on, raising the volume as high as he could with his magic.

"_I was alone I never knew what good love could do_

_Then we touched then we sang about the loving things_

_All night all night every night_

_So hold tight hold tight baby hold tight…" _Journey sang while they danced.

Rumple cursed under his breath as he missed the ball a second time, unable to concentrate over the loud music up on the hill.

"Gold! You want to tell your little entourage we have rules about music on the golf course!" Hallivand snapped.

He turned his head and sure enough there were his sons, grandson and Robin standing on the top of the hill with a portable docking station turned up full blast with Journey's Any Way You Want It playing and they were dancing. He groaned, excused himself and started trekking up the hill to where they were all standing. Adam followed close behind chuckling and shaking his head.

"Are you out of your minds? This is a golf course, not a nightclub, now turn that off! You're breaking my concentration, dammit!" he barked. Henry immediately pushed the pause button on the Ipod and lowered the volume on the docking station.

"Sorry Papa. We just felt a little payback was in order for what they did to you and Nathan," Bae explained.

"Oh, I think being dumped on his ass and his nice pants ruined was payback enough," Rumple said and walked away, still shaking his head.

"He STILL doesn't get it!" Charming laughed.

**The United Realms **

**The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille **

**Fall, 2019**

"…After the music prank we decided to cool it for a while," Bae was saying.

"The ball shots were the best!" Jeff Carstairs laughed as he took a swig of his beer. The two Lokis nodded in agreement.

"A couple days later we all decided to go to the clubhouse for dinner and dancing. They were celebrating the club's anniversary. We thought they'd loosen up a little but boy were we wrong!"

"Oh this oughta be good!" Jack Sparrow laughed.

"It is!"

**Juno Beach, Florida **

**Summer, 2016**

"Rum! Belle! Over here," Allison called out, waving her hand high in the air at a large table in the center of the room. She and her friends arranged themselves so there was enough room to accommodate Rumple and his large family. "I was getting worried you weren't going to come," she added once they were all sitting down.

"Well, our wee ones were a bit upset we were going out with them," Rumple confessed.

"Is Hope and Jenny's play date still on for tomorrow?" Belle inquired.

"Of course. And Gil and I would like all of you to spend this weekend with us on our yacht. Have you bought one for yourself yet Rum?"

"I haven't given it much thought since I'm working in the shop most of the week."

"Robin and I already know which one we want," Regina spoke up.

"Great. There are several spaces beside us in the harbor. We'd love to have you as our neighbors there too."

"I've already registered the Bellaggio here," Zelena spoke up, referring to the sailboat she and her husband owned.

She frowned when she saw Rupert and Phoebe Hallivand approaching the table.

"Alison dear, are you hosting a charity dinner?" Phoebe inquired smugly.

"Not this week, no."

"Oh? I thought you were hosting one tonight for your guests."

"Bitch!" Emma hissed her hands clenched into fists. Regina was fighting the urge to roast bitch.

"Putana," Zelena grumbled.

"Really Phoebe, you would think with the allowance Rupert gives you, you could afford some manners," Beth retorted.

"With all the money you have, you could afford another celebrity husband."

"No thanks. I wanted a real man, not one who tries to act like one and sucks at it."

"Phoebe lass, would ye like tae remind us all how ye met Rupert?" Channon asked with a smirk. Everyone except Beth, David and Diego was in shock. Phoebe's face was crimson.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Do I? Ye forget I have pictures…and videos," Channon reminded. "Ye still have that old schoolgirl uniform?"

David nearly choked on his steak.

"Honey!" Beth exclaimed. Archie gestured under the table.

"T…Thanks," he mumbled.

"So, people in glass houses should nae throw stones dearie," Rumple giggled. Phoebe growled and walked away with her equally furious husband in tow.

"Was she really one of your girls?" Regina wanted to know.

"Oh aye. And she was visiting a few of my men before I closed," Channon replied. "Beth's got files on every client I ever had, and she's got my permission to use them if need be."

"A lot of them are high profile," David added. "I'm not thrilled with the idea of having blackmail material on anyone but in their case I'm damn glad of it because Phoebe and some of her other high society friends like making fun of me when Beth and I come to their charity fundraisers." He made a face. "They only do them for the publicity. They don't give a damn about the causes they're supposed to be supporting."

"You gonna eat your fat?" Henry asked Rumple. Bae, Robin, Charming, Diego, Beth, David and DG started laughing.

"What?" Rumple asked, puzzled.

"What's so funny?" Archie asked his brother. David and Beth gaped at him.

"You didn't get that?"

"Get what, Beth?"

"He brags about being up to date on popular culture and he misses a Caddyshack reference?" Beth whispered to her husband. David shrugged.

"Somebody tell the cook this is low grade dog food," Henry complained. "I want a hamburger, no…a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake, I want…."

"You'll get nothing and like it!" Bae exclaimed. Many of the other occupants of the table were laughing so hard they had tears in their eyes.

"Have they all gone mad?" Rumple asked his wife.

"I don't know," she confessed while she sipped her wine.

"Time to liven this funeral parlor up," Bae announced as he, Diego and Robin rose from their chairs and walked over to the bandleader and started talking to him.

"What the hell are they up to now?" Rumple grumbled. The band started playing the opening notes to Earth, Wind and Fire's 'Boogie Wonderland'. Henry snickered then laughter erupted at their table. Rumple buried his face in his hands and shook his head. "They're going to get me committed to a mental hospital. I'm certain of it," he said to Belle while his sons and their significant others and started dancing followed by DG and her very reluctant spouse as did Azkadellia. Beth and David were already on the floor dancing.

"I really don't like disco but I'll dance to it if it annoys the hell out of those stiff asses over there," DG said to Bae.

"Hallivand looks like he's about to explode," Bae said, twirling Emma across the floor. She was still getting used to dancing and Bae's feet had gotten stepped on quite a few times in the process, but he never complained. It wasn't long before everyone else but Rumple and Belle were on their feet. They would dance, just not to that music. When the song was over, he walked over to the band leader.

"Can you play any of Miranda Santanna's songs?"

"We sure can. What would you like to hear?"

"Consume Me," Belle spoke up.

"Now this is real music," Rumple said and gave his wife a come hither look. She smiled and rose to her feet, taking his hand in hers and they moved to the center of the dance floor and began to dance the salsa the way Miranda Santanna taught them years before the first time they visited her restaurant in Miami Beach.

"Is it me, or is it getting hot in here!" Emma exclaimed and started fanning herself. Although her in-laws weren't professional dancers, the passion they felt for each other was reflected in their movements.

"I didn't know Rumple could dance like that!" Regina exclaimed, obviously impressed.

"I wonder who taught him," Robin mused.

"It had to be Miranda. She's the best salsa instructor in Miami," Diego answered.

"And nothing brings out a McDermott's passionate nature than dancing...and sex. It's even better when one comes right after the other." Channon said with a smirk as she watched her cousin and his wife on the dance floor. "People used to say Grammy and Pappy could almost set the floor on fire when they danced. Of course, they ended up going straight to bed afterwards and could've probably burned the castle down with the heat they were giving off. Who wants to bet me Rum and Belle get 'tired' after all that dancing?" she challenged.

"All that will mean is Rumple's age is catching up to him and he'll need to rest up." Regina joked.

"No it won't," Channon argued. "Believe me...every one of us gets like this. They'll be all over each other even before they get to the bedroom. Right, Diego?" she asked her husband.

"Okay. I'm in," Emma said. "How much do you want to bet, Regina?"

"Ummm...twenty I guess. Let's keep it cheap for now," she answered and pulled a twenty dollar bill out of her purse. Emma added hers to the pile as did Robin.

"Double or nothing they start going at it in the elevator!" Diego crowed.

"Rumple?" Regina laughed. "I can't see it. You're on!" She added another twenty to the pile, the others who were joining in follow suit.

Channon giggled. "Oh, she doesn't know our family very well, does she baby?" she asked her husband. He laughed too.

"Now then, who wants spy detail?" Regina asked the group.

At the end up the song, Rumple dipped his wife and brought her back up again, both of them panting as their eyes locked. He didn't know what it was, but his body felt like it had been tossed into a lava pit and his hormones were in overdrive. The only thing he could think about was taking his gorgeous wife to their room and making love to her until they couldn't walk and the look in her eyes was telling him she was as eager to leave as he was. Now that he thought about it, his libido had gotten quite a boost after their visit to Ballyloch and he discovered he was in fact, a mirror image of her late father.

"Hey everybody! Grampa's gonna get laid!"

"Henry!" Archie scolded.

"He's not the only one," David murmured, giving his own wife heated looks.

"Oh, get a room!"

"Where d'ye think we get our passionate streak from? He's our forefather," Channon reminded them, nodding at David.

"I know where I wanna go," Emma leaned over and started whispering in Bae's ear.

"Oh, you're on!" he cried, grabbing her hand and running out of the dining hall as fast as their feet could carry them.

"Robin, you want to get a hole in one the easy way?" Regina asked him. He dropped his wine glass.

"Lead the way Your Majesty!"

**The United Realms**

**The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille **

**Fall, 2019 **

"…After the club incident Hallivand and Morrisey started putting pressure on the other members of the board to vote us out," Rumple was saying.

"But some of the other board members liked how we were livening the place up, so they didn't want to change their votes," Bae added. "The women were another story. They all wanted us out, especially Phoebe because Channon and Beth knew too much about her past."

Loki Laufeyson was smiling. "Oh and I sense you weren't finished with the pranks!"

"Nope. The best was yet to come."

"The Baby Ruth in the pool," Thor announced.

"Hey, I was getting to it!"

"So, get to it!" the other Baes ordered.

**Juno Beach, Florida **

**Summer, 2016**

"Watch this," Bae said and pointed in the direction of the gate when Channon, Emma, Zelena and Regina entered; Channon wearing a lavender bikini, Regina wearing a black bikini, Zelena a green one while Emma wore a red one. Robin, Henry, Angelo and Diego started laughing when most of the men in the pool and sitting around it stopped what they were doing and started staring, Hallivand included. Henry discreetly gestured and Kenny Loggins' Mr. Night began to play on his docking station.

"Your Mona Lisa

She took her smile of gold

Run under the border guard

And put it over on her Romeo…"

"My wife's bosom has gotten us out of quite a few scraps with the Venice police during Carnival," Angelo chuckled.

Phoebe slapped her husband's arm to get his attention, but he ignored her, his eyes following Channon, Emma and Regina as they made their way over to the diving board.

"Mommy, why's all the guys starin at Auntie Channon?" David and Beth's daughter Cami asked. Her mother snickered.

"Cause they think she's hot," her eldest brother replied.

"Jasper!" David dropped the book he was reading.

"Well you stare at Mommy a lot cause you think she's hot."

_She is,_ David thought and picked up his book.

Regina climbed the ladder first and executed a perfect dive into the water. Robin cheered and whistled at her as she swam over to the opposite end of the pool and others soon followed suit. They gave Emma the same reception as she copied Regina's dive perfectly and so did Channon and Zelena.

From his lounge chair on the deck, Rumple lowered his sunglasses down over his eyes, shook his head and went back to playing Go Fish with Nathan and occasionally watching Belle playing with Hope in the pool.

"Now what are they up to?" Archie asked from his chair.

"Damned if I know," he muttered.

Wyatt snorted from his chair. "Need a stable in this place. I'm not the pool loafing type."

"You could've stayed back at the main house," Archie reminded him.

"And have my wife on my ass? No thank you."

"Oh, relax Tin Man," Ambrose said breezily.

"I'll be on your ass later," DG teased.

"Dottie!"

"There are some things a father should not hear!" Ambrose grumbled.

"So don't listen," DG retorted and laughed.

"How did we do?" Emma asked Bae when she walked over to where they were standing.

"Perfect. I swear they could've turned as green as your suit with envy Zelena." Bae said.

"If looks could kill, we'd both be dead," Regina said. "Pheobe Hallivand has been glaring daggers at us since we got out of the pool. "I usually don't do stuff like this, but dammit it was fun just to see the look on that bitch's face!"

"She's just jealous because you're a queen and she's a corpse," Robin said as he wrapped his arm around Regina's shoulders.

"Countess Dracula," Emma joked then she, Zelena, Channon, Robin and Regina retreated to their lounge chairs while Diego excused himself to make a quick trip down to the supermarket.

"Did you get 'em?" Bae inquired of Diego once he returned from his shopping expedition. The other man reached into the shopping bag and pulled out a handful of Baby Ruth candy bars.

"Now how are we going to get them in the pool without anyone seeing us?"

Henry smirked. "Leave that to me." He waved his hand and the candy bars disappeared from his hands and reappeared unwrapped in the pool.

"I still don't see how anyone could mistake those for pieces of shit," Robin mused aloud.

"Oh wait...we're not done yet. Go for it, Henry." Bae encouraged. Henry concentrated and part of the pool water started turning yellow and piles of toilet tissue began to appear.

"Oh my God..." Diego gasped and burst into laughter. "They are gonna flip out!"

"That's the idea," Robin said with a smirk.

"You ready to go swimming, Nathan?" Rumple asked his young son while they stood at the edge of the pool. The little boy shook his head.

"Come on, Nate!" Hope called out to her brother.

"I scared," he whimpered and buried his face in his father's leg.

"Daddy's going to be right here, dearie," Rumple assured the toddler. "And you have your floaties on too. I'm not going to let anything bad happen, okay? We're just going get in and swim to where Mommy and Hope are."

"I don't wanna," Nathan cried.

Hope swam over to the edge of the pool. "Quit being a sissy!"

"Hope Marie!" Rumple scolded his daughter.

"Not a sissy!" Nathan said angrily.

"Then get in!" Hope challenged.

"Hope! Stop antagonizing your brother!" Belle snapped.

Nathan glanced up at his father. "Wanna go in," he said. Rumple picked him up in one arm and gripped the handrail with the other and stepped into the pool. Belle waited a few feet away with Hope at her side.

"See Nate...floaties keep me up and Mommy's right here." Hope assured her brother.

"Let's swim over to Mommy," Rumple suggested, holding his son by his waist as he set him in the water. "Okay...now move your arms and kick your feet."

"Huh?"

"Like this Nate. Watch," Hope said, demonstrating. "You can do it."

"Come to Mommy, Nathan," Belle encouraged, holding out her arms.

The toddler hesitated for a moment before he started imitating his sister.

"That's my good boy," Rumple said proudly. "Come on. Daddy's got you. A little more and we'll get to Mommy."

"Come on Nate!" Hope cheered.

"You hear that, Nathan? Your sister's cheering you on. Keep kicking your feet." Rumple said softly. As soon as the toddler reached his mother, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.

"I swim to Mommy!" Nate said cheerfully.

"Yes you did, sweetie."

"See, I told ya you could do it," Hope taunted. Nathan blew a raspberry at her then his eyes widened when he saw something floating behind his mother's back.

"EWWWW!" he screamed. "There's poop in the pool!"

"Nathan, what are you...oh my God!" Belle cried, pressing her hand to her mouth in horror. "Rumple!"

Ewwww," Hope yelled. "Daddy, somebody's potty backed up in here!"

"What's all the...oh my God!" Rumple groaned when he saw that the water was now yellow and there were several piles of toilet tissue floating in it along with...he didn't even want to think about it. He picked up his daughter and swam over to the steps while Belle followed him holding Nathan.

Archie jumped out of his chair. "Dellia! Get Andy and Amber out of the pool!" he yelled to his wife.

"What's all the commotion...oh my God!"

"Gross!" Andy groaned, holding his nose.

All hell broke loose then. Suddenly everyone was making a beeline for the steps while they screamed. Rumple and Belle threw their things into their tote bags and raced out to their golf cart, her driving them back to the clubhouse while Rumple tried to comfort their terrified children. Now only Bae, Henry, Diego and Robin were left in the pool area, no longer laughing.

Rumple is going to skin all of us when he finds out," Robin muttered. "We scared his little ones half to death."

"Yeah...we better tell him because it'll be worse if we don't," Bae admitted.

"Are they asleep?" Rumple asked when he emerged from the shower later that day. Belle nodded and gestured to their bed where Hope and Nathan were curled up fast asleep after being given a bath. The two children were still terrified they had potty water on them even after a bath so it had taken a bit of their father's magic to put their minds at ease.

"How did that happen, Rumple?"

"I don't know. But I'm sure as hell going to find out," he said angrily as he stormed out of the room and back down to the pool area. It was vacant except for his sons, Robin and Henry. "Why do I get the impression the four of you have some idea what happened here?" he demanded. "Because you have guilt written all over your faces! Now how the hell did you cause the sewer to back up into the pool?"

"It was just a few Baby Ruths, toilet paper and...ummm...a little bit of magic." Henry mumbled.

"What?!" Rumple howled. "You idiots! You scared Hope and Nathan half to death, not to mention Belle and me with a bunch of candy bars and toilet paper?!"

"We didn't know you were in the pool, Papa," Bae said.

"Where did you think I would be, dearie? At my spinning wheel? I know you four have some inside joke going on but it has gone far enough!"

They all lowered their heads in shame, even Robin much to Rumple's surprise. "You're all damned lucky I don't summon up a Bruiser of my own to tan your hides with for this little stunt. Who else is in on it?"

"Just us...this part anyway."

"And where did you get the idea to pull such a disgusting prank?" Rumple interrogated.

"Caddyshack," Henry answered.

"What? You mean one of the caddies gave you that idea?"

"No, it's a movie. Haven't you seen it?" Henry quizzed.

"No, I haven't, fortunately."

"You oughta watch it," Henry suggested.

"I'd better now so I can be prepared for any more stunts ye lot pull!"

**The United Realms**

**The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille **

**Fall, 2019**

"I watched the movie with Belle that night." Rumple was smiling. "Two days later I was told the heads of all our families would have to appear at a board meeting."

"The vote was split right down the middle," Jiminy spoke up. "Half wanted us out, the other half wanted us to stay. It was a case of old versus new money. The younger, new money generation wanted us to stay, the old guard wanted us out. But Rumple had an idea courtesy of Caddyshack that would settle it once and for all…."

"A golf game?" Loki Laufeyson inquired.

"Of course only we weren't playing for money, we were playing for ownership of the club."

"A board of trustees owned the club. Hallivand and Morrisey were the largest shareholders and they were willing to wager their shares, confident they'd beat us in a golf game." Jiminy explained. "They'd taken turns being club champions over the years."

"You could kick their asses with magic," Thor reminded them.

"We could, but we wanted to win the right way. Without magic."

**Juno Beach, Florida **

**Summer, 2016 **

"You….You…what?" Hallivand sputtered.

"You heard me. I challenge you to a golf tournament. You and Morrisey against me and Doctor Ozopov. If you win, we leave. If you lose, you leave and this club is ours. Do we have a deal?"

"Oh, we have a deal!" Hallivand exclaimed and shook his outstretched hand. "Better pack your bags Gold because you and those miscreants you call family will be out of here by the end of the week!"

"Are you out of your mind?" Archie demanded when they were walking back to their cabins that evening. "They've won every club tournament for the last ten years and we're not that good! Or are you suggesting we use magic?"

"No magic. I'm going to have Henry use Aramon's Talisman on us. We're going to win the right way and we have three days to get ready."

Archie sighed. "I'd better tell Dellia I'm going to spending most of my time on the golf course."

True to their word, the two men spent most of the three days leading up to the game practicing and the morning of the game Rumple and Archie had their powers bound through Aramon's Talisman.

Rupert Hallivand felt like he was going to have a stroke when a black BMW convertible with the Rolling Stones's Sympathy For The Devil playing at the maximum volume on the stereo system came towards where he and Stewart Morrisey were standing. Rumple was behind the wheel with Archie in the front passenger seat with Diego, Robin and Henry in the backseat. Then to add insult to injury another convertible pulled up with AC/DC's "Back In Black" playing and Bae was behind the wheel with Emma in the passenger seat and Regina, Belle and Channon in the backseat. The final insult came when Charming pulled up in his own convertible with Snow in the front seat and Roland, Hope, Andy and Nathan in the backseat. Hope was grinning from ear to ear as the song had been her choice because she thought that was what her Daddy and Cousin Archie needed to tell those snobby men they were going to play golf against.

"Are you out of your minds!" he bellowed over the loud music. "This is a golf course, not a parking lot! Now get those cars out of here!"

Rumple pushed his sunglasses down over his eyes and glared at him. "I'll park my car where I damned well please, dearie," he said coldly as he got out of the car. "Since this club is going to be half mine by the end of the day."

"And hell will freeze over!" Hallivand cried. "What the hell! Not another one!"

A motorcycle sped down the course with Metallica's "Seek and Destroy" playing and came to a stop beside Rumple's car. DG giggled as she and Azkadellia removed their helmets.

"Where are the boys?" Bae asked.

"They're coming," DG answered with a smirk and glanced behind her to see Wyatt's truck approaching playing Toby Keith's "Beer For My Horses". Wyatt was driving while Elmer sat in the passenger seat and Jeb, Xenia, and Ambrose rode in the truckbed. DG sauntered up to the driver's window. "You bring the provisions, baby?" she asked her husband. He pointed to the truckbed.

"Right here!" Jeb announced and held up a case of beer.

"You...you...backwards...this is a golf course not a goddamned tailgating party or a parking lot!" Morrisey raged.

"Yeah, well, this is a sports event and we're tailgating!" DG retorted. "So why don't you take your stickassed selves back over there where you belong until the game starts!"

"We're ready!" David and Beth announced, setting up a tent on the green.

"You tell him Deege!" Henry crowed and high-fived her.

"I am going to look forward to throwing all of your asses out of here," Hallivand hissed at Rumple before he and Morrisey walked away to join their own group of friends.

"I hope you didn't just bring alcohol." Rumple said.

"No...just make sure if the kids get something to drink it's out of the blue cooler," Jeb said as he set a large blue beverage cooler down on the grass. "Kids...you have to get your drinks out of here. Okay?" he asked, patting the blue cooler.

"Okay," Hope and Nathan said in unison.

"Oh good, the party's just started!" Anna exclaimed as she approached with John, Michael, Wendy, Zelena, Angelo, Cyrus, Alice, and Will. Will was pulling another cooler along and Cyrus and Alice's hands and arms were loaded with shopping bags full of food. They started setting up more tents beside David and Beth's.

"Keep your eyes open. I wouldn't put it past those bastards to cheat," David informed his former SFPD colleagues.

"We're on it," Hildy Mulligan assured him.

"We gonna do the nose pick bet?" Bae asked his son.

"Do you really think any of these so called 'high class' kids do it?"

"One way to find out. Pick your kid and let's wager!"

"I'm in. How much?" Jeb asked, pulling his wallet out of his jeans.

"You got fifty bucks?"

"I'm a sheriff's deputy. Twenty!"

"Okay pick your kid."

"Diego, what are they betting on?" David asked him.

"Bettin to see which one of those kids picks their noses."

Beth and David started laughing. "I'll watch the grill, you know who to put the money on!" Beth instructed her husband.

"Twenty on Brett Hallivand," David announced, slapping a twenty dollar bill in Bae's hand.

"Hallivand's grandson?"

"Yep."

"Does he do it?"

"Yep."

"Okay, gimme twenty on the Hallivand kid!" Henry announced, thrusting a bill at his father. Soon some of the other men joined in.

"Are ye lot betting whether we win or lose?" Rumple demanded of his son.

"No. On which one of the spoiled rich kids picks their nose. Brett Hallivand is the favorite. You want to place a wager."

Rumple frowned. "I'll pass."

"We gonna double it if he eats it?"

"Hell yeah!"

Soon it was time for the game to start and people started showing up on the course. Rumple and Archie were surprised that there were more people on their side than they'd expected enjoying refreshments from their family members' tents.

Even after all their practicing, Archie and Rumple had three difficult holes and were three points behind Morrisey and Hallivand by the time they reached the twelfth hole. Meanwhile some of the men in the betting poll excused themselves and hid in the bushes to spy on the younger men and boys in Hallivand and Morrisey's camp.

"Okay here goes," David laughed from his hiding place with Bae, Robin, Diego and Henry watching Hallivand's grandson Brett.

"He's not gonna do it!" Bae taunted.

"Come on, come on…" David urged as the boy's finger inched toward his nose.

"He's gonna do it!" Henry chuckled.

"Come on, come on yeah!" David cheered, holding out his hand. Bae slapped a bill in it. "Double or nothing he eats it!"

"Oh come on! We wouldn't get that lucky!" Diego exclaimed.

"He's gonna do it!" Robin laughed.

"Come on…yeah! Pay up Bae!"

"Damn!" Bae added more bills to the growing pile in David's hand. "How'd you know he was gonna do it?"

"Because he did at the last fundraiser Beth and I went to!"

The pressure was on by the time they reached the final hole. If Rumple was able to sink his ball, he and Archie would win the tournament by one point.

"You can do it, Rumple," Archie encouraged. Rumple took a deep breath and swung the club. The ball crept slowly towards the hole, seeming to hover over the rim.

_No, no...come on you son of a bitch!_ he thought angrily tempted to use his magic to force it in only to remember that he'd asked Henry to remove it for the duration of the game. He lowered his head and looked away. Suddenly the crowd behind him started cheering and when he turned back to see what was going on Belle threw herself into his arms.

"You did it, Rumple! You did it!" she cried. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hallivand throw down his golf club and start cursing a blue streak. Morrisey simply shook his head and walked away.

"No, sweetheart, we did it," he said as he they walked over to where Archie stood with his arms full of Az. Rumple held out his hand. "Thank you."

"We're family."

"Well, dearie," Rumple said to Hallivand when he approached him, "We'll be discussing the sale of this club tomorrow morning...in my office."

"Oh, no we won't."

"Oh yes we will because no one breaks a deal with me!" Rumple hissed. "And you'll be wanting to keep this one if you want to continue your fancy lifestyle. You understand me?"

The other man paled. "What time?"

Rumple glanced over at Archie. "Nine sound okay to you, Archie?"

Archie grinned. "Perfect."

Hallivand glared at them and led his wife and their group of friends away.

"Hey everybody. We're all gonna get laid!" Henry announced.

"What was that coming out of your mouth, Henry Mills Gold?" Rumple asked as he spun around to face his grandson while the others started laughing.

"Nothing."

"You want to try that again, dearie?" Rumple asked icily. "And you lot," he said, glaring at his sons, Robin and DG. "Should not be letting him watch R rated movies that he goes around quoting thinking I won't be able to figure it out."

"Oh come on, Papa, it was funny as hell," Bae chuckled. "And besides, you and Archie earned yourselves a victory celebration."

"And," Belle murmured as she snuck up behind her husband and put her arms around his waist, nuzzling his neck. "I have just the celebration in mind. What do you say we go back to the clubhouse and spend the rest of the day in bed?" she whispered. He spun around and drew her into his arms for a kiss.

"That sounds good to me, sweetheart." He looked back at the laughing group. "Not one word!" he warned with a grin, having a good idea what most of them were going to say.

"Ummm…Grandpa, before you go..." Henry waved his hand and the Strogoff Emerald appeared. Rumple took it in his hand. The stone began to glow as it returned his magic back to him. When it stopped, he handed it back to Henry who then restored Archie's magic.

"Thank you Henry," Rumple said and led his wife away.

"Well, what do you say we have a little victory celebration of our own?" Archie asked Az. She held out her hand.

"Lead on darling," she purred. He linked his arm through hers and followed Rumple and Belle back to the clubhouse.

Archie was laughing when he kicked open the door of his and Az's room with her in his arms.

"I can just imagine the looks on Hallivand and Morrisey's faces right now. I can't believe we pulled it off!" he said as he deposited Az on the bed and kissed her.

"I knew you could," Az said confidently. "You fought off armies of rebels. This was a walk in the park."

"I am so proud of you," Belle said softly as she and Rumple lay in their bed in each other's arms.

"I was worried for a minute," Rumple confessed. "Not just for me but for Archie too. This tournament wasn't just about getting back at those people for being rude to us...it was proving to myself that I could win...without magic.

"I know...and you did it the right way. Just like you promised."

Bae, Henry and Diego stepped out into the middle of the course and started imitating the gopher's dance from the movie as they sang the movie's theme song and it wasn't long before the others started joining in.

"I'm alright

Don't nobody worry about me

You got to gimme a fight

Why can't you just let me be …."

**The United Realms **

**The Spinning Wheel Bar and Grille **

**Fall, 2019**

"…What's this gopher dance you're talking about?" Loki Odinson inquired of his counterpart. Loki Laufeyson grinned, waved his hand and shifted into a gopher. He hopped onto the bar and started dancing. Thor gestured and Kenny Loggins' 'I'm Alright' was now playing on the jukebox.

"That looks like fun!" Loki Odinson laughed and turned himself into a gopher, joining his counterpart on the bar while the other men in the bar started singing.

"Some Cinderella kid

Get it up and get you a job

Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip

I'm alright

Nobody worry 'bout me

Why you got to gimme a fight

Can't you just let it be…"


	15. DJ, The Baby Cookie

Because I craved cookies throughout my pregnancy, David and I used to joke that DJ would turn into a baby Cookie Monster and we bought every piece of Cookie Monster merchandise we could lay our hands on. The baby didn't mind it at all. He loved his Cookie plushie and wanted it near his crib so he could see it and God help us if we moved it. I made the mistake of doing just that one morning while I was cleaning and got a full dose of the Molkitude. My five month old baby started screaming the walls down because I put Cookie in the closet while I was running the sweeper, his screams bringing his father running up the stairs like he was chasing a suspect.

"Beth, what's wrong? Why is DJ screaming like that?"

I turned off the sweeper while David took DJ out of his crib and sat down in the rocking chair to sing to him. That usually calmed him down but DJ kept on screaming and flailing his arms and my poor husband was on the verge of losing his hearing and getting a headache.

"I don't know why he's acting up! I just came in here to clean." I opened the closet door and brought out his Cookie plushie. DJ stopped screaming and held out his hands. "You have got to be kidding! He carried on like that because I put Cookie in the closet? I didn't wanna run him over with the sweeper!"

"Well, remember what we went through with Cami over Elsa and Elsa with her Grinch. Our kids are attached to their plushies. We need to get him a smaller one we can keep near the crib so he doesn't fuss when you have to put the big Cookie in the closet."

I took the kids outside to play in the yard while David drove down to the toy store to get a smaller Cookie for DJ's crib. The kids missed their Juno friends and were glad to be back in the small beach town that had been our home for the first two years and some of them weren't even aware there'd been an addition to the family. DJ reveled in all the attention he was getting.

"You think he's gonna be a Cookie Monster?" Diego's son Miguel asked Jasper.

"I dunno. We all have special things we do. Cami, Rory and Elsa are like Elsa from Frozen, me and Dev can do stuff with plants and animals. Maybe DJ is gonna be some kinda shapeshifter. I'd be cool with it."

"It'd be so cool if he was!" his sister Alexis spoke up.

"Yeah I think he'd be a friendly monster like Cookie." Dev said.

"Inch nice monster," Elsa said.

"Yeah when he's got a bigger heart. He's mean when he doesn't," Cami reminded her.

"My Inch nice monster."

"Please God, do not let her make the Grinch come to life," David prayed while we were eating. The kids started having magical lessons with Rumple at the beginning of the summer and he bound some of their magic so that they didn't start performing it when it suited their fancy. Juno Beach and some of the surrounding areas were quickly becoming magic friendly communities as more and more mages and fairy tale characters from David's world and some of the others were moving there. Rumple's goal was to have as many magic friendly communities in the States as possible. We knew having magical children wasn't going to be easy but it didn't make us love them any less. David and I knew the pain of not being accepted all too well and we would never subject our babies to it.

I was still up late one night working on one of several writing projects when I heard DJ crying over the monitor. I'd turned it off in the bedroom so that David could sleep, he'd been on baby duty the night before but when I went into the nursery I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I peered into the crib and saw a blue, fuzzy monster asleep instead of my baby. When I looked again it was DJ in his Cookie jammies. I picked him up, took him over to the changing table and changed his diaper then fed him. And then I saw it again. A blue fuzzy monster in my arms purring like a cat.

"I really do need to quit staying up late. Seeing things," I murmured and put DJ back in his crib.

I didn't mention the incident to David when he woke up the morning, chalking it up to my staying up too late writing.

"Sweetheart, you need to start coming to bed earlier," he pleaded. "I know you wanna get those stories done but staying up too late is gonna leave you exhausted during the day. I'll put you on bed rest first."

"Oh, will you?" I purred.

"You know I will."

I walked him to the door with DJ in my arms and kissed him. "Have a good day honey."

He went back to working at his office in town now that we were back in Juno but he still kept the same part-time hours. Once in a while he would pitch in and help the others work a case but he spent the rest of his time dabbling in his real estate investing hobby. He bought a house in Jupiter that he was renting out and he'd decided to buy the house in the Outer Banks and the realty company already had it booked until September.

David was tired when he got home and decided to lay on the sofa with DJ while his siblings wanted to binge watch old episodes of Inspector Gadget after hearing that their uncle Charlie and I used to watch it every day after school when we were kids. When I came in to tell them dinner was ready I froze in my tracks.

"Mommy, what is it?" Jasper asked worriedly. I pressed my finger to my lips and pointed at the sofa. A blue, fuzzy monster dressed in DJ's jammies lay on David's chest purring like a cat.

"Holy crap!" Dev whispered. "We got a real Cookie Monster!"

I grabbed my phone and took a picture as David opened his eyes and stared at our youngest son.

"Beth, am I seeing…"

"Daddy, DJ's a Baby Cookie!" Cami exclaimed.

"He's purring….like a cat," David murmured, stroking DJ's soft fur. The baby opened his eyes for a minute or two and fell back to sleep. "Maybe we should turn the AC down. He might be cold. One thing's for sure, that fur's gonna come in handy for him when we go back to Pennsylvania for the winter."

DJ stayed in his monster form through dinner. I was half tempted to bake a tray of cookies to see if he could eat them in that form but we didn't want to risk having him choke on them. He wasn't ready for table food yet. David put in a call to Rumple after dinner, Rumple was able to bind some of DJ's magic so that he would only change into his monster form around trusted friends and family.

From that day on DJ would change into his monster form when his father came home from work and would lay on David's chest while they were on the sofa.

"He gets that from me," I said with a grin.

"I know,": David said with a smile, gazing down at our purring, blue furred Baby Cookie. "He even purrs like Mommy does when her head's on my chest."

His brothers and sisters loved seeing him in his monster form. Cami even immortalized his monster footprint in paint to frame and add to the collection of foot art on the walls in our office. I could see this youngest child of ours taking his unique gift and using it to entertain children as his fictional counterpart did on Sesame Street.

"Our kids are gonna change the world," David said to me that night while we were getting ready for bed.

"Oh, I hope so! They're all so special in their own unique ways."

I crawled in beside him and lay my head on his chest.

"Ahhh…there's that purr I love hearing. Yeah, DJ definitely gets that from you."

"Because this is my favorite place to sleep," I murmured, feeling him wrap his arms around me.

And in the crib on the other side of the wall our little baby Cookie changed into his monster form and began purring as he drifted off to sleep.


	16. Unexpected Visitors

**Unexpected Visitors**

**Author's Notes: In the Gold Standard story How The Queen Stole Christmas, the story I co-authored with GoldsJRZGirl we mentioned that my Gold Chronicles/Murder In The First characters David and Elizabeth Molk accidentally visited Storybrooke Four. The Unexpected locations and characters are referred to as Storybrooke Four in both her Gold Standard series and my Gold Chronicles. This story also contains an extended scene from True Love Conquers All, book three of Unexpected and one from an upcoming chapter of Dreaming of a Knight In Blue, book three of Gold Chronicles. **

**Bellefonte, Pennsylvania **

**Gold Chronicles Verse **

**Summer, 2018**

"You're going to be driving all the way from Pennsylvania to Maine?" Archie asked his brother one morning while they were talking on Facetime.

"It's a nine-hour drive, Archie. Almost half the time it takes to drive to Florida."

"So take my bus if you want to get a power nap or two in before you get to Storybrooke."

David made a face. "Need I remind you what happened the first time YOU went on a road trip in that thing? I can pull up your rap sheet if you want."

"Look, if that state trooper just left me put my damn clothes on before I got out of the bus, I wouldn't have gotten a citation for indecent exposure, now would I?"

"First: you were parked on the side of a highway."

"In an open field!"

"Two: you were driving a hippie bus that might as well have been a neon sign saying: GET YOUR DOPE HERE."

"Ha ha ha."

"Three: the officer ordered you to get out of the bus and you were procrastinating."

"I was NAKED!"

"Four: yes, you WERE naked which was why you got the citation."

"He didn't give me time to get dressed!"

"Az got out with clothes on."

"Because she had more time than I did! The guy was giving me attitude, so he asked for it and then after he writes me the ticket, he and his buddy sat with us for half an hour drinking sodas and talking. I wasn't annoyed with him then."

"Well you should've stopped off at a motel."

"We were having a hippie honeymoon and you don't spend one of those in a motel, now do you? Besides, the one we did find was more of a roach motel than anything."

David rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Oh, come on! Don't tell me you and Beth haven't spent a few nights outdoors!"

"Not in our vehicle on the side of a highway! Need I remind you how dangerous that is?"

"I got reminded enough by the trooper that stopped me."

"Well there you go. We'll be fine. We just need some quiet time now that Beth's off restriction."

They grinned at each other through their iPad screens.

"You keep going and you'll have a dozen kids before we're sixty!"

"No, we agreed DJ is the last one. I have an appointment to get a vasectomy as soon as I get back."

Archie winced. "You're really going through with it?"

"After six kids in nine years of marriage, yeah."

"There's no way in hell I'll go through it. We were told on our wedding day we'd have two and though we've been trying all these years two might be all we have. I'll be okay with that, not having my manly parts butchered!"

"It's a simple operation!"

"Ummm hmmm and one that puts a damper on your love life for a week or two."

"Well I'm not asking Beth to have her tubes tied after all the struggles she went through to even have kids!"

"Okay but it's still brutal if you ask me."

"I can have it reversed if we want more kids."

"How you keep up with the six you have is a miracle!"

"We manage it. I work from home now, so Beth doesn't have to do it all herself. We have Kari to help when we need her, but she has more to do at the office."

"Are you going to hire more investigators? You'll need to with the caseload you have now?"

"I have feelers out, but Rumple keeps telling me to hold off until the time the realms unite."

"He's been talking about that more now."

"Do you know what it means?"

"So far we've only interacted with people from the third Enchanted Forest and Storybrooke Two but sooner or later we have to let the others know we're out there if they need help. We're all still in danger from the Home Office and any other rogue Dark Ones. Silas Finster was the one killing all those people in San Francisco and I'm sure he was the one who tried to kill you and Beth not Jamie."

"I'm not. You forget what bloodline Jamie came from. The McDermotts made kings and queens fear them before they were burned at the stake." He sighed. "And my grandson was the darkest mage in all the realms. Not the legacy I hoped for when I took him back there in 1519."

"We're all safe from him now thanks to Rumple, my other self and you took care of Jamie. Look, use the travel storm tokens. They'll get you away from all that traffic on the interstate."

"Trust me, you wanna see a traffic headache, I-95 is the place to be or the Beltway."

"Both I avoid like the damn plague. Just be careful and summon me if you need me, okay."

"I will."

**Storybrooke Four **

**That same night **

There was no place Archie Hopper enjoyed taking his beloved wife Marie on their date nights than to the drive-in movie theater. They tried to have one every Saturday after they got married but their family and work responsibilities made it difficult to keep the tradition. They were fortunate if they got one date night a month.

Archie parked their car in the back to give them more privacy, rolled down the windows and clipped the speaker to the door. The theater was having a salute to John Wayne, his favorite actor and the double feature included the couple's favorite movie, McLintock.

They laughed when the mud fight came on, recalling how it had been recreated unintentionally during their first trip back to the Enchanted Forest after the Dark Curse had been broken. They always went back over the holidays, but much had changed in the realm over the years. Many of the residents left the Forest once they discovered life on the other side had more advantages.

Marie laid her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. They planned to spend the night at their lakeside cabin and though she loved going to the movies, their time at their cabin was always her favorite part of their date nights. Sometimes they still felt like newlyweds after eight years of marriage, four children and a menagerie of snakes, crickets and dogs.

"I have something for you," Archie said and handed her a small box. She tore off the wrapping paper and squealed in delight when she discovered the copy of Elizabeth Molk's latest romance novel in the box. She was one of Marie's favorite authors, her first novel _Dreaming of a Knight In Blue_ her favorite. The hero of the story, a San Francisco homicide detective, reminded Marie of Archie for he too had rescued the woman he loved from an abusive psychopath.

"So that's why Rumple kept telling me it was out of stock! You put him up to it!" She threw her arms around him and kissed him. "Thank you honey!"

"I'm still working on getting you to meet her," he murmured. He preferred the suspense novels she co-wrote with her husband though he had taken a peek or two at her romances for inspiration for date night.

"You just want to arrange a meeting with the elusive Doctor Ozopov so you'll butter up his sister-in-law to do it!" she teased. "Do you think he'll be at the next conference?"

He laughed. "He'll get arrested like he always does when it's time to go to one. If Storybrooke wasn't an ecofriendly town I would be out there with him. His methods are a little controversial but his heart's in the right place."

"I wish we had been able to go to the Boston conference! A Fifties sock hop!" Marie exclaimed, referring to a previous conference they'd missed when everyone in the house had terrible colds.

As the end credits rolled Archie turned on the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Once they were on the main road it began to rain. He glanced over at Marie. She'd been terrified of storms when they first got married, storms a painful reminder of the brutal rape she'd endured at the hands of Gaston Devereaux when she was nineteen. Her daughter Gisella had been born from that rape though she became Archie's child through one of true love's most powerful spells. Now instead of cringing in terror she was smiling.

"A penny for your thoughts darling?" he asked softly.

"Oh I was thinking of a night like this after we got married….at my father's estate….the stables."

He chuckled. "Belle and Rumple showed up after we were asleep, fortunately! Wow….I didn't think it would rain this hard!"

"I can't see anything!"

"It'll be alright darling. If I have trouble, I'll pull over till it slows down."

**Outside the town line**

**That same night**

David had decided to take his brother's advice and tossed a travel storm token after two hours of dealing with traffic jams and aggressive drivers on the interstate. They were now on the main road leading to Storybrooke. There were entrances to all five realms and anyone driving on that road would only see the entrance to the one they needed to go to but as the time for the realms to unite drew closer all entrances were now visible.

Rain lashed at the windshield while David drove, the storm seemed to come out of nowhere and though he was not worried he knew Beth was. She always had anxiety while she was driving, worse when she had to drive in the dark during rain and snowstorms though she didn't drive as much now that they were married.

"It's gonna be okay sweetheart," he soothed.

"Why does this road always have to be so damned dark!" she moaned.

He turned the wipers up, yet they were of little use. Just as he thought he would need to pull over he spotted the entrance to Storybrooke. There was a brief flash of light when he drove through, but the storm seemed to follow them inside.

"I'm gonna try to make it to Granny's. Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine," she murmured.

The engine sputtered.

"What the hell?" David grouched. The noise grew louder. He pulled over, cut the engine and turned on his hazard lights.

"Stay here," he ordered and got out.

"David, maybe we should call Tillman's?" Beth suggested, referring to the town's mechanic. She took out her phone and dialed the number but to her surprise her phone no longer had a signal. She rolled down the window. "I can't get a signal…what are you doing?"

"I don't believe this! The front of the car's scorched!" he called out over the rain.

"Why? That flash of light when we came in. I don't understand. The wards Rumple set on the town line aren't supposed to activate when a resident comes in!"

"Well something triggered 'em and they fried the car. Keep trying to get Tillman."

"I am. My phone's not picking up a signal and it should."

"See if you can start it up."

Beth crawled into the driver's seat and turned the key.

"I'm not getting anything."

David lifted the hood and peered inside. "Doesn't look like it fried the engine. Try again."

"Honey you need to come out of the rain before you get sick!"

"It's slowing down."

"Not enough!"

"Try it again."

She turned the key praying this time it would work.

**Storybrooke Four **

The rain had slowed though visibility was still difficult. Archie and Marie still had a twenty minute drive before they reached the lake and as they cruised down the road Archie could see someone's taillights blinking.

"We should stop and see if they need help," Marie suggested. Archie nodded and pulled up behind the other car, a blue covertible. Marie grabbed Archie's arm when she noticed that car bore an out of state license plate.

"What's wrong darling?"

"Outsiders. Look at the license plate. It's from Pennsylvania!" She copied down the number. "Maybe we should go."

"I don't like the idea of leaving someone stranded in this weather. Rumple's wards on your bracelet and my ring are still active if we need help." He got out and walked over to the other car seeing someone leaning over the open hood. "Hey! Is there something I can do to help?" he called out.

"Archie?" he heard a voice eerily similar call out. "How the hell'd you get here? I didn't summon you!" The man turned around and Archie gasped in shock when someone with his own face stared back him, at least a face that would be his in ten years or so. His double's hair was completely gray as were his mustache and beard. "You dye your hair back?" the double asked him.

"Who….who are you?" Archie demanded.

"You been sniffing something besides incense Archie? I get back to Juno I'm tossing your house and shop and believe me if I find weed or crack, I'm hauling your ass down to the station, brother or not!"

"What…what are you talking about? I don't smoke weed, do crack and I certainly do not have a brother now who are you?"

"Archie, why are you yelling…oh my God!" Marie gasped, clapping her hand over mouth when she approached them.

"That's what I'd like to know. David, what the hell is going on out there?" came an angry voice from inside the convertible. The door opened and a woman stepped out.

"Oh my God! Archie, it's…it's Elizabeth Molk!" Marie exclaimed when she pointed her flashlight at the woman. The woman frowned as she glanced at Archie and Marie.

"Ummm….David….are you thinking what I am?"

"I am now….we're in the wrong Storybrooke!"

"What do you mean another Storybrooke? Who are you?" Archie pressed.

"She's Elizabeth Molk!" Marie cried, pointing at Beth.

"She looks like her, but do you really think she came from our world?"

"We didn't. We came from one running parallel to it and from the looks of you I think ours might have been a few years ahead of yours," David replied. "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?" Marie asked.

"That there are five Storybrookes that were created from Dark Curses cast in five Enchanted Forests. The only one that didn't have a Dark Curse was the third one. It was almost destroyed by a nuclear missile and our Enchanted Forest was destroyed eight years ago." Beth made a face while she explained. "I'm surprised your Rumple didn't tell you. He should know as a former Dark One."

"So, in your Enchanted Forest you're my twin?"

"I was born Jasper Whitmore, Archie. Our parents sold me, and I ended up being a knight in Prince Philip and Princess Aurora's court. Beth is their daughter." David grinned. "This is our second life. In our first life we were Morgan Whitmore and Bess Lawton. In that life I was the Earl of Mayford in the courts of Edward IV, Richard III, Henry VII and Henry VIII."

"You knew the Tudors personally?" Marie's eyes lit up. "We have to talk!"

"My wife is a Tudor history buff," Archie chuckled.

"You believe us?"

"You know too much about this realm not to and looking at you is like looking a mirror. Tell me, what is my other self like?"

Marie burst out laughing. "You already know Archie! She's Elizabeth Molk and her brother-in-law is…"

"_Doctor Ozopov_!?"

David and Beth nodded. "Archie uses his initials and his wife's maiden name in the medical profession because he knows there are already four of you with the same name. The other one took the name Isaac Wallace and he works for the NSA. Yeah, my brother's got a long rap sheet for his protesting. Is there a Granny's B&B here? We had reservations at ours but…."

"Yes, we have a Granny's here. Why don't we call Mike Tillman to tow your car to town and we'll take you there?" Archie suggested.

"I tried calling but my phone has no reception," Beth said.

"Hmmm…that's odd…but maybe that's because you're not from this Storybrooke."

"It's a long drive to town Archie. Why don't we go to the cabin instead? Rumple and Belle are staying at theirs and we really should let Rumple know what's going on. We can call Mike in the morning to pick up the car once we've explained to everyone what's going on."

"Yes, we should. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, I think we should meet your Rumple and put the word out who we are before we cause a panic." David replied.

They removed David and Beth's luggage from their vehicle and placed it in Archie's. The rain had stopped during the drive to the lake. It was still early enough in the evening that Rumple and Belle were still awake.

**Storybrooke Four **

**Rumple's Cabin **

"Rumple you've been staring at that window for fifteen minutes. What's wrong?" Belle asked him when she looked up from the book she was reading.

"The ward at the town line was activated," he murmured.

"If it was something Emma and Jeff couldn't handle, they'd call you now stop worrying!" she scolded gently. A short time later he could see headlights on the driveway.

"Archie and Marie," he said. "I didn't know they were coming over."

"Neither did I. I hope nothing's wrong!" Belle got off the sofa and ran to the front door as Archie parked the car beside Rumple's beloved Cadillac.

"Is something wrong dearies?" Rumple asked when his brother-in-law got out of the car followed by Marie. They seemed fine.

"No but you are not gonna believe what we found near the town line!" Marie cried.

"What was it?" Belle demanded. "Rumple said it activated."

"This," Archie opened one of the back doors to the car and to Rumple and Belle's surprise a man that could have been Archie's older double stepped out followed by a woman Belle recognized from dustjackets of books on the shelves in the library and her husband's shop.

"Elizabeth Molk?" she exclaimed. "And Archie…that man….he could be your twin!"

Rumple stared at David. "Oh, he is dearie, just not in this realm."

"What?"

"Let them come inside and we'll talk about it," Rumple said. They led the couple into the living room. Rumple dried their wet clothes with a spell while Belle and Marie went into the kitchen to make coffee and snacks.

"I can't believe it! Elizabeth Molk in our house!" Belle squealed.

"I know…and she's married to a man that looks exactly like Archie. Mmm, now I know he'll look with silver hair, a mustache and beard. Still my handsome Adonis." Marie smiled dreamily.

"What did Rumple mean when he said they're not from this realm?"

"Because they're not and they also said this is their second life. They knew Henry Tudor personally in their first lives."

Belle's mouth dropped open. "They did NOT!"

"They say they did, and I believe them. Belle, this is so exciting!"

The sisters started laughing.

"Look at us! We're fangirling! If our husbands saw us right now, they'd never let us live it down." Belle picked up the tray with the coffee and snacks and carried it into the living room but now Emma, Jeff, Regina, Robin, Snow and Charming were now in attendance having been summoned by Rumple to the cottage. They all listened in silence while David and Beth told their story, all eyes on Rumple once they were finished.

"You knew there were six parallel worlds all this time and you said nothing about it?" Regina scolded her mentor. "This is something we needed to know Rumple!"

"You know my memories were tampered with prior to my breaking the Dark One curse. I didn't remember anything about the other realms until I saw David and Beth," Rumple defended.

"We all need to be aware of each now, at least that's what our Rumple thinks. He keeps talking about the time the realms unite. Do you know what that means?"

"Exactly what your Rumple believes it will be…all six realms will unite to defeat a common enemy. This Home Office you spoke of may be that enemy or the Guardians in each realm will unite to form the ultimate circle of power."

Archie frowned. "And one of me was a Dark One."

"He did it to save the other version of me, dearie and to destroy Silas. Silas had to be destroyed. He was the worst of all Dark Ones."

"I know that too well," David muttered. Beth shivered.

"Plus, you're telling us your Rumple's father was Peter Pan and he was a crazy dark mage who wanted to kill his own son and grandson?"

"Pan was also my grandson in my first life as Morgan Whitmore Emma," David reminded her. "Our Emma calls him the 'Father From Neverhell' with good reason."

"He was also descended from a long line of Scots-Irish warlocks that were burned at the stake by the Stewarts for practicing dark magic. Pan's aunt was even a mistress of James IV before she was burned." Beth added.

"How long did you live in the Tudor period?" Belle wanted to know.

"I was executed in 1537 for my role in the Pilgrimage of Grace," David replied. "Beth died the same day because our life forces were bound. I was reborn into my own bloodline, Beth wasn't."

"So, you were trying to get to your Storybrooke but ended up in ours because you couldn't see it through the rain." Emma concluded.

"And our ward activated but he had one on him that countered it," Regina added.

"That's my brother's doing."

"Archie with magic? I can't picture it," Jeff chuckled.

"I may not have magic, but I do carry a big umbrella…and use it too!" Archie reminded him. Jeff winced, knowing just how lethal Archie's umbrella could be when he needed to use it.

"I think I'd like to see this other version of you Archie," Regina said.

"Are you sure about that?" they heard a voice echo.

David scowled. "Okay Commander, cut out the theatrics."

"Dammit David you know I HATE when people call me that about as much as I hate that certain set of curse words DG taught the Ozians when she first showed up there!"

"Is that your brother?" Snow asked. Regina rolled her eyes.

"Really Snow, he sounds just like Archie!"

"Why did you call him Commander? Commander of what?" Charming demanded.

There was a puff of green smoke and Archie Ozopov appeared. "David, how did you end up here?"

"Storm. Couldn't see a damn thing and drove into the wrong entrance. This place had a ward on it your protections countered and fried the front of my car."

"And they would have because he is bound to a direct descendant to Hades and Persephone," Rumple clarified.

"Wait a minute! The Greek gods Hades and Persephone?" Marie exclaimed.

"Yes. My wife Azkadellia is a direct descendant and so are her sister DG, our Rumple and Henry. They fled Olympus thousands of years ago and created the six parallel realms, Nonestica being the original. And to answer your question Charming, I was Commander of the Ozian royal army."

"How do you have magic?" Archie inquired.

"I was born with it, but my powers were bound until our Regina cast the Dark Curse. While most of our people were sent to Storybrooke, I was sent to Oz or as we called it, the OZ. My destiny was to be one of the nine Guardians of the Balance, representing the fifth element, spirit or heart if you will."

"He also has half of my original soul," David added. "I was first born Morgan Whitmore, the son of a thief and con artist who used a travel storm token to leave the Enchanted Forest. I ended up in England during the Wars of the Roses serving as a squire to Richard III when he was still Duke of Gloucester. His brother made me Earl of Mayford. I was executed in 1537 on Henry VIII's orders for my part in the Pilgrimage of Grace then reborn into my own bloodline as Jasper Whitmore, one of twin sons born to my brother Martin and his wife Myrna. Martin and Myrna kept Jiminy and sold me to Rumple."

"So, our parents were awful even in your world," Archie said bitterly.

"Yeah. They did the same things to me...made me rob people at fairs, pretend I was sick, peddle their 'elf tonic'." Jiminy made a face. "I thought that was all I would ever do with my life until that accident with Donna and Stephen."

"Oh no!" Archie groaned. "You too?"

Jiminy nodded. "I raised Geppetto myself. Not easy to do as a cricket. I took jobs as a messenger to support us until he was able to get an apprenticeship. Eventually I became a messenger in Snow's court then later an advisor."

"What about you?" Emma asked David.

"Rumple took me to King Hubert's court. I was one of his knights until Jiminy wished to be a cricket. Blue didn't know the spell would affect me too because we shared a soul and because we were twins."

Rumple snorted. "You sure of that, dearie? She's always been a real piece of work so it would not surprise me in the least if she changed you for spite."

"No, she's not like that in our world or the third one," Jiminy defended.

"I was a messenger too but also had to look after the biggest hellraisers in the kingdom, Prince Phillip, Aurora and her!" David smirked, pointing at his wife.

"I was Morgan's wife in my first life," Beth explained. "He petitioned the Ozian goddess Ozmalita to have our souls reborn so that we could be together again in our new lives but Regina and Maleficent cursed us. We were given a memory curse and I was given the sleeping curse...as a severe form of narcolepsy that activated when I turned sixteen. The sleeping curse would have passed to every female in my bloodline as long as Maleficent lived but once our Emma killed her the curse was broken."

"True love's kiss couldn't break it?" Belle inquired.

"True loves kiss being powerful enough to break any curse is a terrible misconception that has gotten too many people in trouble." Jiminy scowled. "The darker the magic used to create the curse, the more difficult it is to break. My bondmate's soul was possessed by a powerful demigoddess and Rumple's was possessed by the darkest mage in all the realms, the goddess Alemedia."

"…who can take any form she wishes. She knew she couldn't hold me once I found Bae and Belle again, so she released me."

"You were lucky. The others had to fight like hell to get her to release them. The Dark One daggers are the devices she uses to bind the souls to her; and she had them hidden in all the realms. We've neutralized all but one. The time the realms unite is coming and we need to be ready."

"Archie…excuse me, Jiminy, can we uhhh….leave the gloom and doom outside for a bit," David mumbled.

"Fine but we can't ignore it either."

"Why don't you stay for a while too?" Marie asked.

"I'd like to but I've got ahh….a meeting tomorrow."

David scowled. "Oh I'm sure you do and I'll be expecting a call that you got arrested again. How the hell you stay in practice with your rap sheet is beyond me."

"Well if people would treat this planet with a little more respect, I wouldn't have to be out there protesting, now would I?"

"And I'd be right there with you," Archie spoke up.

"Maybe next time. Goodbye everyone." Jiminy said before he vanished.

"Wow. Seeing a version of you with magic is weird," Emma said to Archie. He nodded.

"I'm still getting used to having another version of me," David admitted. "But he's a good guy….just made a few bad choices."

Rumple stood up and walked over to the fireplace, gazing into the mirror.

"In the past lies the future and the realms will unite in a blaze of light," he murmured.

"Ummm…Rum, what the hell was that?" Robin demanded. Regina slapped his arm. Suddenly Jiminy reappeared.

"The connections are opening. He's linking to our Rumple through the Eye," Jiminy answered.

"The what?"

"The Eye of Aramon," David replied.

"What the hell is that?" Emma asked.

"Being able to see the past and future. I had it in my first life as Morgan and he inherited its full power when he broke the Dark One curse. He can't see everything as Aramon did because then he would try to change fixed points in time."

"Sound like Doctor Who there," Jeff joked.

"A lot of what the Doctor says about time is right. There are fixed points that can't be altered but that doesn't mean people haven't tried," Jiminy said.

"Time travel is forbidden by the laws of magic," Rumple reminded them.

"It is forbidden but it can still be done along with the other spells that are forbidden. There are always mages crazy enough to try it and that's where we come in. We Guardians are the checks and balances of the mages in the six realms."

"How do we know who are Guardians?" Regina quizzed.

"You'll be marked." Jiminy took off his t-shirt and turned around. There was a tattoo of crossed swords on his upper arm and the image of a cricket on his shoulder blade. "My symbol is a cricket because I represent the elements Earth and spirit. The swords are..."

"Talons of the Dragon!" Robin exclaimed. "I thought they were a legend and I dreamed of being one when I was lad."

"No, the order still exists, and my brother-in-law is its Grand Master."

"What are Talons of the Dragon?" Emma asked.

"They're the strongest warriors in all the realms," Rumple explained. "They're our version of samurais but the only difference is there are mages among their ranks as well. The most powerful ones are from the Houses of Strogoff and Ozopov, the descendants of Hades and Persephone and their bondmates."

"The second strongest are from the House of Laufeyson," Jiminy added. "The descendants of the Norse god Loki Laufeyson; Rumple, Robert and Rhea. Rumple and Robert are twins and Rhea is their younger sister."

"So, if we do meet this big bad, we'll kick its ass," Emma said confidently.

"That's the plan," Jiminy murmured. "Personally, I'd like a few years of rest before we fight another war." He yawned. "I'd better get back to Juno before I start falling asleep or I'll teleport myself God knows where. David, you gonna stay here?"

"Yeah."

"Good night," Jiminy said and vanished.

"He looks like he's been through a lot," Archie observed.

"He was. We both have," David murmured. "When we were born our Rumple said one of us would battle the darkness the other would see the horror darkness left behind. He was right."

"Well there's no darkness here now dearie," Rumple reassured him. "And since you're here, you may as well stay a few days."

"I'd like that," Beth said softly.

"It's late and the front desk will be closed at Granny's. We have a guest room at our cabin. You can stay there," Archie said to the Molks.

"Oh, we wouldn't want to impose!"

"You're not."

"The truth is ummm…we ahhh….oh boy…were looking to have a little private time…" David said nervously.

"You still can in our Storybrooke but it's so late now you might want to rest," Marie insisted.

"I am a little tired honey," Beth said softly.

"Then it's settled. You'll stay with us tonight and then you can get a room at Granny's in the morning."

"Now why would they do that when the cottage near yours is vacant?" Rumple demanded. "They wanted some privacy and they'll have it."

"Well, ahhh...the owner might have a problem with us squatting in their place." David said nervously.

"I am the owner dearies," Rumple chuckled. "You can stay there and we'll make sure you have everything you need for the night at least. You can get the rest of your supplies in town."

"That's very kind of you," Beth said softly.

"I believe your Rumple would do the same if one of us arrived in your town."

The couple nodded.

"A lot of people were scattered when Nonestica was destroyed and some of them are finding their way to the safe havens Rumple put up."

"When what was destroyed?" Charming asked.

"Our realm. It's gone." Beth said sadly. "The third realm was partially destroyed but the casualties weren't as high as they were in Nonestica."

"What happened?!" Snow cried.

"The goddess Lurline tethered her life force to the first realm Hades and Persephone created. When the stone that held it was destroyed the realm was destroyed with it. Do you remember the day I collapsed at dinner? That was why. I felt it," Rumple answered. "Many mages felt it. Millions died."

"Was that what happened in the third realm?"

"No. A dangerous terrorist group on this side known as the Home Office opened a portal there and launched nuclear missiles into it. The Rumple there, the Blue fairy and many other mages lost their powers trying to save it from complete destruction," David explained. "We're watching them and the minute they try to make another move on any of the safe havens we're going after them with everything we've got."

"This must be what we need to unite to stop," Jeff spoke up.

"And we will," Emma growled and stood up. "Well Jeff we better getting back before those rugrats of ours wake up or we're gonna be dragging ass all day at the station. It was very nice to meet you," she said to the Molks.

"Beth, David, it was very nice meeting you. I'm sure we'll see you around town...unless you're just gonna hole up in your cabin," Jeff said and winked.

"We'd better be getting home too hon," Charming reminded his wife and the couple bid their own farewells to the Molks before Emma teleported them out.

"I'll make sure the curiosity about you is kept to a minimum," Regina reassured the couple as she stood up. She took Robin's hand and they vanished.

Rumple handed the cabin key to David. "Everything should be in order when you arrive."

"Thank you Rumple."

"Have a good night dearies."

"They seem like a nice couple," Archie said after the Molks went inside their cottage. "It was strange how they ended up here but I hope they do decide to stay for a few days."

He sat down on the glider and patted the empty space beside him. Marie smiled and sat beside him, laying her head on her shoulder.

"I can't help seeing us when I look at them," she murmured.

"Neither can I. And…" he chuckled. "Now I know what I'll look like with gray hair, a mustache and beard."

"You'll still be my handsome Adonis," she whispered and kissed his cheek. "To quote Beth's book...I truly feel like my life started the day I met you…"

"You tried to mow me down with a horse!" he exclaimed.

"I didn't see you!"

"Then you assaulted me with a broom!"

She laughed.

"You sat on my chest and wouldn't get off until I apologized."

"Then that night at the club. You looked so beautiful in your gown," He nuzzled her neck. "My goddess…"

"You've always made me feel beautiful even when I was the size of a house."

"With our babies inside you…" He kissed the side of her neck gently.

She turned and wrapped her arms around him, drawing his mouth down to hers. "Archie…" she moaned softly. He pulled her onto his lap and deepened their kiss as it began to rain again. He sighed contentedly and drew her closer, remembering another rainy night in the stables back at her father's castle in the Enchanted Forest, the night they'd celebrated her liberation from the horrors of her past.

_They rode back to the castle, Marie racing ahead of her husband once they approached the stables. Archie dismounted from his horse and led him back toward the stables, wondering where his wife had gotten to, becoming more concerned when he heard thunder and looked up to see the sky turning dark. They were in for one hell of a storm and the last thing he wanted was for Marie to have an accident. _

"_Marie!" he called out, a terrified scream the response he received. He ran into the stables and found his wife huddled in the hayloft sobbing. His first thought was something was happening to the baby. He rushed to her side. "Darling…what is it?"_

_She was gasping for air and shaking, in the midst of another anxiety attack. "He….pushed me up against the wall…and…he…"_

_Oh gods, how could I have forgotten, he thought._

"_Marie, darling…look at me…look at me!" he cried frantically and cupped her face in his hands. "He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore. Breathe...that's it..." He stroked her back gently as she struggled to get her breathing back under control._

_"I'm sorry Archie! We were having such a wonderful day and I ruined it..." she moaned._

_"You have nothing to apologize for. I should've expected you to have an episode after not being here for so long and I want to slap myself silly for forgetting." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close and she closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder. No matter how terrifying her flashbacks were or her nightmares, having his arms around her, his eyes looking into hers or hearing his calming voice was enough to make her feel safe again. After Gaston's assault she lay there alone, trying as best she could to preserve what modesty she still had left with her torn clothing while he sauntered off to the village to celebrate his victory with ale not knowing that nine months later the child she bore would be nothing like him and that suited her fine._

_Archie was grateful the bastard was dead, killed in the prison yard after making the mistake of bragging about what he'd done to Marie to a man serving a prison term for dispensing his own justice on the man who raped and murdered his mother. Emma told him about it shortly before their return to the Forest and he was planning on telling Marie but he wanted to wait until the time was right._

_"What do you mean he's dead, Archie?"_

_"He is. He signed his death warrant with his inflated ego."_

_"How?"_

_"The bastard had the gall to brag about what he did to you...to the wrong person...Kamil Cotter."_

_"That boy who killed the man who raped his mother?" The couple read about the Boston rape/murder case and the controversy surrounding it with many calling it justifiable homicide while others felt the boy was wrong to take the law into his own hands. Archie, having been in the same situation, had mixed feelings about it. The Cotter woman had been a dancer like Marie and the defense attorney launched a smear campaign against her in court, managing to secure a not guilty verdict that sparked the boy's rage. The mangled body of his mother's attacker was found two days later in a dumpster. He understood the boy's need to make the rapist suffer as his mother did but he wouldn't have gone as far as the Cotter boy did._

_As he had the day he killed his mother's rapist, Kamil Cotter pummeled the former knight and stockbroker with his fists and it took six guards to pull the enraged nineteen year off Gaston but he was already close to death from internal injuries._

_He nodded. "I was going to tell you about but we had so much going on that I forgot."_

"_It's all right. We'll…have to tell Gisella eventually….but she disowned him long ago and he meant nothing to me."_

_"We should get back before everyone starts worrying..." _

_But Marie wasn't ready to leave yet. She drew his head down and kissed him hotly. "Make love to me Archie..." she pleaded as she started unbuttoning his shirt._

_"Here? Now? Marie, darling you've just had..." _

_She pressed her fingers to his lips."That bastard is dead and I'm not going to let what he did to me be the only memory I have of this place. I want to make new ones...ones I never want to forget...with you." _

_The therapist in him cautioned that it was not the proper time or place for such intimacy, the husband and lover wanted her as much as she wanted him and wanted to fullfill her desire. They had little time to themselves since they'd returned from their honeymoon and would have even less when their baby was born. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her as he unbuttoned her blouse and reached inside her bra to caress her breasts. _

_"Archie..." she moaned, feeling her breasts swell under his touch. She pushed his shirt off and tossed it in the hay behind them tracing gentle patterns on his chest with her fingertips. She lay down and pulled him on top of her and reached for the waistband of his leather pants as he removed her blouse and bra and deposited them in the hay above her head, their need for each other reaching its breaking point while they kissed and caressed each other's bodies and removed the rest of their clothing. _

_"Make love to me," she pleaded again. _

_The storm raged outside though they barely heard it or noticed it, the only sounds they could hear were the pounding of their own hearts, their cries of passion, all they could feel was the gentle touch of each other's hands and lips on their bodies in the place of her humiliation at the hands of another so long ago. Now she was with the man who held her, made love to her, like she was the most precious thing in the world and she was carrying a child again, created from their love. On their wedding night and nearly every night after Archie gave back to Marie what was taken from her that stormy night ...belief that there was a man who would not see her as ruined or damaged and show her how wonderful love could be. _

_"I love you," she sobbed in his arms in the sweet afterglow of their lovemaking, feeling like it was her first time all over again as she had on their wedding night, but her husband was no longer the shy former cricket who took her to his bed on that night. In the two months they'd been married he was becoming more and more comfortable with physical intimacy and finding as much pleasure in it as she did and now they would have centuries to learn different ways to keep the passion alive in their marriage, ways that required none of the perversions and humiliations Marie had been subjected to at the hands of other men, particularly Gaston. _

_The thunder rumbled outside and the raindrops that pounded on the roof were sounds that once made her run to his arms trembling in fear, begging him to hold her, the only shelter she felt safe from the storm in. She hadn't needed to tell him where her fear of storms had come from. He already knew, just as he knew why she refused to go near the stable when they first returned to Avonlea. She decided after their meeting with Ninia that she was going to attempt to conquer her fear alone but at that time she still believed Gaston was alive. Now that she knew he was out of her life forever, she wanted to bury the memories she had of him along with his corpse. _

_"It's over Marie. You're free," Archie murmured, pulling her closer and stroking her back and hair. He reached for his shirt and draped it over them like a blanket, knowing they should be getting back to the castle before everyone started worrying but it was still storming outside and he was enjoying the brief time of privacy they were having and wasn't willing to end it just yet. He kissed her gently on the lips. "It's still storming outside, darling. Maybe we should wait until it passes." _

_"Mmmm...I like the sound of that. " She burrowed her face in his shoulder and moments later they drifted off to sleep. _

"Make love to me," he heard her whisper, bringing him back to the present. He wanted to, oh how he wanted to make love to her then and there were there not another couple now occupying the cottage beside theirs, the distance between the two cottages not far enough to guarantee them the privacy they needed. A few minutes later they heard the Molks' cottage door open and Beth ran out wearing only a blue lace and satin negligee and high heels. To Archie's horror she climbed onto of a stack of boards Rumple's construction workers left on the lawn to build a second dock and started dancing.

"My God is she insane! She's going to slip and fall!" he exclaimed.

"Just like she did that first night," Marie murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"She's recreating my favorite scene from her first book. The night of her birthday, their first night together on a night just like this. He was freeing her from the memories of her past..just like you freed me from mine…"

They heard the door open and David came out.

"Great minds think alike," Archie murmured and turned his attention back to his own wife.

David stood on the porch, a small smile on his lips as he found himself being taken back to that stormy night in the summer of 2009 back at their farmhouse in Bellefonte. They were still under the curse but the curse hadn't been powerful enough to keep her prisoner of the horror she'd lived through during her second marriage. He would relive that night with her a million times if that was what she wanted. _  
_

"_Beth, what are you doing?" he called out as he approached the woodpile. _

"_I'm dancing!" she cried gleefully. _

"_I can see that. Sweetheart, come down from there before you slip and break something." _

_"I'm fine." _

_"I don't want to be taking you to the hospital for falling down and breaking your legs or worse on your birthday. Now come down from there!" He held out his arms to her. _

"_Come up and dance with me. Come on! I don't wanna dance alone!" She insisted when he refused to budge. _

"_Sweetheart I'll dance with you anywhere else in the world but not a stack of two by fours in the pouring rain. Come on."_

_As she spun around her heel got caught in one of the gaps. She fell forward into David's arms and they tumbled to the ground._

"_Aren't you getting tired of rescuing me?"_

"_Never," he murmured and drew her head down, his kiss taking her breath away. He sat up still holding her in his arms and gazed into her eyes._

"_Elizabeth Ann Harrington…will you marry me?" he asked nervously, taking a beautiful princess cut diamond ring out of his pocket and holding it out to her._

"_Yes," she sobbed and threw her arms around him. "Yes! I love you! I love you much…I've been wanting to ask you…"_

_He held up her hand and slid the ring onto her finger, kissing her knuckles. "I love you Sleeping Beauty and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."_

"_And I want to spend mine with you," she whispered and lay back on the grass pulling him down to her. Making love in a rainstorm had been a fantasy of hers since reading Kate Chopin's The Storm years earlier and there was no other man she could imagine doing so with than him. _

"_Oh boy…Beth…sweetheart…" He kissed her again, holding her closer yet it still didn't feel close enough but she didn't want him to think less of her for needing him more tonight than she had since they met in this life._

"_David…"_

"_Not for our first time sweetheart," he said softly and stood up. "If…if you're ready…"_

"_I am," she said firmly._

_He swung her up in his arms as if she were lighter than a feather and started carrying her back to the farmhouse. A gust of wind blew the screen door open and slammed it shut once they were inside making her wonder if some other force was at work trying to make everything perfect for their first night together._

_He carried her into her bedroom and set her on her feet at the foot of the bed, his eyes meeting hers._

"_Beth, I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you or make you do anything you don't want to and if you're not ready we can wait," he said softly as he caressed her cheek. _

"_There's no one else I would trust with my heart and my body now but you," she said._

_Would he still want her now that he could see all her imperfections; the surgical scars, the extra pounds she carried, the lack of enhancements other women spent top dollar having done to please their men? The women before her had been more attractive she was certain while beauty had always been a constant struggle for her. Jamie considered her so undesirable that he didn't even want to see her face when he took her and took her in the most brutal ways possible, using her as his outlet for his frustrations. _

"_He was an idiot," David said angrily. "An idiot who didn't appreciate real beauty when he saw it. You have a beautiful body, you ARE beautiful to me Beth and I'm gonna spend tonight and the rest of my life proving to you."_

_He was so concerned with restoring her self confidence that it never dawned on her that he feared her rejection of him now that she could see what he felt were his imperfections; old scars from a nasty bout of chicken pox he had as a child, the extra pounds he thought he carried that she knew were only muscle from keeping himself fit._

"_She was a bitch!" she snarled, referring to the ex-fianee he'd had before they were reunited. "A plastic bitch who didn't know real beauty when SHE saw it! You're my handsome Blue Knight David Andrew Molk and I'm gonna take all night proving it to YOU!"_

_He picked her up in his arms again and laid her down on the bed, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Gonna take my time investigating those curves…" he murmured. "Enjoy the scenery…"_

_Part of her couldn't help thinking this was just another one of her dreams and she would wake up alone, longing for him as she did every night since they'd been apart but his kisses, his hands caressing every part of her body with such tenderness was enough to convince her that it was real. She held him closer to her, wishing time would stop and they could live in this moment for months, years even, making up for the time they spent wandering from one lover after another until they found each other again. _

"_Will you let me do a little investigating of my own Inspector?" she purred._

"_As much as you want. We've got all night Sleeping Beauty."_

_She explored his body with her lips and hands as he had explored hers, never once thinking him too old or unattractive. In her eyes he was perfect just as she was in his, his eyes meeting hers. _

"_Yes," she said softly in response to the question he had yet to ask. He moved inside her slowly, taking away all the years of pain and degradation with his sweet kisses and tender touch and in his arms she was reborn into the woman she'd always wanted to be in this life. They were taking each other further away from that long, dark road of heartbreak and misery to a new destination where they at last found the love they'd been looking for this second time around. _

"_You're crying! Beth, sweetheart, did I hurt you?" he asked her later as he held her. _

"_No! I'm crying because I'm happy! Happier than I've ever been in my whole life!" she sobbed and buried her face in his shoulder._

"_That's the only time I ever want to make you cry."_

"_I love you."_

"_You know I love you Sleeping Beauty."_

"_David?"_

"_Hmmm…" he mumbled sleepily._

"_Would you mind if we had the wedding here?"_

"_It doesn't matter sweetheart. We can have it anywhere you want."_

_She nuzzled his shoulder. "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect beginning to my birthday."_

_He held up her hand, her diamond sparking in the moonlight peeking through the drapes and kissed her knuckles. "It's just getting started Sleeping Beauty."_

"_But I thought…you might be tired…"_

"_Never too tired for you."_

_The night was still young and she wasn't ready to let it end yet, not even to sleep and neither was he. For them the early morning hours they spent in her childhood bedroom were to learn how to express their love for each other in private before they once again stood at the altar to take the vows that would make them husband and wife._

Beth felt her foot slip and she pitched forward, directly into her husband's awaiting arms as they tumbled to the ground.

"Aren't you getting tired of rescuing me?" she murmured.

"Never Sleeping Beauty. Never," he vowed and kissed her hotly. "And I would make love to you here but I really don't wanna give the neighbors an eyeful!"

"Oh I think they've got other things to occupy their time. Look," He observed the couple sitting on the glider with their arms around each other with a smile.

"Great minds think alike," he said and stood up. As they were walking toward the porch David tugged on Beth's arm and started pulling her toward the side of the house.

"David...what are you doing?"

"We_ do _have a backyard, Sleeping Beauty and it's still raining." he murmured and swung her up in his arms. "And for years I've been promising you I was gonna make your fantasy come to life. Tonight's the night!"

"Oh boy!" she sighed dreamily.

"Love the way you say it," he murmured.

"Love the way you say it better."

"I love you."

"Love you more my blue knight."she whispered and laid her head on his shoulder as he carried her behind the cottage to the backyard, far enough away to give them the privacy they needed.

"I think our neighbors have turned in for the night," Archie murmured when he glanced over at the other cottage. All the lights had been turned out. "Now, my goddess, where we were?" he inquired huskily.

"Right here," Marie moaned as they began to create a new memory of a stormy night that they would relive again and again for many years to come. "We need to do this again sometime," she said later as she lay in his arms.

"Had you said that to me years ago I would've been too shy but not anymore, my goddess." Archie drew her closer and caressed her cheek. "And we don't get nights like this too often anymore."

"No we don't. It makes me wonder how David and Beth do it with six kids."

"They make up for lost time like we do, darling. Would you like to go for a walk? The rain's stopped and it's beautiful night."

"I'd love to."

They dressed quickly and hand in hand they walked across the field behind their cottage, pausing when they spotted something up ahead lying in the grass and approached it slowly, Archie pausing in his tracks when he realized it wasn't an object at all but Beth and David Molk asleep covered with David's shirt.

"Now I know how Belle and Rumple felt when they found us in the stables," Marie giggled into his shoulder. "What?" she asked when she saw the grin on her husband's face.

"I'll tell you on the way back," he said and turned to walk back toward the house. Moments later the silence was pierced by the sound of Marie's laughter.

"That's one more stick we can move to to the wishes fulfilled jar," David said after they'd awakened, referring to a wish jar they'd made the first year they were married where they'd written some of their secret fantasies on craft sticks and made two jars, one for wishes they wanted to make come true and wishes they had yet to grant each other.

"Mmmm and worthy of one of my oven mitt journal entries," Beth murmured, laying her head on his chest, referring to a fantasy journal she wrote that was always for their eyes only.

"Think I'm gonna need a fireproof suit to read that one, sweetheart. Will my favorite cheerleader be paying me a visit this week?"

"It was the first thing I packed. Did you bring your jersey?"

"Mmm hmm...and your favorite shirt."

"What other surprises do you have for me?"

"Are you trying to interrogate me, Inspector?"

He flipped her over and kissed her hotly. "You're still under investigation and you know how thorough I like to be."

"Yes I do," she whispered.

Later David poked his head around the corner of the cottage. The Hopper cottage was dark, much to his relief. The last thing he wanted was for his neighbors to see him and his wife sneaking back into their cottage like two teenagers who had been out past curfew trying to avoid being caught by their parents.

"Coast's clear Sleeping Beauty. Let's go!" he urged.

"We really need to tell Rumple to have a back door put in," Beth giggled as they walked toward the porch. Then they heard someone clearing their throat and the light came on revealing Archie and Marie sitting on the glider, scowls riding their faces and their arms crossed over their chests.

"You wanna tell us where you've been all night?' Archie demanded.

"And what you're doing sneaking in at 2AM?" Marie added.

"Umm….ahhh…" David stammered, his face flushed.

Suddenly the other couple burst out laughing.

"We're sorry, we couldn't resist!" Archie chuckled.

"I thought I was listening to my father for a minute!" Beth laughed.

"Yeah. Her dad did that to us one night the first year we were married," David recalled. "We didn't think you'd still be awake."

"I love rainy nights and I know Beth does too. Reliving fond memories?" Marie inquired softly.

"Marie!" Archie exclaimed.

"Oh yes," Beth whispered.

"Chapter 22 was my favorite chapter of your first book. It made me think of the first year of our marriage," Marie said, taking Archie's hand in hers. "It's strange how similar our lives have been."

"What do you mean?" Beth asked.

Marie's eyes met hers. "I lived in fear of a man for years like you did. I was nineteen the first time he...he...raped me."

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"

"He terrorized me constantly during the curse and after he tried to kill me."

"I should've killed him myself!" Archie growled. "I wanted to. I really wanted to."

"I wanted to kill that bastard Beth was married to but I had a choice that night...kill him or save her and I chose her," David said, drawing Beth into his arms.

"I felt like my life started the day I met Archie. We first met when he was a cricket and the damned Dark Curse made us forget each other but we fell in love again anyway."

"I felt like mine started the day David and I were reunited. Our minds may have forgotten each other…"

"But our hearts never did," David, Marie and Archie said in unison. "Beth's and my story is a lot less complicated than our other selves but there are a lot of things that have been the same."

David sat down on the swing and Beth joined him.

"I'm hoping we do get to meet everyone from the other realms," Beth confessed.

"Well you will meet plenty of people from this one," Archie said. "But I hope it doesn't cut into your private time too much."

"Yeah us too. We...ahh...haven't had much of it because Beth just had DJ and we've been waiting until we were sure she was recovered enough to take the time to be alone."

"We have four of our own," Marie said. "Do your children have magic? Three of ours do."

Beth nodded. "Jasper and Devon have some earth magic. Cami, Elsa and Rory...well….they are snow mages. DJ is our shapeshifter but we call him our baby Cookie."

"Why?"

"Because he shifts into a baby Cookie Monster. I thought I was seein things the first time I woke up from a nap and found him sleeping on my chest in that form and he purrs like a cat. That fur of his is gonna come in handy during those Pennsylvania winters," David explained.

"Johnny is our Doctor Doolittle. He can communicate with animals. AJ is our garden mage and Maureen is a weather mage. I'm thinking Gisella is going to be on the stage. She was wonderful in the school's production of Annie."

"The only mages that can control the weather in our realm are the Guardians."

Beth went into the cottage and brought out a bottle of wine and some glasses. She handed two of them to Archie and Marie and the other two to her husband. Though it was late they were enjoying their neighbors company and the Hoppers didn't seem to mind at all. They talked for another hour before they bid each other goodnight and the Hoppers returned to their own cottage.

"….There's OUTSIDERS in the town!" Leroy yelled as he burst through the door to Granny's the next morning.

"What the hell are you hollerin' about now Leroy?" Granny demanded angrily.

"Tillman just hauled in a car he found parked near the town line with Pennsylvania plates on it. Front of it's fried but you know anyone here from Pennsylvania? No!"

"Did you think about calling Emma?"

"Been tryin and she's not picking up. I say we find whoever it is and run 'em out of town."

"You'll do no such thing!" Regina ordered when she entered the diner with Emma and Jeff at her heels.

"Well where the hell have you been Madam Mayor? Sheriff?"

"If you'll sit down and shut your trap we'll tell you!" Jeff barked. "That goes for everyone. The Mayor's got some announcements to make so I suggest you all keep your mouths shut and your ears open."

Regina faced the patrons of the diner, her hands on her hips. "Yes, a car with Pennsylvania plates did come through the barrier last night and yes there were outsiders inside."

"Who are they?'

"Their names are David and Elizabeth Molk," Emma answered.

"Elizabeth Molk, the writer?" Ruby cried excitedly. "Oh I hope so! I love her books!"

"Yes, it is the same Elizabeth Molk."

"Well, what's she doing here?"

"They were trying to reach their Storybrooke and accidently crossed into ours because they couldn't see the entrance during the storm."

"Wait a minute! Mom, are you saying there's another Storybrooke?" Henry asked from where he sat.

"Yes. There are four of them."

"So there are four Enchanted Forests?"

"There were six."

"That's crazy!" Leroy cried.

"No it isn't," Mallory, their realm's Maleficent spoke up. "It's the truth. The six realms were created by the Greek gods Hades and Persephone when they were exiled from Mount Olympus thousands of years ago. "Where are the Molks from, Regina?"

"Nonestica."

Mallory gasped. "The destroyed realm!"

"Yes. The survivors have made safe havens across the United States. There is one here but they are as far away as California. And before anyone asks, yes we do have other versions of ourselves in these realms. The Molks are the versions of people living here."

"Who?" Marie's friend Lenore inquired.

The door opened again and Archie and Marie walked in followed by David and Beth.

"Oh my God he looks like Archie!" Sean Thomas exclaimed.

"Yeah, how Archie would look with gray hair, a mustache and beard," Bashful said.

"I never woulda guessed the white knight in blue would be an Archie clone!" Ruby whispered.

"So you're your world's Archie?" Leroy demanded.

"No. I'm his twin," David explained.

"And who're you, sister?'

"Princess Aurora and Prince Phillip's daughter," Beth replied.

"Is your twin gonna show up?"

There was a puff of green smoke and Jiminy appeared in the diner in full hippie regala. David chuckled.

"You called?" he asked as he lowered his sunglasses. Everyone gasped.

"He's got magic!"

"And he's a...a...hippie!" Merriweather Blue snorted.

"And what's wrong with that?" Jiminy demanded crossly.

"It..it's beneath you!"

"Really? Who are you to decide who and what I want to be, lady? I assure you OUR Blue doesn't have a problem with how I live my life, thank you very much."

Marie snickered. "Can I help if I'm enjoying seeing the other you put that tart in her place like you did?" she asked her husband.

"No but I have a feeling she'd be more intimidated by him than me," Archie muttered.

"Then she's a fool." Blue said angrily.

Jiminy snorted and shook his head. "I'd stay and chat but I've got a meeting to attend and I really don't wanna be late."

"Yeah and I'm gonna get a phone call telling me you got busted again!" David groaned.

"Make love not war and respect Mother Earth!" Jiminy announced and vanished. Several of the diner patrons laughed.

"Maybe you oughta go join him Archie. You're into that saving the Earth stuff," Little John laughed.

Archie grinned. "You never know. One of these days I just might."

Beth giggled. "Better start the bail fund now Marie. Az has been keeping one for years."

The Hoppers and Molks sat down at one of the tables to order lunch. Suddenly a group of women gathered around them and began firing questions at the Molks.

"Is he really your white knight in blue?"

"How much of your book really happened?"

"Did you really live a past life at Henry VIII's court?"

"Oh will you all stop cackling like hens and sit down!" Granny barked. The women reluctantly returned to their seats, glaring daggers at Granny. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay," David picked up a menu and studied it for a few minutes before he finally decided what he wanted to order. "You gonna have a burger and fries, Sleeping Beauty?"

"Yes."

"I'll just have my usual Archie," Marie said. A few minutes later Ruby came to the table to take their orders while Granny, Emma and Regina watched the other patrons like hawks to make sure the town's guests wouldn't be disturbed during their lunch. After lunch the Hoppers took the couple on a tour of the town, having taken the day off work to be their official guides. Word had gotten around town quickly about their arrival and so had Regina's warning that everyone not crowd them.

"We have to come back to town so you'll have the lake to yourselves most of the week,"Archie said to them during the drive back to the cottage.

"Sounds great," David said.

Marie fiddled with the controls on the stereo until it was playing their playlist. She smiled when Chicago's 'You're The Inspiration,' the couple's favorite song came on.

"This is our song," she said softly. "Archie and I are huge Chicago fans and used to go to see them as often as we could but we don't go anymore."

"We've seen them a few times ourselves but we stopped after Bill Champlin and Jason Scheff left," Beth spoke up.

"So did we. Then we started going to see the Rhodes Crew but their Jason isn't singing anymore either though he and his wife always sounded wonderful together."

"That's what a forty year smoking habit does to your vocal cords," Beth said wryly. "I wanted him to quit while he was married to me and Dawn kept begging him to quit after he married her but it took him losing his voice completely to finally figure out he needed to. David toured with them for a few weeks back in 2016 but he was working undercover trying to catch the person stalking Dawn."

"Yeah they decided to throw me on stage to sing and I was nervous as hell about it. I'll stick to being an ex cop PI, raising a family and doing my singing in private, thank you very much."

"He sang our song to me on our wedding day," Beth said softly.

"We sang to each other when we renewed our vows on our fifth anniversary."

David put his arm around his wife. "We're gonna renew ours on our tenth. Thank you again for everything you've done for us. We really appreciate it."

"Well just make sure you come to town once in a while or we'll have to do a welfare check!" Archie teased once they arrived back at the cottage.

"We will," David promised. "Good night!" Once the Hoppers' van was out of sight David swept Beth up in his arms and carried her into the cottage, eager to resume their second honeymoon.

Later in the week Beth agreed to do a book signing at the library while David went over to the pawnshop to talk to Rumple.

"I had a feeling you would be coming to see me, dearie."

"Well, Beth's fallen in love with the place and so have I."

Rumple slid a document across the table. David picked it up and read through it before adding his signature and handing it back.

"You're building up quite the real estate profile. Thinking of turning the PI office over to your partner and doing it full time?"

"Navarro prefers working out in the field and so do I when we get a case that piques my interest but I am gonna fully retire when I'm fifty-nine. I was planning to anyway while I was still on the force."

"Better find a hobby dearie or you'll go stir crazy."

"I dabble a bit in woodworking and my old buddies on the force send me their taxes to do every year." David made a face. "Beth said I need to stop doing so many because I get cranky."

"Yes they are a headache. I hate even doing my own but they have to be done. Well, congratulations Mister Molk, you are now the owner of a lakeside cabin. Don't be a stranger."

"Oh, I won't. It's very relaxing here and we'd like to come back with kids."

At the library Beth handed out the last book, her hand aching fiercely from all the signing she'd done but she did enjoy hearing how her book had touched the lives of so many women in the realm, a few of them having finally found the courage to seek help after being in abusive relationships for so many years.

"You look tired honey," Belle said softly and helped her to her feet. "I'll drive you over to the shop. David should still be there."

"Okay,"Beth said sleepily. She was exhausted and for a moment she feared the sleeping curse had returned with a vengeance but then she recalled that their Maleficent's death had broken it. She drifted off during the drive to the shop. Belle woke her up when they arrived.

"I hope they come back soon," she said to Rumple once they went back to their own house.

"Oh, I think they will." He handed her the copy of the deed to the cottage.

"He bought it? Good. And you, Rumplestiltskin Gold better have given them a fair price," she warned.

"I did!" he cried.

"Good or you get the couch tonight," she threatened with a smirk.

He grimaced."Why does that threat not work on Archie but it does on me?"

"Because I don't come down to be with you like Marie does with Archie. Once you're out, you're out for the night, _dearie_!' she laughed wickedly. "Did you ask them about Sunday?"

"Oh damn! I forgot!"

"Rumple!"

"Well we got to talking and I got distracted."

"Just for that you _do _get the couch."

"Belle, sweetheart…" he pleaded.

"I'm not changing my mind."

"Oh yes you will," he muttered.

"I will..._if _you call them right now and ask them?"

Knowing she would make good on her threat he took out his phone and frantically dialed David's cell number. The phone rang several times before it went to voicemail.

"No answer."

"Well then I guess you'll have to deliver your request in person."

"I get the couch if I don't?"

Belle smirked.

"Cruel and unusual punishment dearie." he muttered and grabbed his keys off the coffee table. He drove out to the lake, relived when he spotted the Molks' repaired convertible in the driveway and lights on the cabin. He got out and knocked on the door several times but did not get an answer.

"Now where have they wandered off to," he mumbled and started walking behind the house. "I suppose I'd better tell the crew to get to work building that dock." he added as he walked toward the lake. He spotted a blanket spread out on the grass illuminated by a battery operated lantern. There was a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket, music playing on a bluetooth speaker and clothes hastily discarded in the center of the blanket.

"Bloody hell! First Archie and Marie now these two!" he groaned, thinking he should just go back home and call them instead but he knew Belle would make good on her threat to exile him to the couch if he didn't deliver the invitation. "David? Beth? Are you here?"

"Rumple….ummm….what're you doing here?" David asked nervously.

Rumple turned to see the couple in the lake. Fortunately only their heads were visible.

"Belle wanted me to ask if you would come to dinner on Sunday but we got to talking and I completely forget all about it. I did call but your phone went to voicemail. I would have called again or left a note but I have been threatened with a couch exile if I didn't deliver her request to you in person."

"Oh boy! We don't want that. Tell her we'll be there!"

Beth giggled. "In our Sunday best!"

"As long as it's not your birthday suits, dearies!" Rumple quipped. "Good night!"

He could hear the Molks laughing while he walked back to his car.

Belle was waiting for him when he returned to the house. "Well?"

"They'll be here." Suddenly he started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, first we we catch Archie and Marie in your father's stable now I catch our guests skinny dipping in the lake."

"We haven't done that in while," she murmured.

"Yes...and I'd say we're a bit overdue aren't we?"

"We do have a pool." She wrapped her arms around him. "You set up the wards and meet me out back in a hour?"

"It's a deal, _mo chroi. _And the next time we go to the lake."

"Deal!" she cried and kissed him.

As promised, the Molks arrived at the Gold's Victoria promptly at 5pm that Sunday. It was their last night in the town, they would be returning to Bellefonte early the next morning. They also got the chance to meet the other couples' children, many of them reminding them of their own six.

"When you gonna come back?" Victoria, one of Belle and Rumple's triplets demanded.

"Soon we hope," Beth replied.

"Mister Molk, why's your hair gray? Are you older than my daddy?" AJ Hopper quizzed.

"AJ, please!" Archie moaned. "That's not polite."

"Umm….I don't know really but I started letting it grow in a year ago and my wife seems to like it."

"Does your dress change colors like Aurora's does in the movie?" Adrianna wanted to know.

"Not by magic. A friend of mine made me a dress that changes colors by touch or heat that I wore to a party once." Beth smiled at the memory.

"Why can your brother turn into a cricket and you can't?" Johnny quizzed.

"I probably could but I don't need to. I can still communicate with them though and my brother and I can talk telepathically. It's the twin thing. AJ and Maureen would be able to understand it and so would your cousins."

"And you got in-laws that are real dragons?" The eyes of Regina's eldest daughter Ellie lit up. "Like, real dragons?"

"DG is a red scaled dragon, Wyatt is blue and their kids have been every color of the rainbow."

"You hire any kid detectives?' Emma's daughter Maggie asked. "I'm real good at solvin cases. I helped find a kid that got kidnapped, didn't I Daddy?"

"You sure did Mags," Jeff declared proudly.

"I can be a mermaid and Bobby can be an otter or a cat!" Pearl Nolan bragged.

"I can make it rain and snow!" Maureen said.

"I wanna be an outlaw!" Roland cried. Robin facepalmed himself.

"Yeah and I'll be tossin your butt in the clink..or Maggie will! Right Maggie?"

"You got it Jonny."

"Think I'm gonna be a pilot. I like to fly," said little Rumple.

"We know, we know!" Robin and Regina exclaimed. "We discovered Rum can fly by himself and now we have a heck of a time keeping his feet on the ground," Robin added.

"Think I wanna be a vet," said Regina's nephew and adopted son, Jason.

"I'm gonna be an inventor like Gru and Doctor Nefario," said Neal Nolan.

Gisella smiled at her father. "I want to be like Daddy. Talk to people and help them feel better."

"You can be anything you want to be, Princess," Archie said softly.

"This is delicious!" Beth cried as she took a bite of her moussaka.

"Archie learned how to make it during our honeymoon in Greece," Marie said softly. "We went back a few years ago for a vacation. There and Italy."

"We've been to England and Scotland because we have family there, but I'd love to go to Greece or Italy."

"You should. It's beautiful," Belle said.

After he finished his dinner little Bobby shifted into cat form and jumped onto Beth's lap.

"Bobby!" Rumple cried.

"Oh, it's okay. He reminds me of Dak."

"Dak?"

"Our cat. He's named after…" Beth made a face. "Dak Prescott."

"Ewwww! Who'd wanna name a cat after a Dallas Cryboy!" Charming groaned.

Beth smirked and pointed at her husband.

"Hey, I didn't name him. The kids did and I wasn't gonna name him after a Pittsburgh Stinker like my mother-in-law did for the dog."

"The dog's name is Jesse," Beth explained. "I was born and bred a Penn Stare fan on Saturdays and Steeler fan on Sundays but HE is a Cowboy fan and so are our kids."

"Bet it was fun at your house when they played each other!" Snow giggled.

"Oh it was."

Belle frowned. "I never watch any sports. I'd rather read a book"

"I'd rather paint and draw. Mister and Mrs Molk, would you mind posing for me sometime?" Bae asked after dinner and the younger children had been put to bed.

"We haven't had our portraits done in centuries. I'd love to!" Beth cried.

"I could do an updated version of your original portraits and a modern one. What theme do you want?"

"I'd love a portrait based off our wedding picture. David was in full dress uniform and I wore my Sleeping beauty dress." Beth took a picture out of her wallet and handed it to him.

"I think I can work off this. Do you have a copy of your sixteenth century portraits?"

"If you go on the Earl of Mayford's website you'll find them," David said. "My sisters-in-law would love to talk to you. DG draws and paints like you do and Az is a sculptress."

"Oh! I bought one of her pieces at a gallery in Portland! Marie exclaimed. "The glass lovers."

"We keep it in our room because it's a bit ahhh..sensual," Archie said. "But Marie fell in love with it when she saw it and I couldn't say no. We've always loved seeing her work. It's tasteful but very sensual, much like Rodin."

"I'm told she uses real people in her work," Snow said.

"She does. David and I posed for the sculpture we have in our bedroom and the one you have must be the one she and Archie..ummm Jiminy used themselves as models for, Marie."

"I'd love to have one of Archie and me."

Archie blushed.

"In our wedding clothes honey," she reassured him.

"And I'd want one of us." Belle said softly.

"I'm sure Az would be happy to do if you asked but it may take a while. She's been in high demand lately."

"We'll wait."

Once it started getting dark the Molks bid their goodbyes and returned to their cottage to pack. They awoke early on Monday morning and loaded up the car, taking one last look at their newest home away from home.

"I hope we can come back soon."

"We will Sleeping Beauty, we will," David murmured and kissed her. They got in the car and drove away, unaware that in just a few months the realms would be united at last.


	17. Elsa, Don't Leave Home Without Her

Juno Beach, Florida

Spring, 2016

One of the first gifts David and Beth bought their daughter Cami after her birth was a set of large Elsa and Anna plush dolls from the movie Frozen. Cami loved them from the moment she received them, especially Elsa. The doll was her constant companion no matter where she went and treated it as if it were a living being, too young to understand that it was only a toy. Seeing her daughter interacting with the plush doll made Beth think back to her own childhood and how she was the same way with the mermaid dolls she owned. Now those dolls were kept in a curio cabinet that was once her grandmother's for display only.

"David….we're out of sauce. Can you run down to Publix for me?" Beth asked him from the kitchen doorway while she was cooking dinner. David was in the living room watching Frozen with Cami. Devon and Jasper were outside playing with Diego's children Miguel and Alexis The little girl was sitting on his lap holding her Elsa plushie with her Anna plushie on the sofa next to them.

"Okay….Cami, Daddy has to go bye bye for a little bit. You can watch Frozen with Mommy until I get back."

"Go bye bye with Daddy!" Cami protested and held out her arms for her father.

"All right, sweetie. Let's go." David scooped her up and as he was reaching for his keys by the doorway, Cami burst into tears. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Elsa go bye bye!" she wailed, trying to reach for the doll, forgetting that it was on the other side of the room. "Mommy, want Elsa!"

Beth giggled and grabbed the doll off the sofa, handing it to her husband.

"We'll be back in a little bit."

Normally David listened to his own music when he was in the car alone but when he had one of the kids with him, he always made sure the music on his docking station was kid friendly. Cami's playlist was the Frozen soundtrack and she was always trying to sing along with it even though she didn't know how to pronounce all the words yet or she sat back and listened to her father singing. The drive to Publix was only three minutes long when traffic wasn't backed up and fortunately he'd managed to avoid rush hour.

"Okay, sweetie, let's go," he said softly, taking Elsa from Cami's arms and setting the plushie on the seat while he took her out of her car seat.

"Daddy….Elsa go shop!" she wailed.

Now where am I going to fit that thing in the cart? he pondered, thanking his lucky stars Jasper and Devon didn't insist on taking a large stuffed toy with them everywhere they went. He grabbed one of the carts that looked like a large toy race car and put Cami in the seat with the toy beside her. Devon loved riding in them but Beth always carried Cami when they went to the store together.

Though she'd only asked him to pick up sauce David knew there were a few other items they needed and decided to pick them while he was already out. When they entered the frozen food section Cami smiled and pointed to the freezers. "Daddy! Elsa food!"

He chuckled. "That's right, sweetie. We're in the frozen section."

She pointed to the ice cream freezer. "That Elsa food! Gotta get Elsa food, Daddy!"

He bought several half gallons of ice cream knowing Beth liked eating it for a late night snack but in his daughter's mind it was for the plush toy in the seat beside her. She pointed at a box of Klondike bars, recalling her mother making Frozen inspired treats with them.

"Daddy, Mommy make Elsa bar!"

He added them to the cart, enjoying eating them himself. "I think Elsa has plenty of food now, don't you?" he asked her.

"Uh-huh!" she nodded enthusiastically.

"Your granddaughter is adorable!" an elderly lady pushing a cart next to him remarked. Cami turned to her with a frown on her face.

"Not my gampie! My daddy!" she corrected.

"Oh…oh! She's still adorable!"

"Thank you," David said, beaming with pride. She wasn't the first stranger to assume Cami was his granddaughter nor would she be the last but in her generation men his age were grandparents, not having children or still raising them. "Come on, sweetie. Mommy needs that sauce for dinner and we don't want Elsa's food to melt, do we?"

She shook her head.

Beth was waiting outside when he pulled into the driveway, taking Cami out of her car seat and carrying her into the house while David unloaded the groceries.

"Mommy! Elsa!" Cami panicked.

"Oh sh…shoot! I left her in the car!" he mumbled and ran outside. When he got back his daughter was sitting on sofa frowning at him. He handed her the doll and she hugged it to her chest tightly. "Honey, I didn't mean to leave Elsa in the car…"

"You not leave Elsa in the car!" She shook her finger at him.

Beth giggled behind him. He turned to her and scowled. "Are we gonna go through this every time?"

"If she's anything like me, yes."

He groaned.

Later on that night Beth was getting her ready for her bath. "Mommy, Elsa bath!"

"Sweetie, Elsa can't go in the tub."

"Elsa bath!"

"She can't take a ba….oh no!" Cami grabbed the doll off the counter and set it in the tub with her. "Cami, come on…give her to me…we have to dry her off."

"Elsa need bath."

"David, you'd better come in here!"

David ran into the bathroom. "Beth, what…oh no! She didn't!"

"She did!" Beth moaned, pointing to the soaking wet plush doll.

He shook his head. "Now how the heck are we gonna dry the thing?"

"Better Google it," she advised.

Their daughter was content to have her faithful companion in the tub with her while she took a bath while her poor parents were faced with the dilemma of what to do with a soaking wet plush toy. They knew they had to dry it or it would smell of mildew or worse…mold and they would have to throw it out. Leaving Beth to distract her, David went downstairs and turned on his laptop, searching for ways to dry stuffed toys.

"Sweetie, I gotta take Elsa for little bit," he said to his daughter. Beth was changing her into her nightgown.

"Why?"

"She has to get dried after a bath or she'll get sick. You don't want her to get sick, do you?"

"Nooooo!"

Once he was out of the room he stuffed the toy into a pillowcase according the instructions he found online and put it in the dryer. "She was mad enough when I left the thing in the car but if she catches me putting it in the dryer she's not gonna speak to me again!"

He hoped the solution worked because he didn't want his daughter catching him throwing her favorite toy out either and getting his hands on another one was not going to be easy.

Upstairs, Beth read Cami a story from one of her Frozen books while she waited for David to return with Elsa knowing their daughter was not going to go to sleep unless the toy was in bed with her. Normally she would read to all three children but Jasper and Devon had asked to sleep over at Miguel's. It didn't matter to Cami if her Anna doll was there or not, she had to have Elsa too. Beth and David were trying to have another daughter for Cami so that she wouldn't be so dependent on her plushie for companionship.

"Elsa dry?" Cami demanded impatiently.

"Not yet, honey." David had been in the laundry room for two hours. Finally he raced into the room carrying a dry Elsa and handed her to Cami.

"Daddy, Elsa hot!"

"Ummm…yeah…but she's all dry now so she won't get sick." Cami smiled and wrapped her arms around the doll. Minutes later she was asleep. As soon as they were alone in their bedroom, David sank down on the bed, sighing with relief. "I hope I never have to do that again! Felt like it took forever to dry the damn thing!"

Beth laughed. "My mother never had to worry about that…my toys were plastic."

"Tell me she's gonna grow out of it," he pleaded.

"Eventually but for now we're gonna have to get used to it."

"Well at least it's teaching her a few things. When we were in the freezer section she knew what it was but called it 'Elsa food'. Then when a lady stopped me to tell me my granddaughter was adorable she corrected her by telling her I wasn't her 'gampie' but her daddy. I guess she thinks men aren't raising little kids at my age."

"Or women but we are and probably doing a better job at it than some younger parents because neither of us thought we'd have an opportunity like this before we got married."

He kissed her. "We are lucky, aren't we?"

They called their sons and checked on their daughter one more time before they went to bed. Cami was still asleep with Elsa by her side, a small smile on her lips. It didn't matter to the little girl that her friend was only a stuffed toy, Elsa was her best friend until her parents gave her an even more special gifts, two sisters that would become her best friends for life.


	18. Mindgame

**Mindgame **

**Author's Notes: Peri Carlyle first appeared in A Magical Kingdom Mishap and reappeared in How The Queen Stole Christmas of The Gold Standard and Gold Chronicles and it was always my intention to make her Peri Brown from Seasons 21-23 of Classic Doctor Who. The story begins at Christmas, 2018 and goes back in time ****to past seasons ****of Classic Doctor Who and also references the Big Finish audiodrama The Last Adventure which gives the Sixth Doctor a true regeneration story ****and the Eighth Doctor's own audiodrama ranges which I recommend giving a listen ****. ****At the end there is a major spoiler for The Dark Element **

**The United Realms**

**December 25, 2018**

It was the noise that first caught Peri Carlyle's attention. Grinding, followed by a brief flash of light and then it appeared. It had been more than thirty years since she'd last heard that noise and seen the object that made it and never thought she would ever hear it again. She wasn't even sure she wanted to. She pulled back the curtains and watched as twelve men and a woman emerged from the blue police box that had appeared on Rumple Strogoff's lawn. She immediately recognized three of the men but the sight of one of them made her shiver and her throat tightened.

_You don't even know what a peri is do you, Peri? _

_No. _

_I'll tell you. A peri is a good and beautiful fairy in Persian mythology. The interesting thing is, before it became good, it was evil. And that's what you are. Thoroughly evil._

_Doctor, stop it!_

_No. No, not even a fairy. An alien spy, sent here to spy on me. Well, we all know the fate of alien spies!_

She clutched at her throat and began gasping for air, her cries bringing her husband running out of the bathroom.

"Peri! Peri!" he cried.

"Can't….breathe!" she panted.

Nick grabbed her purse and took out her inhaler. She took several puffs before she handed it back to him.

"What's wrong?"

"It…It's him….IT'S HIM!" she screamed and ran into his arms. "He's come to kill me!"

"Like hell," Nick opened the drawer beside the bed and took out his gun. "He makes a move on you and I'll keep shooting him until he regenerates. How the hell did he find you? Didn't the Time Lords tell him you were dead?"

"Someone must've told him I'm not," she murmured. "And you can't shoot him. He's already regenerated."

"I'll go downstairs and find out what's going on. I want you to stay here."

"Nick…"

"I mean it."

She nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, hugging herself tightly.

**Lanzarote, Canary Islands**

**Summer, 1985 **

"…I've found Peri."

Those were the words Professor Howard Foster had been waiting a year to hear. The moment he returned to the ship to find Peri and the artifact from his salvage operation gone he'd feared she'd done what she'd threatened and gone off with boys she'd just met to Morocco. He'd immediately contacted the police and they brought the men in for questioning, but they denied they'd seen Peri. The police began an extensive search of the islands and found no trace of the girl and there'd been no reports of the artifact being sold.

"Maybe she's gone back to New York," his wife said. They contacted the authorities in New York and they too hadn't had any sightings of the missing girl. One month after Peri's disappearance the body of a young American college student washed ashore. Though it was not Peri, the student had been seen with the same two boys Peri encountered prior to her disappearance and both were arrested on suspicion of murder.

"You're thinking those boys killed my stepdaughter, aren't you, Carlyle?"

"Aye," he replied. Nick Carlyle had been born in Scotland but had moved to Lanzarote when his mother remarried. He and his stepfather were never close and for a while he'd wanted to go back to Scotland but eventually, he learned to love his new home.

"Can you prove it?"

"I'm going to try but it won't be easy Professor."

It was his first major case and Nick Carlyle had been true to his word when he said he was going to try to prove those boys were guilty. He worked the case day and night, following every possible lead, the image of the beautiful young botany student haunting him every night.

"We were able to locate a third boy who told us they've been approaching young attractive students with the same promise of a trip to Morocco but when they show up, they lace their drinks with drugs and sexually assault them. This boy admits they killed Cary Reese and threw her off the boat."

"What about Peri?"

"They still deny having seen her after their initial encounter Professor. I'm hoping some time in prison will loosen their tongues more and one of them will finally admit what they did with Peri but until then I'm afraid she is still considered a missing person."

"So you're just going to give up."

"No," Nick said. "I'll work this case on my own time if I have to."

"Thank you. Her mother and I appreciate all you've done."

He would work other cases during the day but every night he would patrol the coast, hoping that some new lead would surface and for several weeks there was nothing. One night as he was about to return to his flat there was a flash of light followed by the sound of something being thrown in the water. He raced down to the shore in time to see a body floating in the sea. He dived in and swam toward it. To his relief the woman was still alive but unconscious. He swam them back to shore and laid her on the sand. She wore a purple and pink silk jacket, pink blouse and lavender capris. A cloth surgical mask and gauze covered her mouth, her head had been shaven and there were ligature marks on her wrists and ankles.

"What did they do to you Peri," he whispered. "What did they do?"

"Doctor…" he heard her mumble as he ripped the mask and gaze from her mouth.

"It's all right, Peri. It's going to be all right." He picked her up carefully and carried her ashore, frantically knocking on the door of the first house he saw, identifying himself and asking them to contact his station.

While Peri was being transported to the hospital, he asked to borrow the phone one more time, this time to place the call Professor Foster and his wife Janine had been waiting to receive.

Peri had returned but she was not the bright, bubbly young woman the Fosters remembered. She barely spoke and when she did, nothing she said made any sense to them. She babbled about traveling through space and time in a blue police box with someone called 'The Doctor' and that the Earth would be moved out of its orbit in the 24th century, renamed Ravalox.

"Those boys have destroyed her mind," Howard said angrily while his wife wept.

"Professor I'd love to charge them, I really do, but Peri denies they had anything to do with her disappearance. Our case is weak without her. All we can do is go forward with the Reese case."

"Thank you for all your help Nick," Janine said softly.

The case was closed but not in Nick's mind even when the Fosters returned to the States. He was still determined to find out the truth of what had happened to Peri. No one at the station was shocked when he began applying for jobs in the States, finally being accepted by the Orlando Police Department. The Fosters had moved to Orlando in the fall of 1987 and Peri had returned to college to finish her degree. She barely remembered the kind detective from Lanzarote but her mother and stepfather spoke of him often.

"Officer Carlyle!" she exclaimed when she spotted him eating lunch at her favorite café. "What are you doing in the States?"

"I live here now," he replied. "It's good to see you again, Peri."

She pulled out a chair and sat down. "It's good to see you too but are you…stalking me or something?"

His eyes widened. "I never would….I just…I'm just hoping you might be able to tell me what really happened."

"I did tell you. I wasn't kidnapped Nick. I left….and I came back."

"What was all that about the Doctor and a police box."

"Howard and my mother think I'm crazy but I'm not. The Doctor is real and the time traveling police box is real. That's where I was…traveling with him….until he abandoned me."

"Peri…"

"I'm not expecting you to believe me either but I was hoping you would."

"Peri, you had a traumatic experience and…."

"I'm not!" she hissed. "All right Officer Carlyle, if you want proof here is where you go to get it!" She scribbled names onto a piece of paper and thrust it at him. "Goodbye Officer and thank you for all you've done for me," she added before she stormed off.

**Delhi, India **

**March, 1987**

"You've traveled a long way to see us Officer Carlyle," Ben Jackson said in greeting when Nick arrived at the orphanage Peri's note had directed him to a few days later. "May I ask what this is about?"

"Well...ahhh...I was asked to speak to you by a young woman named Peri Brown."

"I don't know anyone named Peri," Polly said.

"The Doctor?"

They flinched.

"Are you his new companion?" Polly asked.

"No but Peri tells me she was. Are you saying this Doctor is real?"

"He is but Polly and I haven't seen him in years," Ben said. "Why has this Peri sent you to us? Is the Doctor in some sort of trouble."

"He is with me if I find him," Nick growled. "First tell me how you two know him and what the hell he is!"

Polly and Ben told Nick how they first met The Doctor in 1966, helping him stop a self aware computer from seizing control of the computer systems of the world, its primary targets political and military systems.

Nick made a face.

"Really? You're telling me this thing was Skynet?" he asked sarcastically, referring to the defense network computer from a movie he'd seen recently.

"It wouldn't surprise me if the writers of the Terminator movie had heard of the WOTAN project," Polly said. "It was supposed to be classified. And it was far more dangerous than Skynet because it had the ability to control human minds. I speak from experience."

"So this Doctor travels through time and space in a blue police box….and he can change his appearance?"

"Yes. Polly and I witnessed it first hand."

"You left him in 1967 and he had a companion from the past with him?"

"Jamie McCrimmon. A very nice young man," Polly said with a smile. "We somehow landed in Scotland in the middle of the Jacobite rebellion and brought him along with us but like other companions we started to get tired of traveling and wanted to be in one place and time. Not all of the Doctor's companions have been so fortunate. Some have died." Polly opened a drawer in the filing cabinet and handed him a folder. In it were classified documents on a British government project called WOTAN along with references to an incident that was supposed to have occurred that December at a base in the South Pole.

"These Cybermen were from a planet that was supposed to be the twin to ours?"

"Mondas," Ben replied. "They needed the energy from Earth to save Mondas but it blew up anyway."

"Peri claimed that the Cybermen intended to go back in time to prevent Mondas from being destroyed by diverting Haley's Comet to hit us, leaving us weak enough for a full scale invasion."

"Then she traveled with the Doctor to a time when that was supposed to happen. I'm surprised how well you're taking this Officer."

"It's hard to believe but after everything I've seen with Peri, I'm keeping an open mind."

"Why is The Doctor in trouble with you?"

Nick told them about Peri's mysterious disappearance and sudden reappearance a year later, traumatized and showing signs of having been tortured. The couple was stunned. This was not the Doctor they knew, or had they really known him at all?

"That poor girl," Polly cried. "The Doctor we knew never would have done that! He had his moments but he never, never would have attacked one of us!"

"I don't know what the hell happened to him but he's gone crazy," Nick muttered. "And if I see him, I'll shoot him until he can't change again."

"He doesn't contact us once we leave. That I know for sure. But those of us still living keep in touch with each other. A lovely young woman named Sarah Jane Smith talks to us often and we've gotten letters from a woman named Jo who traveled with him too."

"We'd like to meet Peri if she's willing."

"I suppose I could ask her. She's angry with me right now because I didn't believe her but as I said you've shown me enough that I have an open mind."

Nick stayed in India another day before traveling back to England to talk with the woman Ben and Polly called Sarah Jane Smith. She was a journalist living in London and confirmed the couple's claims that she had indeed traveled with the Doctor and he'd changed his appearance two more times. Nick was astounded to discover that this Doctor could appear old or young and his personality would change along with his appearance. She'd enjoyed traveling with the younger version of the Doctor more and in the years they'd been together she considered him a best friend.

"So the last time you saw him there were five of him?" Nick asked.

"Yes." She handed him a photo album. The faces on the pages did not match the description Peri had given him of the Doctor she'd traveled with. Sarah also found it difficult to believe the Doctor would have harmed Peri but admitted she knew very little about how his regeneration process worked.

"He told Peri there were side effects that went away with time."

Sarah frowned. "Something must have gone wrong, very wrong for him to behave like that."

"Whatever it was, it has the poor girl in fear of him."

"It must be connected to those experiments on Thoros Beta. Perhaps I should travel back to the States with you to see this Peri. It may help smooth things over with you."

"I would appreciate that Miss Smith."

"Call me Sarah."

Nick and Sarah returned to the States two days later. Peri immediately recognized Sarah from some photographs she'd seen on the TARDIS.

"You believe me now?" she whispered.

"It's hard not to given what I've seen," he murmured. "I'm sorry Peri, but you have to understand why I doubted you."

"I'm sorry too. Can you forgive me?"

"If you forgive me."

Sarah stood back and merely observed with a smile. Peri lived in fear of the Doctor now but in time she would come to understand that the man he'd become on Thoros Beta was not the real Doctor. She only hoped the poor girl would meet another version of him that would be kinder.

Peri had enjoyed Sarah's company and had promised that they would remain in touch after Sarah returned to England but she found herself wondering what would happen with Nick now that he knew the truth. She had her answer a week later when a very nervous Nick Carlyle showed up at the flower shop where she was working and asked her out on a date.

It was time to leave her past behind and start a new life.

**The United Realms **

**Christmas, 2018 **

"…Calling you lot Doctor is going to be confusing, so we'd like to give you names," Rumple was saying when Nick walked into the ballroom.

"Why don't we name 'em after the people who play 'em on TV?" Killian Gold suggested.

"Yeah we could but we got two Peters. Still gonna be confusing," Neal Nolan pointed out.

Jeff Hatter smirked. "Why don't we call the Twelfth Doctor Malcolm."

"NO!" the Rumples yelled.

"Come on guys, he's not like your fathers."

"We dinna care. He can have any other name but THAT one!" Rumple Laufeyson growled.

"I was thinking of Malcolm Tucker." Jeff chuckled, referring to the foul-mouthed lead character from the BBC political comedy The Thick of It.

"Bloody hell! You want to name him after that foul mouth!" Selene Dearly exclaimed.

"Every other word out of that man's mouth is the f word," her husband mumbled. "Thank God I turned the sound off when AJ came in while you were watching it."

"Yeah we gotta have a good Malcolm. Come on Daddy," Hope pleaded and gave her father a sad look. The other Rumples' children followed suit.

"Fine," they exclaimed.

"I don't know I rather like the bloke who plays me," the Tenth Doctor grinned.

"Yeah but we got lotsa Davids here too." Jonny Bordreaux reminded them.

"You look like a friend of ours, Inspector Hardy. I don't think he'd mind if you use his first name," Anita Dearly suggested. "It's Alex."

"Hmmm…all right. Alex it is then."

The other doctors agreed to use the first names of the actors portraying them on TV. Nick was only interested in one. Colin. The Sixth Doctor was standing beside the fireplace observing in silence.

"I want to talk to you. Outside," Nick growled.

"What about?"

"Peri."

Colin flinched. "You…you knew Peri?"

"I know Peri and I know what you did to her!" Nick hissed. "Outside. Now!"

_Could it be true? _Colin pondered as he followed the man named Nick outside. The fate of his first companion preyed on his mind constantly.

_The young woman, Miss Perpuguilliam Brown is alive and well and living as a warrior Queen with King Yrcanos. _

_That's not the Peri I know. She befriended him but she never would have married him. No. Peri is dead. She was dead the moment Crozier transferred Kiv's mind into her body. She is dead…and it is my fault and theirs! They took me out of time so that I would stop my investigation of why Earth was moved and renamed Ravalox. They didn't care about Peri. She was expendable as I was. _

"What do you know of Peri?" Colin demanded once they were alone. _"Is she dead? _Did they lie to me? Tell me…_is she dead?" _

"No. She's alive but she's not Yrcanos's queen. The weapon Yrcanos used in Crozier's lab killed them all but her before the transfer could be completed. She was sent back to 1985."

"How do you know her?"

"She's my wife."

Colin breathed a sigh of relief. "So they lied…again."

"Yeah they lied but what I wanna know from you is what really happened on Thoros Beta."

Colin sighed. "A game. Their mind game…"

**Thoros Beta**

**25****th**** Century **

His mind was in a fog the moment they'd freed him from the machine but there was little time for him to compose himself when Yrcanos and Peri wanted to put as much space between them and their captors as possible. They'd gotten him to a place of safety, yet something still wasn't quite right with him. It was as if his true self had been extracted by the machine and something else put in, something darker and in that darkness, he'd done the unthinkable…he'd betrayed Perri and placed her in harm's way again.

He'd had her taken outside the cave, chained her to the rocks and interrogated her mercilessly, making it clear that if there were a choice to be made between her life and his, he would save himself before her. Once he'd finished with her, they'd been taken back inside.

"What's happened to you Doctor? Why do you hate me so?"

"I must do what I think is best," he replied indifferently.

"I used to think that you were different. That you cared for justice, truth and good. I can't bear to look at what you are now!"

He'd been thinking of a cold reply when Yrcanos attacked, phaser ready to kill when Peri leapt at him, knocking the device out of his hands. The Doctor, seizing the opportunity, fled to Crozier's lab as the Mentors were about to transfer Kiv's consciousness into another creature but Kiv was rejecting the new body. Another would be needed and now the choice was clear…either Peri or the Doctor's body would be needed and as the fog cleared from his mind the Doctor realized that he now had one mission….to save Peri. He'd nearly reached her when he felt himself being transported to his TARDIS.

**The United Realms **

**December 25, 2018**

"…This Valyard you're talking about. Are you absolutely certain he exists?"

"He does. He is what I will become. He is my death and I am his."

"Wait here. I still have more questions for you."

Determined to find out more about the man Colin referred to as 'The Valyard', Nick sought out the person who would have more knowledge of him, meaning Sylvester, Colin's successor. He found Sylvester in the playroom entertaining the children with his slight of hand tricks.

"May I borrow you for a minute?" he asked.

"Yeah but you better bring him back!" Ian Strogoff warned. "We wanna see the rest of his stuff!"

"Calm down lad I'm just going to talk to him a few minutes."

Curious, Sylvester followed Nick to the pool area, seeing his predecessor waiting outside, tinkering with his broken pocket watch nervously.

"What's this all about?"

"The Valyard."

Sylvester flinched.

"What of him?"

"Have you seen him?"

"Have I? He is the reason I exist." He craned his head in Colin's direction. "I fought him one more time after the events in the Matrix and it killed me. I was dying from the radiation he'd exposed me to when the Rani attacked my TARDIS and forced it to crash on Lykertia. I'd already lost Peri…I didn't want to lose Mel too, so I did what Peter did before me. I died so my companion could live." His eyes narrowed. "But after seeing all that horror I realized I could not be so easily manipulated again. If there was a game to be played, it would be played by my rules."

"I see."

"Do you? You've seen as much horror as I have. Has it changed you?"

"I won't deny it, but are you saying you have to become the Valyard?"

"As the Master said, there is evil in all of us, even me. My becoming the Valyard is inevitable."

"No, it's a choice, one I see you would make without hesitation, but you can't speak for your future selves. They seem to have evolved."

"Have we? How many times have those selves walked the fine line between darkness and light? It will be more often than you think I believe."

Not content to wait any longer, Peri went downstairs expecting to find Nick still talking to the Doctor. He was, but not to her Doctor. He was nowhere in sight. She grabbed her coat and boots from the foyer and went outside, finally spotting her Doctor in the garden leaning against a tree holding his old pocket watch in his hand. A small smile formed on her lips when she recalled the day she'd accidently broken it scaling a wall on Necros. He held it up with a smile.

"Fixed at last," he murmured.

"Doctor?"

He turned his head slowly at the familiar voice.

"Peri," he whispered. She was older yet there were still some traces of that beautiful feisty girl he saw when he emerged from his regeneration on Androzani.

"You're looking….well." she said nervously.

"I knew they were lying. Somehow I knew in my hearts they were lying," he said. "You were kind to Yrcanos but he wasn't your type. This Nick fellow seems to love you a great deal."

"He does. We've had a good life and we have great kids, Doctor."

"Colin."

"What?"

"Oh, there's so many of us that they decided to name most of us after the blokes who play us on that TV show. I'm Colin and I rather like it."

"Colin it is then."

"You have questions for me."

"You know I do. What happened to you on Thoros Beta, Colin? Why did you turn on me like that? You promised me you would never hurt me after that first time. You promised!"

"I know I did, and I intended to keep that promise Peri but when they hooked me up to that machine all that madness from the beginning of my regeneration was put back in. It took me a while to break through it but when I finally did it was too late. They took me out of time and sent me back to Gallifrey to stand trial."

"Why?"

"Because we were right. Ravalox is Earth. It was taken out of its orbit by a magnetron that was only in its infant stages of development which was why it was nearly destroyed by a fireball. Alex, that's one of my future selves, says that Davros and the Daleks somehow developed one that actually works and moved the Earth again."

"Why? Why did they move the Earth that time?"

"Well, to cover up the largest hacking conspiracy in the universe."

"You have got to be kidding me! Hacking into what?"

"The Matrix."

Peri scowled. "Now I know you're insane. The Matrix is a movie, Colin."

"Not to the Time Lords, Peri. The Matrix is the largest data network in the cosmos and the information in there is worth killing for to get…or to protect." His blue eyes narrowed to slits. "And I have my suspicions Crozier got the ideas for his mind experiments from there. Because we are born telepathic, we Time Lords should be resistant to any outside attempts at mental manipulation. That machine should have had no affect on me…unless its design was based on Time Lord technology that can only be found in the Matrix."

"I don't understand…why did they do that to you?"

"To discredit me. I've always been a thorn in their sides but useful when it suits them. They didn't want me to know what was going on with Ravalox any more than they wanted me to know that one day I will become the universe's greatest evil, far greater than the Master."

"I don't think anyone can be more evil than him," Peri scoffed. "That's nonsense. You have your flaws, but you don't hurt anyone intentionally."

"But I have hurt people intentionally. You're proof of that."

"And beating yourself up over it. How does that make you more evil than the Master? He doesn't care who he hurts. You do. Who told you you're going to become this great evil? The Master? You know how he lies."

"I've seen him Peri, and I don't think I'm the only one of my future selves who has but I cannot ask them because I would be interfering in my own history. I'm caught doing that, they will put me to death and the others will have never existed."

She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I was afraid of seeing you again after all these years because I thought that horrible person you'd become on Thoros Beta was still there but it's not. They used you just like they used me. They could've told you the truth about what happened to me, but they didn't to make you suffer. Why do you still obey them after everything they've done?"

"It seems I don't now, but my suffering is of no consequence. No harm should have come to you. My only consolation is that you were saved from becoming that monster Kiv's vessel. Now I can return to my own time knowing you have a good life."

"I wish you wouldn't," Peri confessed.

"Return to my own time? But I must Peri. It's dangerous for two of the same Time Lord to be together at the same time. It only happens in emergency situations but too much and it can disrupt the space-time continuum."

"It's Christmas and we're in a house filled with witches, warlocks and gods. What if one of them found a way to make it so that you never had to worry about that again?"

"I don't think it's possible Peri."

"But what if it was?"

"It still wouldn't work Peri. Each of us has a fixed point in time we must adhere to and mine will come. Soon, I should think."

"Well not today. It's Christmas and I want you to stay here with me and my family. Come on."

She held out her arm. He smiled and linked it through his as they walked back to the house. Nick was waiting for them in the foyer as they took off their coats and shoes.

"I've asked Colin to stay," Peri informed him.

"Everything all right then?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now I think it's time we told everyone who you really are Miss Perpugulliam Brown."

"Peri Carlyle," she corrected with a smile.

The other Doctors eyed Peri curiously when she walked into the ballroom with Colin and Nick.

"Peri, where have you been. We were worried." Belle said softly.

"Talking to an old friend," she said with a smile and placed her hand on Colin's shoulder.

Peter, the Fifth Doctor stepped forward. "Peri? Is it really you? Our Peri?" he asked his successor.

"It is indeed," Colin confirmed.

"Oh my God I can't believe it Annie! Your mom was a Doctor companion!" Killian exclaimed.

"Mommy, were you really?" her son Bobby inquired.

"Yes."

"So they were lying after all," Sylvester said bitterly. "What did they do you?"

"Why don't we all sit down and I'll tell you?" Peri suggested.

**Colin's TARDIS 1986**

_Each of us has a fixed point in time we must adhere to and mine will come. Soon, I should think._

Colin sighed heavily as he fell to the floor. It was time. "So that's it. Ah well. I've had a good innings. All those lives I have lived... I hope the footprint I leave will be... light, but apposite…"

"It's far from being over." Sylvester whispered.

"What said that? Who is that? Who's there?" Colin demanded, looking around. Was that Sylvester? He'd met that version of himself over Christmas in the United Realms but he hadn't really gotten an answer as to whether he would be the one to succeed him or one of the others. The TARDIS console sprang to life again. "Change. I feel it. Yes, I will regenerate!"

"Yes, I will regenerate," Sylvester murmured as he watched his predecessor's final moments from the monitor of his own TARDIS.

"Our future is in safe hands," they said together as Colin took his final breath.

Sylvester switched the monitor off when he heard the main doors open and Ace strolled into the TARDIS.

"What're you watching Professor?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing."

"Where are we going now?"

"London, 1963. There's something I need to collect."

And the Hand of Omega was not to be trifled with. The Time Lords had not branded him a criminal for the theft of an old TARDIS, for he'd stolen one of the most powerful weapons ever created by the Time Lords and buried it on Earth for safekeeping, a weapon they desperately wanted back but they would get it back over his dead body.

There was a flash of white light and the Ozian goddess Ozmalita appeared in the console room. The Doctor's body glowed signifying that his regeneration had begun. She knelt beside him and waved her hand over his chest, chanting in her native language. Moments later a glowing white orb appeared in her hand. She then summoned a box that she placed it in. She had more stops to make.

"Peri's gift to you Doctor….a new life, a better one than you've had before," she murmured and vanished.

The main doors opened and the renegade time lord Rani walked in as Colin's face and body began to change into that of Sylvester.

"Leave the girl. It's the man I want," she instructed her companion. "Take him to my laboratory."

**William's TARDIS 1966**

"Doctor, open up!" William heard Ben and Polly shouting outside while he leaned over the console. He flipped the switch to let them in and fall to the floor.

"Doctor, what happened!' Polly cried as she raced to his aid. "Please, help him!'

"No, leave him," ordered Ben, certain the Doctor was beyond any help now. Just as Polly's hand moved his scarf away from his face it and everything else in the TARDIS froze.

"William," Ozmalita murmured, a white orb in her hand. "You were the first and the one who made them all what they are. Now you must make a new life for yourself with your beloved granddaughter Susan. She is waiting for you."

She placed the orb in the box beside Colin's and vanished. Now before Ben and Polly's astonished eyes William was gone and Patrick, the cosmic hobo, lay in his place.

**Gallifrey, 1969**

His companions were gone, returned to their own times and he had been put on trial for breaking one of the oldest laws of time but he'd had his reasons. There was so much evil in the universe that he could no longer ignore...the Daleks...the Cybermen...the Ice Warriors...and the human race itself. It was its own worst enemy.

"We have accepted that there is evil in the universe that must be fought and that you still have a part to play in that battle."

"What do you mean...that you're going to let me go free?" Patrick asked.

"Not entirely. We have noted your particular interest in the planet Earth. The frequency of your visits must have given you special knowledge of that world and its problems."

"Yeah. Yes, I suppose that's true. Earth seems more vulnerable than others, yes."

"For that reason you will be sent back to that planet."

"Oh. Good."

"In exile."

"In exile?"

"You will be sent to Earth in the 20th century and will remain there for as long as wee deem proper and for that period the secret of the TARDIS will be taken from you."

"But you can't condemn me to exile on one primitive planet in one century and time! Besides, I'm known on the Earth. It might be very awkward for me!"

"Your appearance has changed before and it will change again and that is part of the sentence."

"You can't just change what I look like without consulting me!"

"You will have an opportunity to choose your appearance."

Choose? The choices he'd been given were in his mind, awful. He'd heard of Time Lords testing the ability to choose their appearance but he'd never heard of anyone doing it successfully in their second regeneration. It usually took three or four tries before they finally got it right and by the time they reached their final regenerations they lamented on wasting the others out of vanity, never knowing that he would one day do this himself. His one moment of vanity however, had given birth to the brilliant Doctor Donna and the Meta Crisis Doctor but Donna had been the one who saved them all from the madness of Davros.

"Since you've refused to take the decision, the decision will be taken for you."

"No, I never said that but I maintain I have the right to decide what I look like! It could be very important on the Earth. I...people on Earth…"

"The time has come for you to change your appearance Doctor and begin your exile."

"Not an exile this time," Ozmalita murmured, taking a glowing white orb from Patrick's chest. "The Earth has become your home but now I think you want to be back with the best friend you lost, not in his time but in yours." She smiled. "Happy wandering my friend."

The TARDIS began to spin through the time vortex as Patrick's face became Jon's.

**UNIT Headquarters 1974 **

A weak and exhausted Jon opened the TARDIS door to find a very worried Sarah Jane on the other side.

"I got lost in the time vortex. The TARDIS brought me home." He pressed his hand to his forehead and fell to the floor at the Brigidier's feet. The Brig grabbed a cushion and placed it under his head.

"Oh Doctor, why did you have to go back?"

"I had to face my fear Sarah. I had to face my fear. That is more important than us going on living."

"Please, don't die."

"A tear, Sarah Jane?" he toched her cheek gently. "Now don't cry...while this life…"

Sarah Jane closed his eyes. For a few minutes she and the Brig sat in silence until she sensed a familiar presence in the room and turned to see the Doctor's old friend sitting on the counter.

"It is alright. He is not dead."

"No...I don't think I can take much more."

"I am sorry to have startled you my dear."

"Won't you introduce me to your friend Miss Smith?' the Brig asked.

"This is the abbot of...no...it's Choji. I mean it looks like Choji but it is really K'ampo Rimpoche. I think."

"Thank you, that makes everything quite clear." It didn't but the Brig didn't want to press the issue.

"The Doctor is alive." K'ampo insisted.

"No, you're wrong. He's dead."

"All the cells in his body have been devastated by the Metabilis crystals but you forget he is a Time Lord. I will give the process a little push and the cells will regenerate. He will become a new man."

"Literally?" the Brig asked.

"Of course he will look quite different."

"Not again!"

"And it will shake up the brain cells a little. You may find his behavior somewhat erratic."

"Well when will all this happen?' Sarah inquired.

"Well, there's no time like the present, is there? Goodbye. Look after him," he instructed Sarah.

"Now, wait a moment!" the Brig protested.

"Look, Brigadier, look! I think it's starting!"

"Well, here we go again!" he sighed.

Ozmalita knelt beside the regenerating time lord, a white orb floating into the box she held.

"You've faced your fears Jon and now you can be reborn into a life where you won't have so many," she said softly and disappeared as Jon's face transformed into Tom's.

**London, 1981**

"Doctor?"

He could see them all, his past and present companions calling his name. Sarah, Harry, the Brigadier, Romana...both Romanas, Leela, K-9, Nyssa, Tegan and finally young Adric.. They'd all served him well and all had become his friends, especially Sarah and K-9. No, he would not forget any of them.

"It's the end but the moment has been prepared for," Tom said and held out his arm.

"The Watcher!" Adric exclaimed as it approached them, its body merging with the Doctor's.

"He was the Doctor the whole time," Nyssa said. Before the transformation could take place, all was frozen and Ozmalita appeared. She waved her hand over the Doctor's chest and a glowing white orb appeared. She floated the orb over to the box she carried and closed it.

"Dear Tom. A new adventure awaits you...she awaits you." she said, vanishing in a puff of silver smoke as Tom's face transformed into Peter's and smiled.

**Peter's TARDIS 1984**

"I might regenerate. I don't know. Feels different this time," Peter said weakly as he lay on the floor, the spectrox poison he'd been exposed to coarsing through his bloodstream. Any moment now it would reach his hearts but at least Peri was safe.

"What was it you always told me Doctor? Brave heart?' he heard Tegan ask.

"How many of your enemies would delight in your death, Doctor?"

The voice now belonged to Turllough, the companion that had once tried to kill but became his friend.

"You're needed Doctor. You mustn't die Doctor," Nyssa pleaded.

"Many of your enemies would delight in your death, Doctor?" Turlough said again.

"You know that Doctor." The voice was now Adric's. Poor boy...dying so young...

"Adric…"

"No, my dear Doctor you must die! Die Doctor!" The Master taunted. But he would not die. No, he would come back stronger this time and nothing like the man he was before. A face passed before his eyes. A face knew well from Galifrey. Commander Maxill. Yes, that was the man he needed to be now. Seconds after the change began it was halted and Ozmalita appeared, freezing him and Peri. She waved her hand over his chest, another glowing white orb appearing. She floated it over to the box.

"Now you can be your charming self as often as you wish to be Peter," Ozmalita said softly as she vanished.

**San Francisco, 1996**

Of all ways to die, he'd never imagined it would be on an operating table after being shot by a gang of thugs. Now here he was, on a cold slab in a hospital morgue and this time the change had been more painful as his face and body were being completely reconstructed. It made him think of one of those popular Earth movies...Frankenstein he thought it was. In fact, he could have sworn he was hearing it playing on the television not far from there. Before the final reconstruction took place he froze.

Ozmalita opened the freezer door and pulled the drawer out. The Doctor's regeneration was nearly finished. She waved her hand, the white orb appearing.

"You will live again soon Sylvester," she promised as she placed it in the box with the others. She then released the spell and vanished as Paul's eyes fluttered open.

**Sarn **

**The early days of the Time War**

"You're the Sisterhood of Karn. Keepers of the Flame of Utter Boredom," Paul said bitterly.

"Eternal life," the Priestess corrected him.

"That's the one."

"Mock us if you will but our elixir can trigger your regeneration., bring you back. Time Lord science is elevated here. On Karn, the change doesn't have to be random. Fat or thin, young or old, man or woman."

"Why would you do this to me?"

"You have helped us in the past."

"You were never big on gratitude."

"The war between the Daleks and the Time Lords threatens all reality. You are the only hope left."

"It's not my war I want no part of it."

"You can't ignore it forever."

"I help where I can. I will not fight."

"Because you are the good man as you call yourself?"

"I call myself the Doctor."

And before him lay another casualty of the Time War. More would follow, millions more. He would not fight, he could not fight as long as he was the Doctor. He would have preferred death but the Priestess of Karn knew death was not the answer. The Time War had to end and he was the only one that could end it.

"The universe stands on the brink? Will you let it fall?" she asked tearfully. "Fast or strong? Wise or angry? What do you need now?"

"Warrior," he said. "I don't suppose there's a need for a doctor anymore. Make me a warrior now."

"I took the liberty of preparing this one myself."

He ordered them all out and held out the goblet.

"Charley, C'rizz, Lucie, Tamsin, Molly...friends, companions I've known. I salute you. And Cass...I apologize. Physician, heal thyself." he said and began to sip from the goblet. As the regeneration process began, Paul like the others was frozen as Ozmalita appeared.

"You won't need to be a warrior now, Paul...unless you choose to be," she said softly as an orb floated toward the box she was holding. She closed the lid and vanished, releasing the spell.

**Kane's TARDIS 2013 **

"Well, gentlemen it has been an honor and a privilege," Kane said and stood up. They were in the National Gallery in London, he and two of his future selves along with the charming Clara Oswald. Together they'd done the impossible. They'd saved Gallifery even if it was frozen in a moment of time, It was a better alternative than the one his future selves had remembered...billions dead...at his hand.

"Likewise," Alex said and bowed his head respectfully as did Matt.

"Doctor," Matt said with a smile.

"And if I grow to be half the man you are, Clara Oswald...I shall be happy indeed."

"That's right, aim high!" Clara laughed and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I won't remember this will I?"

"The time streams are out of sync.. You can't retain it, no." Matt replied.

"So I won't remember that I tried to say Gallifrey rather than burn it. I'll have to live with that. But for now...for this moment. ...I am the Doctor again. Thank you. Which one is mine? Ah!"

Once he was inside the TARDIS and dematerialized his hands began to glow.

"Oh yes...of course suppose it makes sense. Wearing a bit thin. I hope the ears are bit less conspicuous this time!"

At that moment he froze. Ozmalita smiled as she waved her hand over his chest and retrieved the glowing white orb.

"You will always be a Doctor now, Kane," she said softly and placed the orb in the box before she vanished and now Christopher stood in Kane's place.

**Christopher's Tardis 2005 **

"Doctor!" Rose cried.

"Stay away!" Christopher warned as he forced himself to stand.

"Doctor, tell me what's going on."

"I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex and no one's meant to do that." He winced, still holding his chest. "Every cell in my body is dying."

"Well, can't you do something?"

"Yeah. I'm doing it now. Time Lords have this little trick. It's...sort of a way of cheating death. Except...it means I'm gonna change. I'm not gonna see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go…"

"Don't say that…"

"Rose, before I go I just wanted to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what...so was I!"

They froze.

"Yes you were, Christopher and you will be again...as a new man," Ozmalita said, another white orb in her hand. She summoned the box and placed it inside. She flicked her wrist and vanished as Alex greeted a shocked Rose.

**Alex's TARDIS New Years Eve 2005**

The damage the radiation had done to this body was even greater than it had been in his sixth incarnation but at least Will was safe. The old man still had a few more good years left in him and Alex never would have forgiven himself if he'd allowed Donna's beloved grandfather to die before his time. He slowly, painfully tried to make his way back to the TARDIS and fell to the ground. When he looked up one of the Ood was standing there.

"We will sing to you Doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep," it said softly. He slowly rose to his feet, the Ood's song restoring part of his strength. "This song is ending but the story never ends."

_But my story is ending, _Alex thought sadly.

"I don't want to go," he said tearfully but he could not stop the change. It was coming. He closed his eyes as the regeneration energy surged through him.

"The story never ends," Ozmalita said softly when she appeared in the frozen console room. "In another world you have the happy ending you wanted but a new one awaits you in this one." She placed his orb in her box. "Now its time for you to find it." She waved her hand and vanished as the newly generated Matt now stood in the console.

**Matt's TARDIS 2013**

"It all just disappears doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment like breath on a mirror. Any moment now, he's a coming."

"Who?" Clara asked.

"The Doctor."

"But you are the Doctor!" Clara insisted.

"Yep and I always will be. But times change and so must I. We all change, when you think about it. Amelia!" he cried when he saw the younger Amy running up the stairs.

"Who's Amelia?'

"The first face this face ever saw. We all change when you think about it. We are all different people all through our lives and that's okay, that's good you've got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when The Doctor was me."

Now the older Amelia was coming for him. He smiled.

"Raggedy man," she said softly as she touched his cheek and he touched hers. "Good night."

Then she was gone.

He removed his bow tie and let it fall to the floor, doubting this new Doctor would think bow ties were cool. No, he would have his own sense of style and that was okay...maybe.

"No, no, please...don't change!" Clara pleaded and reached for him but before she could reach for him he was gone and someone else was in his place..and she and he were frozen.

There was a puff of silver smoke and Ozmalita appeared. She waved her hand over his chest and white orb appeared. She conjured a box and placed it beside the orbs belonging to the other doctors.

"You and her together..all of time and space...time for another run Matt," Ozmalita said as she vanished leaving Clara stunned to see an older Malcolm in Matt's place.

**Malcolm's TARDIS 2017**

"Oh, there it is. Silly old universe. The more I save it the more it needs saving. It's a treadmill. Yes, yes I know they'll get it all wrong without me. Well, I suppose….one more lifetime won't kill anyone. Well, except me. You wait a moment, Doctor. Let's get it right. I've got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first.

"Never be cruel, never be cowardly. And never ever eat pears! Remember – hate is always foolish…and love, is always wise. Always try, to be nice and never fail to be kind. Oh, and….and you mustn't tell anyone your name. No-one would understand it anyway. Except…."

He fell to the floor.

"Except….children. Children can hear it. Sometimes – if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too. Children can hear your name. But nobody else. Nobody else. Ever." he said weakly as he pulled himself up.

"Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind. Doctor – I let you go."

Suddenly everything was frozen as Ozmalita appeared. She waved her hand over Malcolm's chest and a final glowing orb appeared that she placed in the box with the others.

**Portland, Maine**

**Spring, 2040**

"Come on Yaz. Time you met my friends," Jodi said to her companion once the TARDIS materialized. She pushed the button to open the main doors and stepped outside, frowning. "This doesn't seem right."

Yaz came out of the TARDIS a few minutes later. "Doctor, I was expecting castles, not a long stretch of road and some trees. Are you sure we're in the right place?"

"Of course we are," Jodi reassured her. "This is one of the main roads into town but once we get into town then you're going to start seeing castles."

"I hope so," Yaz said as they started walking.

Finally Jodi could see a sign reading WELCOME TO STORYBROOKE but as she approached it there was a flash of light that threw her to the ground. She immediately got up.

"What's this then?" she asked, holding out her sonic. After she pressed the button the device burst into flame.

"That's not good! Doctor, what's going on?"

"I don't understand. The town's force field never activated when I came in before."

"Well, that's a disappointment," she heard another voice say sand turned to see another woman standing on the road beside them and to her horror the woman plunged her hand into Yaz's chest.

"Doctor!" Yaz screamed.

"Oh no don't you hurt her!" Jodi yelled and ran forward. The woman waved her hand and suddenly the Doctor found herself unable to move.

"Oh, Doctor….it seems my sister's spell affected everyone but you. A disappointment for you but a triumph for me!" the girl laughed as she ripped Yaz's heart out of her chest and held it out.

"Don't. Please, don't…" Jodi pleaded.

"You can save her. All you have to do is become him." The girl's grip tightened and Yaz cried out in pain.

"What do you want?"

"The Valyard. The Beast. The Oncoming Storm. You've been avoiding him too long."

"No. Ask me to do anything else and I will do it but I will not become him!"

"Not even to save her life?' The grip tightened.

"Don't do it Doctor," Yaz pleaded.

"I can't let another companion die for me."

"She'll kill me anyway. Please don't give her what she wants. You know you can't become The Valyard. You can't!"

"Oh but she will. All she needs is a little push." The girl squeezed tighter, Yaz's screams joining the Doctor's as the girl squeezed until the heart turned into dust in her hand. Yaz fell to the ground at the grieving Doctor's feet.

"I will NOT become him. Kill me if you want but I will not become him!" Jodi snarled. The girl smiled and blasted her. Jodi fell to the ground holding her chest. "Who...who are you…?"

"You'll know soon enough Doctor. Now go back to your TARDIS and bring me the Valyard."

"Never!" She glanced over at Yaz, tears in her eyes. The girl knelt beside her, smiling evilly.

"You want to kill me, don't you?" she taunted. "The darkness in you is clawing its way to the surface. All you have to do is surrender to it."

"NO!"

The girl waved her hand and Jodi vanished.

"We'll see."

Jodi sagged against the console clutching her chest and sighed heavily. It was time once again to change but as she glanced down at her hands, her eyes widened in horror for the regeneration energy that was emitting from them was not gold but black.

"No. NO! I will NOT become him! I WILL NOT!" she screamed. "Noooooo!" She pressed her hands to her head and screamed louder as she felt the regeneration process starting.

_There's evil in all of us Doctor, even you. The Valyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation and I must say you don't improve with age._

A hand reached up and turned the monitor. The screen reflected the image of an older man dressed in a black leather cape and cap, the robes of a Gallifreyan prosecutor, or at least that was the disguise he'd donned in the courtroom when he'd first faced his Sixth incarnation. He smiled.

"Finally!" he heard a voice exclaim from the doorway and turned to see a young woman standing there.

"Who are you?" The Valyard demanded of the young woman.

"You were taking too long to get where you needed to be so I simply sped up the process," she replied and laughed.

"That still doesn't answer my question. Who are you?"

She held up a dagger.

"Alemedia. So you've finally done it. You got the dagger in your half sister Robin's hands."

"And she is the one who can finally get me out of that worthless son of a Jotun whore's prison but there is still more work to be done. That's where you come in."

She gestured and shut the main doors. A few minutes later the TARDIS dematerialized.

"Dammit! We've lost them!" The Fourteenth Doctor cursed.

"Oh no we haven't!" River Song reminded him, holding out her arm. The Fourteenth Doctor made a face.

"Vortex manipulator. Cheap and nasty time travel."

"We don't have a choice. He's got the TARDIS and you know where he's going."

_You've got all of that to come. You and me together. All of time and space. You watch us run!_

And he knew where she was going after this adventure. A night that would last twenty-four years until it was finally time to go to The Library but if Ozmalita could give him new life he would make damn sure she did the same for his beloved wife if they succeeded in stopping the Valyard and Alemedia and he would send her back where she belonged...with Matt.

"Well my way is better, dearie!" he chuckled and gestured, the pair disappearing in a puff of smoke.


End file.
